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How To Start a Eulogy: 15 Heartfelt Examples

Nov 17, 2023

Writing a eulogy can be a daunting experience, especially as you’re grieving the loss of a loved one. Many people find starting the eulogy is the hardest part of writing it because you want to create something meaningful but also correct. 

To help you write the perfect beginning to a eulogy, we put together some tips on where to start, plus a list of 15 heartfelt examples.

Key Takeaways 

A good way to start a eulogy is with a simple introduction of yourself and to thank the audience for coming to the service. 

You can add certain things to your eulogy, like quotes, poems, and fond memories.

Avoid talking about yourself for too long in the eulogy, talking too fast, or using super long quotes in your eulogy. 

How to Start a Eulogy

Being chosen to write a eulogy for a loved one is a great honor, which means you want to write it in the best way to pay tribute to the deceased. Here are some tips on how to begin.

Introduce Yourself 

At the start of a eulogy, one of the first things you should include is who you are. Introduce yourself to the listeners, and explain how you know or are related to the deceased. This helps them feel more connected to you.

If you aren’t a family member, you can also offer your condolences to the deceased’s loved ones.

Thank People for Coming 

Thank the audience for coming out to the funeral, memorial, or whatever type of service you are having. This makes them feel appreciated and starts the service off the right way. 

If there are any people who brought food, were part of the planning, or deserve a special mention, you can thank them as well. 

Talk About Your Relationship with the Deceased 

After introducing yourself, you can lead into talking about the relationship you had with the deceased. Mention things they taught you, something special you will always remember them for, or the effect they had on your life.

Share a Quote or Poem

Some people like to start the eulogy with a nice quote or poem they feel is appropriate for the service. It sets the tone for the rest of the speech.

If your loved one had a special saying that people associated with them, it’s appropriate to use it at the start of the eulogy. 

Share a Fond Memory 

There is no right or wrong way to start a eulogy, and you can always share a fond memory of the deceased. 

Sharing memories can evoke feelings of nostalgia and positivity toward the person who passed. Remember, the eulogy is a celebration , a tribute to the deceased. 

Professional Eulogy Writer, Darcey Peterson , advises:

“For a simple example, ‘Aunt Jane was kind and she loved animals.’ Consider instead a memory like, ‘I still remember summer vacations and overnights with Aunt Jane. I always loved helping her with her evening ritual of feeding the dogs and the birds and even the stray neighborhood cats; all before we even sat down for our own dinner!’”

Tell a Story 

You can begin the eulogy by sharing a short story after your opening lines. This is a great way to engage the audience and build a connection with them.

TedX speaker and teacher at the Swiss International School, Brett Simner , advises:

“Tell stories, great stories, the ones that some will know, but not everybody. They can, of course, include professional accomplishments, but they can also be funny or quirky.”

15 Heartfelt Examples of a Eulogy Introduction 

Finding heartfelt words to begin the eulogy with can be difficult. Here are some examples to use as inspiration. 

Starting a Eulogy for a Parent 

Good afternoon. Thank you all for coming. Before I begin, I wanted to read a meaningful poem that reminded me of my mother, [deceased’s name]. [ Poem .]

Dear friends, family and colleagues of [deceased’s name], I am [your name], and it is my greatest honor to reflect on the life of my father, [deceased’s name], today. I’d like to take a moment to share my fondest memory of him. [Share fond memories.] 

For those of you who don’t know me, I am [deceased’s name’s] daughter.

My mother always used to say [insert funny saying], and if she were here with us today, I have no doubt she would think so, too. 

Starting a Eulogy for a Partner 

[Partner’s name] was my prince charming and the man that I loved from the moment I saw him. I remember that day so clearly [insert memory of how you met the deceased.] [Partner’s name] always wore a smile, and if you were having a bad day, he would always try to cheer you up.

Example 5: 

[Partner’s name] once said, [add saying], and I feel like she was speaking about us as a couple. [Partner’s name] was someone I knew I would spend the rest of my life with. [Share memories.] 

Example 6: 

Every love story is beautiful, but ours was my favorite. As [deceased's name’s] partner in life and adventures, I am deeply honored to stand here before you today, not to mourn his passing, but to celebrate the vibrant and inspiring life he led.  

Starting a Eulogy for a Friend 

Example 7: 

[Deceased’s name] was my best friend on and off the basketball court, and I’ll miss all the afternoons we spent playing together. [Share memories.] 

Example 8: 

Good afternoon, my name is [your name], and [deceased’s name] was my friend. I have known [deceased’s name] since we were young children, and I will always remember the time that we [share memory of the deceased].

Example 9: 

Good day, friends and family. I just want to start by thanking you all for coming out this afternoon to celebrate the man we all loved, [deceased’s name], and his family. I know many of you traveled from far to be here with us, and I’m very grateful for that.

Starting a Eulogy for a Child 

Example 10: 

Good day. Thank you all for coming. I know that [child’s name] would be so touched to see you all here honoring her life. [Child’s name] always loved it when the family got together, especially at Christmas. [Share memory.]

Example 11: 

Dear friends and family. I wanted to start with a quote I know [child’s name] would like by Thomas Jefferson : [quote]. [Child’s name] always enjoyed learning about history, and we often visited the local museum. [Share memory.]

Example 12: 

While the passing of [child’s name] is tragic, I know that he would have wanted us to take this moment to celebrate their life and hold our loved ones near. My name is [your name], and [child’s name] was someone who was always cheerful even when things were bad. 

Starting a Eulogy for a Sibling 

Example 13: 

Hi everyone, most of you know me, and to those that don’t, [sibling’s name] was my sister. Growing up with a sister older than you can be tough, [share a funny story], but it also meant that I always had a friend who was there for me. 

Example 14: 

[John 14:27] My sister [sibling’s name] always loved that Bible verse and would often read it to me during times when I was nervous about something. [Sibling’s name] and I were always close. We would often [share a memory].

Example 15: 

Dear friends and family, thank you all for being here. [Sibling’s name] was my younger brother and best friend. If [sibling’s name] were here today, I know he would have said, [insert deceased’s favorite saying]. 

Mistakes to Avoid in the Introduction of Your Eulogy

A eulogy doesn’t have to be perfect, and there are no rules on what to include. It’s all personal. However, there are some mistakes that you should avoid making in the introduction.

Speaking Too Fast

Speaking in front of a bunch of people can be nerve-wracking, especially when you’re talking about something so personal and emotional. However, you should avoid speaking too fast, as some people may struggle to understand you, and the eulogy will feel rushed.

Using Long Quotations or Religious Passages

Beginning the eulogy with a long quotation or religious passage can make it feel impersonal. Long passages can cause the audience to become distracted or lose interest, as they cannot relate to you and the eulogy. 

Giving Too Much Detail About the Death

Avoid oversharing too many personal details about the deceased’s passing, their life and their family. This may cause feelings of embarrassment, especially if the death was a controversial one, like an overdose of drugs. If you’re unsure whether to include something, ask your friends and family first.

Making Unnecessary Jokes

It’s okay to keep things upbeat and lighthearted when starting your eulogy. You can even make a joke or two. However, you should avoid unnecessary humor that can come across as offensive and tasteless. 

Telling Embarrassing Stories About the Deceased

You are welcome to share any fond or (appropriate) funny memories you have of the deceased, but this doesn’t mean you should share embarrassing stories. This can come across as disrespectful and hurt the family’s feelings. 

Bringing Up Grudges

When writing the introduction of the eulogy, you should not bring up any grudges you have between the deceased and their family. Not only is this disrespectful toward the person who passed, but it’s also hurtful to the family. 

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What is a good opening line for a eulogy.

Good afternoon, everyone. My name is [insert name], and [deceased’s name] was my father/mother/sibling/etc. 

How long should a eulogy last?

Generally, you should keep your eulogy between three to seven minutes . Every eulogy is unique, though, so it might be shorter or longer. There is no exactly right answer.

What makes a powerful eulogy?

Make your eulogy powerful by sharing your favorite memories about the deceased and telling stories the audience can relate to.

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How to Start Off a Eulogy: Examples and Etiquette

As a college instructor and communication expert with extensive nonfiction and educational writing experience, Mary shares tips and advice related to a wide variety of topics.

Learn about our Editorial Policy .

Being asked to deliver the eulogy at the funeral of a beloved friend or family member is an honor, but it can be difficult to find the words to begin. Reviewing a few examples can help you figure out what to say at the start of a meaningful tribute to honor the memory of a loved one.

How to Start a Eulogy

There isn't just one right way to start a eulogy, but there are a few basic etiquette guidelines to consider when deciding how to begin.

• It's possible that not everyone in attendance will know who you are, so introduce yourself at the beginning of your speech.
• Express appreciation to those who are in attendance, while also acknowledging that they too have lost a friend or loved one.
• Specify your relationship to the deceased, so that attendees will have an idea of the context of your relationship with the deceased.
• Provide insight into the overall theme of the eulogy before transitioning to the body of the speech.
• What to Say in Funeral Thank You Notes: Examples, Tips, and Etiquette

Eulogy Opening Examples

To open, say something like: "Good afternoon. My name is [insert your name]. Thank you so much for attending this ceremony honoring the life of [insert name of the deceased]. [She/he] was my [specify coworker]." This will address the first three bullet points listed above. From there, decide how to move forward based on the overall tone and theme of the eulogy. For example:

Sharing Fond Memories

This day is a profoundly sad one, though even in this time of grief I cannot help but reflect on the many wonderful experiences that I - and the rest of you - shared with [insert name of the deceased]. In navigating this loss, it's important for us to remember how much richer our lives have been as a result of our relationship with [insert name of the deceased]. Several of [his/her] closest friends and family members have shared their fondest memories with me. With their permission, I'll share those with you today...

Funeral Poem or Quote

I am heartbroken by the loss of my [specify relationship], but honored to have the opportunity to reflect on [his/her] life with you today. It's important that we acknowledge and fully experience the emotions of this day, on which we have gathered together to say goodbye to [insert name of the deceased]. I'd like to open with a meaningful [ poem , quote , or bible verse ] to reflect on the human experience of grief and this moment in time, as we gather together to say goodbye to [insert name of the deceased].

Family-Focused Eulogy

To [insert name of the deceased], family always came first. I'm proud to have been able to call [him/her] my [insert familial relationship], and to have had the experience of loving - and being loved by - someone who set such a good example of what it really means to put family first. Today I'll share with you just how much [he/she] meant to this family and ask all of you pray for us as we learn what it means to move forward without [him/her] in this life.

Deliver a Meaningful Funeral Tribute

Once you decide what to say at the very beginning of the eulogy, the next step will be to put together the body of the speech. Consider reviewing a few sample eulogy speeches for inspiration.

Writing a Eulogy: Flow, Sample & Guidelines

Hrideep barot.

• Speech Writing

19. That’s how old I was when I was asked to deliver my first eulogy. It was for my grandfather who passed away due to old age. Since then, I have seen and given quite a few eulogies.

As a speaker, many people have asked me what would be the best way to deliver a eulogy. But I am often of little help here. The tips of delivering a eulogy are quite different from a public speech.

However, there are some guidelines on how to start and write a eulogy to help you frame your eulogy a little more authentically while offering some standard dos and don’ts.

Just remember, these are simply suggestions. The important thing to keep in mind is to speak from the heart out of respect for whoever it has passed. As long as your eulogy is authentic, you would have done well.

So, let’s get started…

What is a eulogy?

I’m assuming you’re reading this because you have been asked to deliver a eulogy. But some of you might be here to simply understand what the heck a eulogy is. Let me explain that shortly.

A eulogy is a piece of writing or speech which is (usually) a tribute to someone who has recently passed away. They are usually delivered at funerals.

How to pronounce eulogy?

It’s not hard. But I have some people asking me this.

So, say it with me: yoo-luh-jee.

What to Keep in Mind When Writing a Eulogy?

Share a personal story.

A eulogy is, for obvious reasons, a very personal speech. So it’s probably a good idea to add a personal story you of an incident have shared with the deceased.

A story within a eulogy can be anything as long as it’s genuine, of course. Usually, people include a cherished memory that they have shared with the loved one.

What the story entails depends on your personal experience. You can maybe talk about something that happened on a trip or a get-together. Don’t be afraid to include some delicate humor here as well (more on this later)!

One great way to add a personal story into your eulogy is to share some advice or learning that the deceased has passed on to you.

This keeps the story positive, personal and shows the impact that person had on you.

Keep it focused on the deceased, not yourself

This happens rarely, but it still does happen. Some eulogy speakers end up talking for long mainly about themselves, forgetting that the whole point of the eulogy is to celebrate the one who has passed.

So try and keep the talk centered around the deceased.

Speaking of long talks, a eulogy should ideally be short and concise.

How long should a eulogy be?

In most cases, a eulogy of about 2 to 5 minutes would do. It can even go up to 10 minutes but try and not exceed that time limit.

A 5 minutes long eulogy will be approximately around 1000 words whereas a 10 minutes long one will be 15000 words, if spoken at a medium pace with appropriate pausing. It should be kept in mind to not rush through a eulogy.

To learn more about how to give a speech with appropriate pauses, check out our article on How to Harness the Power of Pausing in Public Speaking

While people may have a lot to say about the person who has passed away, one should still try and keep it short. Here’s why…

It’s not that people do not want to listen to you speak. You are most likely asked to deliver the eulogy because you’re close to the late person. But think about it this way:

The audience most likely comprises of 2 types of people, one who were genuinely close to the deceased and the other who have come more so to pay their tribute out of a formality.

Both these audiences could benefit from a shorter speech. One is still mourning and the other is not that close to be interested for too long. It’s a hard truth. But even a eulogy, at its core, is a speech. And long speeches are rarely a good idea in such contexts.

Rather keep your speech short to get your point across while you can still hold the audience’s attention.

Read our extensively written article on How to Deliver a 1 Minute Speech: Tips, Examples, Topics & More to know more about how to keep your speeches short.

Try and rehearse

A eulogy is an emotional matter. I myself broke down while delivering a eulogy for a close relative. And I’ve seen many people go through the same, unfortunately.

Our emotions take over and we just can’t help but choke up.

To help reduce these chances, try and rehearse your speech before you deliver it in front of people. Saying it out loud a few times can help normalize the words a little more and reduce the chances of choking up while saying those words.

Definitely do not go to speak without writing down some pointers. Even after rehearsing, there’s a chance of breaking down while delivering the eulogy because the mood of the funeral can sometimes take over us.

Having a small sheet with some pointers on it will help you gather your train of thought in case you lose track.

Learn more about how to practice a speech by reading our article on Surprisingly Simple But Effective Processes to Practicing for a Speech .

Include other close friends and family members in the speech

A good way to make a eulogy more inclusive is to add in stories about the deceased’s other friends and family members who are in the crowd.

This also helps the other close ones honor their relation with the deceased publicly and can offer a somewhat sublime cathartic experience.

One eulogy I had heard from a grandson about his late grandfather included a personal story from a trip the entire family had taken a few years before the passing. The story included bits and anecdotes of how the grandfather used to play pranks and cutely annoy different members of the family.

Everyone in the audience was tearing up with a joyful smile. A lot of the relatives could recall these instances because they were present at that trip. It also allowed them to remember their loved one in a positive light – even if it was just for a moment.

Should humor be used in a eulogy?

Humor, as I mentioned before, is not a bad thing in a eulogy. Of course, one must understand the situation they are in.

For example, you shouldn’t make humorous comments in the case of an untimely death of a child. That’s would be considered inappropriate to say the least.

But for people who have passed away from natural causes, whose deaths were expected in some way, a little humor for their eulogies can go a long way in easing the mood.

This one time, I was attending my friend’s father’s funeral. And I remember how gloomy the mood was (as it is in most funerals). Towards the end of the ceremony, there was a moment where all of us friends (including he who had lost his father) happened to cluster in one tiny circle.

One of my friends reminded us of something mildly funny that this deceased father had done a few years ago. And then, in a moment out of utter reverence and aloofness, all of us just burst out laughing. And, just for a second, all of us forgot the reality of the tragedy.

This is not a eulogy example, I know. But it’s just to give you some perspective on the powerful effects of humor even in dark situations.

Laughing has an amazing therapeutic and cathartic power.

Humor…can afford an aloofness and an ability to rise above any situation, even if only for a few seconds. Dr. Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

The Flow of a Eulogy

Start with greetings

‘How to start a eulogy?’ is the most commonly asked question. Starting a eulogy with a simple greeting could be a good option. Usually, I never recommend people to start speeches with a normal “Good Morning”, “Thank You”, etc.

But for a eulogy, you don’t really need an extravagant start.

You can simply start by thanking everyone for being there.

Introducing yourself

After starting the eulogy with a greeting, next, introduce yourself. Everyone present in the funeral might not know who you are.

So start by saying your name and how you’re related to the deceased. Nothing fancy to add here, as well. Just keep it simple.

Introduce the deceased

After introducing yourself, also introduce the deceased. Of course, most, if not all, people present there will be familiar with who the deceased is. But just a short intro about who they are could help.

For example, “We’re here today to pay our respects to John Brown – a husband, a father of two and a dear friend. John worked in hospitality in his early years, slowly progressing the ranks until one day, years later, he owned his own restaurant. That restaurant is where the entire legacy of our family begins and stands to this day….”

And then you move on. This gives some context of who John is, who were his loved ones and what he did while his time on earth.

Now that you have greeted everyone, introduced yourself and spoken a little about the deceased, narrate a small personal story that you share with the deceased.

I already covered this earlier so I’ll spare you the details. But essentially, a small genuine story can go a long way in communicating what that person truly meant to you and what place they hold in your heat.

Mention the good deeds

My grandfather was a kind man. I know that because he did a lot of good for people who had lesser than him. Not just in money but through his time and emotional effort as well.

But he rarely ever spoke about it and very few people outside the family knew about his deeds.

When he passed, I was asked to deliver the eulogy and I told myself I would definitely talk about all those random acts of kindness that he committed.

Some people do not like to talk about their good deeds. They keep it to themselves. So, if you’re given the chance to talk about them, do it. They don’t anymore and the world usually deserves to know.

End with the legacy that the deceased wish to leave behind

Finally, begin to end your eulogy with the legacy that the deceased had in mind for their family, their work, and their world.

If the person was old, this might be easier to decipher. However, if the person was young and the death was untimely, it can be hard to put forth what legacy they would wish to leave behind.

At such moments, go back to their stories, their values. Speak to people closest to them and understand what they considered to be most important to them.

This changes with different instances, of course. For my grandfather, I spoke about his legacy of a world where everyone becomes a giver a like him. For my uncle, I spoke about how family should always come first no matter how much success you may achieve. For my cousin, I spoke about how short life can be and how we must seize every day, just like she did.

Figure out what matters most to the deceased. And leave behind their legacy for them. 

This is why a eulogy is so much more than just any other speech. It’s so personal.

Always conclude on a positive note

Finally, end by telling the audience how the deceased themselves would have wanted to be remembered after death. Would they like you to mourn? Or would they like you to celebrate and move on to achieve our purpose in life, knowing full well that they will always be with us in spirit.

Things to not say in a eulogy

1. don’t list out events.

It should be kept in mind that while giving a eulogy you are not supposed to list out the events of the deceased, as it is not a CV. 

It is very easy to fall into the trap of listing the person’s events in a chronological manner while writing a eulogy but make sure to be aware of this. The focus should rather be on telling the stories.

2. Don’t bad-mouth the deceased

The deceased may not be related to you but while giving a eulogy, you are not supposed to judge their behaviour or criticize any negative traits of the deceased. Any long-term grudges or questionable behaviour must be left out of the speech. 

A eulogy is no place to mock the deceased. Although humor is always welcomed it has to be respectful.

3. Makes jokes about death

Making jokes about death in a eulogy may put you in an uncomfortable position. Although you may be trying to lighten the mood, jokes about death are highly inappropriate and should be avoided at all costs.

Eulogy Sample Speeches

Sample eulogy 1: from a grandson to his grandfather.

Thank you for being gathered here to pay your respects. I’m Joe and Mr. Al here was my grandfather. Pa grew up in a home not so privileged as the one he left behind. As a child, he was offered little education, minimum wage and enough food to keep his stomach from being empty. Pa was a quiet man as well. Even in his youth, based on the stories I’ve heard, he was always the last to speak. That doesn’t mean to say he didn’t have things to say, ideas to offer or opinions to share. He just preferred acting on them instead of talking about them – a lesson a lot of people in my generation, including me, can learn from. And in his quietness, he worked – slowly slowly transforming the world around him. Having his humble beginnings from a small village to creating a business that not only served his future family extremely well but also changed the way the industry functioned. Money, recognition, a great family – it all came to him eventually. Despite his quietness, he most enjoyed talking to us kids. I remember one day, back when I was 12, he had called all of us kids over to his home. No one was allowed to be on their phone or play video games. We just had to sit there and listen to him talk for hours telling us stories about his extraordinary life. And we would just listen. Those nights were something to remember. We were just speaking about those nights a couple of hours back when my brother said, “It just sucks that we couldn’t have more nights like those.” The most memorable of his stories ended with a moral that I try to live by ever since. He said, “Don’t judge your accomplishments by the money you earn, but the lives you positively impact.” And he impacted a LOT of lives in the most positive ways you can imagine. But in all of these accomplishments, he never lost his routes. He still went on, humble as ever, feeling like he could do more to help his world. A lot of you may not know this, but most of his wealth was given away by him. He rarely ever donated to charities though. He would always like to oversee the charitable operation so he would often just end up doing the actual work himself. This way he made sure that every penny was being used for the betterment of somebody. And this attitude of quietness, humility and giving is something he would have hoped to imbibe in us all. And that’s what I hope to be as I grow a little more each day. A little quieter, a little humbler, a little more giving. And I hope you do too. God bless you, Pa. Thank you.

Sample Eulogy 2: From a son to his father

Hi everyone, I am James, Colin’s son. First of all, I would like to thank everyone for coming to honor my dad. My father was a funny man. He liked playing pranks on people and loved it even more when people played it on him. He always used to be the heart of any party or gathering, making people laugh with his silly bits and funny jokes.  In my summer break, when I used to come home, my dad and I had this secret tradition of playing pranks on each other and recording them. While growing up, this used to be something that I would look forward to. It was moments like these that really brought us close. One such prank that I remember very vividly was when Dad’s friend – Uncle Ryan was invited by Dad for dinner at a restaurant on the 1st of April. I still remember Uncle Ryan calling Dad to ask if he’d left and realising later that it was a prank. These memories still manage to bring a smile on my face.  One of the most important lessons that I learnt from my dad was the ability to laugh at oneself and one’s mistakes. Laughing at oneself is the hardest humor skills but he managed to do it with the most ease without taking things to heart.  He always used to say that, “Son, don’t take life too seriously because if you do, you’ll forget to live one.” Today, I truly understand what he meant by that. I hope we can all learn to live our lives like Dad before it’s too late.  I cherish the memories I share with my father and I am sure he is smiling down on all of us. Once again, I would like to thank you all for coming today to celebrate the memories of my father.  Thank you.

Sample Eulogy 3: From a daughter to her mother

Thank you everyone for coming today to pay respects to my mother Julian, who was loved by all. I am her daughter, Jane. My mother and I shared a very special relationship as she was more of a friend than a parent. She has always been there for me and supported me irrespective of what she believed in.  My mother and I really bonded when I was in my teens. We had a ritual of telling each other how our day was at the dinner table. Even when I left for college, I remember her calling me everyday to hear about my day and how I was doing.  She was a wonderful person who would always be ready to help others in any way possible. At times she would also go out of her way to help others as she always believed that the world would be a better place if we all took a little extra effort for others. It was this positive attitude that she had, which helped her tremendously in her professional life. For those who do not know her very well, she was a therapist by profession and was always there for her clients. One of the things that I learnt from her was her dedication towards her work. She loved her work and was always committed to it. There were times when she had other commitments but she made sure that they never affect her work or her clients. Her devotion for her work was something that I would love to inculcate in my life.  She felt that if everyone does their job or fulfills their responsibility to the best of their capabilities, people will be a lot more happy and satisfied. I hope we can all imbibe such devotion for our work in our lives. It would be an understatement to say that I miss her today but I am glad to have spent time with her in her last few days. She is and will always be remembered by all of us. Mom, you will always be in our hearts.  Thank you.

Sample Eulogy 4: From a friend to another friend

Hello everyone. Thank you for coming to honor my friend, Liam. I am his friend Josh. I know some of you have traveled long distances to pay your respects, Liam would have loved seeing you all here.  Liam and I met in college and I instantly knew that I had to be his friend. Liam was a gem of a person. His amiable nature was something that I loved. Making friends for Liam was like a cakewalk because people loved his personality. He would always make sure to talk to everyone at a party or also in the class. Moreover, he was also a good listener. Liam and I got close through college events and by sharing notes in exams. He had always been there for me through thick and thin. He was like a brother to me. His friendly nature was something that we can all learn from. He always looked out for people and made sure no one felt aloof whenever he was in the room.  I remember the first time I met him was in Economics class where the professor had divided us into groups of 7-8 people and asked us to discuss some topic. I was a little hesitant to share my ideas with the group as I felt awkward. I was sitting quietly in a corner scribbling in my book. That is when Liam comes up to me and starts talking to me, asking me where I was from. That was Liam- for people who didn’t know him. He’d smile at you even if he didn’t know you, always making you feel extremely comfortable in his presence and that is what made him the best person I have ever met. He always felt that the world would be a better place if all of us were a little more friendly, a little more polite and a little more thoughtful of the people around us. I hope we all could learn from that and be better each day.   Today I miss him more than anything but I know he is here with us, in our hearts. I will always cherish the memories I share with him.  Thank you.

To Conclude, Remember to Speak From the Heart

While I have attempted to give you some sort of structure for delivering a eulogy, the best eulogies are often those which are the most genuine. They are spoken truly from the heart.

So, if the opportunity to deliver a eulogy is presented to you, forget the rules. Just speak what you want to speak.

You were asked to deliver the eulogy for a reason. Probably you shared a connection with the deceased that no one else did.

So forget the rules. You can use these points as a guide as to how to start and deliver a eulogy. But if you can take one thing from here, is that as long as you speak with almost a routed sense of authenticity, no way of delivering a eulogy is not correct.

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How to Start a Eulogy | The Ultimate Guide

You have been honored by being asked to write a eulogy for a loved one or a dear friend. Congratulations.

You’ve graciously accepted, and now it is time to begin.

But it’s shocking at how blank that computer screen looks. There is, literally, nothing on it and it’s all up to you. How to start a eulogy? What do you say at the very beginning?  What are some good opening words for a funeral service?

Getting started, of course, is the most difficult part. Getting the first words down on paper (or computer screen) is the first hurdle.

Starting Well

Those first few words tell your audience that what is about to come will be good and worth listening to. Their expectations become their reality. Your eulogy will be better than any they’ve ever heard – if the words are right. And, if you’ve done it properly, your eulogy will be a wonderful tribute to a life well lived.

Those first words are important because what you have to share is meaningful and the words you choose will bring wonderful (or not so wonderful) memories to the minds of your listeners and, perhaps, a smile to their faces or tears to their eyes.

A eulogy is different than any other speech you will ever give because of its intensely personal nature. You will be telling the life story of someone you’ve lost. That’s emotional. You will be telling of memories personal and public and that is, sometimes, the most vulnerable a person ever gets. You are putting yourself on the line to honor the one who has passed.

The first words of the eulogy are important because they set the tone for all you will be saying.

Memory Block

There is an internal psychological defense mechanism that numbs our hearts and minds when we lose a loved one. “ Tell me about Uncle John?” is a question a funeral celebrant or someone writing a eulogy may ask the family. The response is often a blank stare or useless generalities.

“Uncle John was a very nice man.” “Uncle John loved everybody.” “He liked to work hard and play hard.” Virtually NOTHING to use in a eulogy! It’s “Memory Block” brought on by loss and grief and questions that are too general.

To overcome memory block when writing a eulogy, you need to ask yourself specific questions. Ask things like, “What parts of Uncle John’s character do you think he would most like to have passed on to his nieces and nephews?” “How do you think he impacted his world?” “Who were his heroes?” “How would you describe his outlook on life?”

See? All of a sudden, you can answer those questions because they are thoughtful, specific, and have some depth. Including them in your eulogy will make the eulogy you write much more interesting and not just a listing of facts. The eulogy will bring the story of Uncle John’s life to life .

Go to a eulogy writing site and look at their questions . Those will be most helpful in getting the memory juices flowing.

If you find a list of good questions, copy them and actually fill in the answers. This will help immensely in the writing of the entire eulogy and not just the beginning words.

Standing to Speak

You win or lose your audience in the first few sentences (maybe the first few words) of any speech. What you say is important, but even more important is the way you say them.

As you approach the podium, clench your teeth. Those few seconds of clenching will make your enunciation crisper.

When you get to the podium, take a deep breath before you say the first word. This will send a relaxation signal to your body, infusing it with a tiny burst of oxygen that will produce calmness.

Then speak with confidence as though this were the most natural thing in the world.

Use inflection. Use pauses. Use a higher or lower volume with your voice, as indicated by your content.

The Sound Barrier

Unless you are an experienced public speaker, the first thing you will want to do is hear the sound of your own voice in the microphone.

You will want to say something that is emotion neutral before beginning to share memories and stories.

Even though there is a microphone, speak up. People appreciate being able to hear what you are saying. Even a microphone cannot improve on mumbling. Speak up. Speak clearly. Speak confidently.

“Watch” Yourself

One of the ‘tricks of the trade’ of public speakers is the utilization of the fact that our minds can do several things at the same time. One of the things you will be doing is speaking, of course. But try also to ‘see’ yourself almost as though from an ‘out of body’ experience. Imagine YOU watching yourself give the speech.

This technique brings amazing calmness, because you are no longer the one speaking (even though you are). You are now one of the guests watching and listening and enjoying.

The First Words of Your Eulogy – “Thank You”

Always begin a eulogy by thanking guests and mourners for coming. This is common courtesy as well as an opportunity for you to build your own confidence as you hear your own voice and gain the hearing of your audience.

Too often, the person delivering a eulogy fails to recognize that people have given up their time to attend the funeral or memorial service. They forget that everyone likes to be appreciated. You gain points by doing so with your opening remarks. SAY THANK YOU!

Here are a few examples as to how to begin the eulogy by saying expressing appreciation :

• I’d like to begin today by thanking you all for being here as we say a final farewell to our dad. Joe and Tina and I – and mom – have been so grateful for all the cards and emails received and the calls so many have made. All have been greatly appreciated and have meant so much.
•  Thank you all for being here today. It is so great to see so many of mom’s family and friends gathered in one place to honor this amazing woman. She would have been humbled that so many of you took time out of your day to say, with the rest of us, ‘good-bye.’
•  As you know, Tom was an incredibly shy person. He would have been SO uncomfortable having you all here today with him being the center of attention. But how could we not come to say a final farewell to a man who has done so much and touched so many lives? Thank you for being here today to honor him.
• Look at this crowd! Sarah was such an amazing woman. Everyone who ever knew her was touched by her love. Thank you all for being here today to pay your respects and share your memories of my sister. Mom and Dad – and our entire family – have been so blessed that so many have reached out with words of encouragement and care. Thank you.

NOW the Eulogy Begins

The ‘thank you’ is prelude to the eulogy. It allows you to get a feel for the environment, to hear your own voice, to settle your nerves, to begin to build a positive relationship with your audience.

The first real paragraph can vary in content quite a lot, depending on whether it is a eulogy for a father or a mother, a sibling, or a friend.

Begin with something that the questions you asked yourself from the questionnaire revealed as most interesting or something about the person that others may not have known – or something that EVERYONE knew to be one of the hallmarks of the departed loved one.

Following are first paragraphs for a variety of situations. These are the first paragraphs of eulogies actually written by a professional eulogy writer . Feel free to borrow and adjust them to fit the life and personality of the one you are eulogizing.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Mother

• Mom was healthy all her life up until six weeks ago. Then it all caught up with her and our beautiful mother left us. Mark, Greg and I always knew we had a wonderful mother in the years we were growing up. She was always there for us, nurturing, loving, doing whatever it was we might need done. Three stubborn boys weren’t always easy to raise, I’m sure, but she did it with wonderful grace and we never, for one minute, doubted her love and commitment to us. Whatever we needed, we had. Wherever we needed to be carted, we were taken. Whenever we needed a listening ear, she was there… The three of us were the most important things in her life (other than dad, of course) – and we were totally aware of that.
• These past few years haven’t been easy ones for the Hayes family. Watching mom lose her cherished memories; having her personality change SO much from what she used to be and for her to know, early on, what was going on – very difficult and painful. Throughout it all, dad has been amazing. He was there every step of the way, loving her as he has the entirety of their 49 years of marriage. Nothing could ever change that.
• Martha, Hammed and I grew up knowing that we had an extraordinary mother. I’ve told people that any compassion and grace – and manners – any of us have, is due to mom. She had those all down pat and taught them to us from a very early age. She was the kind of mom who was always there for us, teaching and helping us in any way she could.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Father

• You hear stories about men or women who are referred to as ‘self-made.’ They’ve come from humble backgrounds and have managed, through determination and hard work – through ingenuity and taking risk – to achieve the American Dream. Dad was one of those men. He wasn’t highly educated, but he had a vision for what could be. He looked at life always through the lens of optimism and knew he could do it. He built a successful company from nothing and saw it grow and prosper and provide for his family…
• Most of you knew our father as a very serious minded man – in many ways almost stoic. And he was. But he was also a man with a very tender heart. Kevin and I grew up knowing that he always loved us. He may not have shown that in overt ways, but we always knew. We knew that we were the most important people in his life (other than mom, of course – they were married for fifty two years). We always knew that dad loved seeing us grow up and loved being a role model for us. And he was. Almost everything that Kevin and I are can be attributed to dad and his example as to what it means to be a father or a brother or a friend.
• I’m not entirely certain of this, but I believe my voice may have been the last voice dad heard before he went to heaven. It was over the phone. I told him that I loved him. I told him that I know our relationship has had some major ups and downs but that it would be the desire of my heart that he get well and that we could rebuild our relationship. That was not to be, of course. That evening he was taken.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Grandmother

• Do you know anyone other than my grandmother who would be up at 2:00 in the morning combing out the tassels on the living room carpet? Until we realized she was doing it, I had no idea that tassels EVER needed combing. I’m still not convinced. It was just one of her quirks.
• Grandma was 81 but she had a young soul. No matter what came her way, no matter how many trials or hardships or obstacles, she carried a smile on her face. That smile kept her young and positive and strong. It kept her going through good times and bad. It was something that, if you saw her, you expected… and you always knew you were in the presence of a caring, giving, loving woman – a woman of strength and character.
• I remember so well how, when we were young, Dodo would babysit Keith and me in the summers at Oscar’s Beach. We would spend entire days in the sun. We would dig clams in the morning and she would cook them up for lunch. To this day, when I so much as smell clams, those memories come flooding back. She taught us how to play Yatzee and the card game “31.” We loved to play games with her. She probably sometimes let us win, but when we won we always thought ourselves so triumphant…

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Grandfather

• The first character trait I think of when thinking of grandpa is that he truly respected others. He didn’t always agree with them, but he so believed that every person deserves respect. I imagine that every one of us here today has some story we could tell of grandpa and I would guess that 90% of those stories have to do with ‘respect.’ If you knew him at all, you knew that you had better not disrespect him or anyone else in his presence. He simply wouldn’t tolerate it. People were too important to not be given the respect they deserve.
• Grandpa had so many friends, didn’t he? Usually when you are 92 you’ve outlived most of your friends. Not my grandfather… He lost a lot of them over the years, but so many of his friends were decades younger than he was. I guess he was planning ahead when he gathered them into his sphere.
• Last April we celebrated grandpa’s 94th birthday. I’ve begun to realize that when a person has lived that long, all of their friends have already passed. Years ago grandpa stopped attending funerals because he was already the last one standing. That has to be a rather sobering realization.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Sister

• Nancy and I weren’t twins, of course, but I always thought of us of being pretty much like twins. We were close in age. We looked alike. We thought alike. We defended one another against all others. When we were kids and mom or dad would spank Nancy for something, I’d do the crying. Nancy remained stoic.
• Krysi was my little sister. When she was born, Michael and I knew a little treasure had entered our lives. We knew that she would be one of our best friends… that she’d be with us forever…
• Cat spent the first two years of her life as an only child – absorbing all the love and attention mom and dad could lavish upon her. But she gladly gave up her ‘only child’ status when her sisters came along. How she loved being a big sister – a little mother – a best friend — to Cairi and Ciera.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Brother

• My brother, Mike, was such a man of principle and character. I remember so clearly the lessons we all learned in his warehouse when we worked there in our younger years. Two things he instilled in us: First – Build a network of people you know and trust and then don’t be afraid to use those connections throughout your life. People resources are the most valuable resource you can have – in business or in life. The second lesson, equally important: Use the resources you have and the opportunities that come your way to help others – for no other reason than it is the right thing to do .
• I don’t remember a single time when Don was impatient, unkind, or too busy for others. He was a warm, caring man who always had time for you and showed interest in your life and what you were doing. He was a man who consistently gave his best self to every one of us. How can you not love a man like that?
• Social science tell us that the first born in a family tends to be confident, a high achiever, driven and self-assured. Those words are a perfect description of Oboy. When our father died, back in 1998, Oboy stepped up and became the ‘man’ of the family. He watched out for the rest of us and encouraged us and, in so many ways, took dad’s place – helping mom and the family financially – standing up for all of us. Vergel, Meilyn, JP, and I have always known that our big brother had our best interests at heart.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Daughter

• When we look at Alexeya and Alannah, we see our daughter, their mother, Lala, in their smiles and laughter. We see her in their mannerisms and in their playfulness. We see her in their sense of humor and in their inquisitiveness. And we see her often in the subtle hints of their strong wills which, I’m sure, will be even more pronounced in the years to come.
• Our daughter, Weez, spent her life in service to others. She got her masters in Speech Pathology and, perhaps because of the profession, or perhaps because it just came natural to her, she became a world-class listener. She was what is often called an “active listener.” That means that she wasn’t just quiet while you talked and she listened. She asked questions that probed into whatever issue was at hand. And she listened in such a way that those she was talking with, knew she cared. And it was that listening skill – that continual affirmation of others – that made people love her.
• I have known and loved LaVerne longer than anyone living in the world today. I loved her from the first moment I saw her on the day she was born. I remember thinking how I couldn’t wait until he could walk and talk and how much fun we’d have. And we did – more than I could ever have imagined at the time.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Son

• Our son’s life was just getting started. He had just turned 16 at the end of June. He had the whole world ahead of him before it all ended. Eric (the family called him E.J.) was, in many ways, the typical 16 year old. He loved to ride his dirt bike, go camping, play video games, hang out with friends. He loved to look good, to have nice shoes, to have fun… He wasn’t a big fan of going to school but he was determined that he would finish and graduate in a couple of years. He wasn’t sure exactly what the future held but thought that, maybe, he’d join the military. There he’d get some training, get physically fit, and have some time to figure out what he wanted to do…
• Jack had a bit of a struggle coming into this world. He was in the NICU for a few days. But from the first day out of the hospital, he captured every heart who met him. He was all boy – full of energy and laughter and fun.
• My son was my hero – and a true American hero. His service to his country was exemplary. His death meant our military was short one of its best soldiers. But his heroism was more than military, it was personal. He was the most loving, caring, compassionate and empathetic man I’ve ever known.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Wife

• God granted Christine and me 22 wonderful years. There should have been more – we should have grown old together – we should have one day sat in our rocking chairs and looked back over the decades we spent loving one another and all the memories we made. That will never be, but each and every one of the memories we did make I will cherish forever…
• As most of you know, Cheryl was an optimist to the core. She was always positive and refused to take part in any discussion of anything negative. Even with her cancer. She didn’t want to talk about it unless it was absolutely necessary. She didn’t deny it. She just felt no need to dwell on it. She was a woman who was always ready to look for the bright side to whatever came her way. And she wanted that for everyone she knew. If she could, she’d help you put a smile on your face and work through whatever the trouble might be.
• The Bible talks about a woman of character being a treasure to her family. Mae truly was. Her brightness lit up our lives every day. Her courage inspired us. Her work ethic spurred us on toward success. She was the love of my life.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Husband

• Life always laughs at plans we make. David and I expected to see all of you in this room one day to celebrate his retirement, not to meet here to remember his life. We expected that to be a few years from now…
• When John and I got married three years ago, we knew this day would come. He had been diagnosed a year before, but we chose to walk this final earthly journey hand in hand – together. We had known one another for quite a number of years – since all the kids were young. We were friends for years before God brought us together in, what I would describe, as a wonderful, love-filled marriage. When we were dating, we discovered that we had the same values and family ideals. We both wanted the same things in life. We both were committed to our relationship with God. And God honored our coming together by giving us three wonderful years. Not long enough, of course, but every day was full and rich and never to be forgotten.
• I can imagine that Tom would feel a bit uncomfortable today if he were alive. He never wanted people to make a fuss over him. He never wanted to be the center of attention. I can imagine him saying, seeing all of us gathered with our memories and grief, “My God! – such a fuss.”

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Friend

• I’ve had the privilege of knowing Jeremy for 22 years. We met at Target while we were stocking shelves as young men. I remember that day like it was yesterday. He had such an energy about him – a sense of joy and life – that I knew we’d be friends. He was quiet at first, like he was with everyone, but as you know, once you got a bit acquainted, he was a funny guy. His personality came out and his sense of humor, and you could talk and joke around and laugh together for hours. I am so sorry we didn’t get a chance to say good-bye to him and that he left us so soon.
• Kelly was an amazingly positive woman. Nothing ever got her down. She was committed to self-care and making everyone around her smile and enjoy life just a little bit more. She ran a guest house in the French Quarter and was, without doubt, one of the best hostesses anywhere. She had a knack for making people feel comfortable, for knowing what they needed before they did, and always keeping them laughing. I have no doubt that everyone she hosted, went home with stories about their stay with her – planning to return as soon as they could. She was MADE for being around people and she thrived there, in the quarter.
• As we grow older we continue to understand the meaning of a true friend. Someone willing to put your happiness, principles and values right there in the friendship. With whom you can be yourself without fear of judgment. This is the friend Preston was to us all.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Co-Worker

• There isn’t anyone in the world who fought cancer harder than Al. He never complained about his cancer and all the treatments and all that has been going on for the past 16 months, but he did admit, from time to time, how he felt. He said, “This sucks.” And it did. Saying a final farewell sucks, too. He was too young, too vibrant, too good of a guy to leave us.
• To know Dave was to love him. He was the kind of man who was always there for you. He was always ready and willing to do anything he could to help out anyone who needed a hand. I suppose that, at first meeting, Dave may have come across as a bit unusual to some people, but that didn’t last for long once you got to know him and see what kind of character he had – once you saw his sensitivity and humility and love. If you knew him, you invariably got his signature move… He’d point at you and wiggle his fingers until you smiled [ demonstrate ]. He wanted people to be happy.
• I’m Steve Weisman, John’s boss for almost 24 years. My dad hired him when John and I were both young and we’ve worked together ever since. It is my honor to be standing here today talking about a wonderful man in my life and in so many of your lives.

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Neighbor

• Looking back on their 34 years of marriage, there was little doubt for Mack that their wedding day was probably the best day of his life. He got to marry the woman of his dreams and together they were an example of love and commitment and working together – of loving one another for over three decades. No one who knew Mack and Naomi ever doubted their love… in fact, many of us in the neighborhood, wished they could have such a relationship themselves.
• I knew Doc for fifty-one years. We’ve played hundreds of rounds of golf, walked countless miles through fields chasing up birds. We’ve probably shared barrels of beer. It has been one of the greatest honors of my life to have called this man my friend and my neighbor. My biggest regret is that, in all that time, being together on a million occasions, I never actually told him, in words, that I loved him… But I did…
• These past several years, since his accident, have been pretty hard for Johnny. His health began its decline then and just continued. Dee was always there by his side, doing whatever needed to be doing. Dee you really came through for your husband. It’s not easy being a care giver, but you took seriously your vows on your wedding day, “in sickness and in health.”

Examples of How to Start a Eulogy for a Difficult Person

• It’s hard to know what to say about dad. He had some issues. He wasn’t always easy to get along with. He was often a bit aggressive and almost always argumentative. As someone said, ‘he was quite a character.’ To which I replied, “That’s an understatement.” But he was our dad and we loved him even with his quirks and eccentricities. There wasn’t any time, when we were growing up, that we didn’t know that he loved us.
• The human mind is such a complex thing – it is always in a precarious balance of its chemical and neurological components. Most of us, most of the time, are completely normal, but all of us, from time to time, find ourselves in various moods for which there is no obvious explanation… but all within the ‘normal’ spectrum. Mom’s didn’t always stay in that narrow spectrum. Modern medicine helped, but the side effects were often less than desirable. Like so many others who struggle with that mental chemical imbalance, she’d abandon them for a while, only to fall into some of the darker recesses of the mind. No one’s fault. It is just, sometimes, how we were made and how we are forced to live.
• From the time Jeremy was born, we knew there were problems. He cried constantly. When he got older, his fits of rage were frightening. As an adult, it was sometimes very difficult to be around him. But between those difficult times, he could be a wonderful, loving, giving person. He was my brother and I loved him.

More Resources

If you are looking for more resources for writing and delivering a eulogy, please see:

• How to write a eulogy and speak like a pro
• 30+ best eulogy examples to inspire you
• 100+ beautiful quotes to use in a eulogy speech

About the Author

This post on how to start a eulogy was kindly provided by Steve Schafer, a professional writer who writes beautiful eulogies for clients in the USA and Internationally.  To learn more about his work, please visit The Eulogy Writers .

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How to Start a Eulogy

Last Updated: November 21, 2022 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Lynn Kirkham and by wikiHow staff writer, Megaera Lorenz, PhD . Lynn Kirkham is a Professional Public Speaker and Founder of Yes You Can Speak, a San Francisco Bay Area-based public speaking educational business empowering thousands of professionals to take command of whatever stage they've been given - from job interviews, boardroom talks to TEDx and large conference platforms. Lynn was chosen as the official TEDx Berkeley speaker coach for the last four years and has worked with executives at Google, Facebook, Intuit, Genentech, Intel, VMware, and others. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 65,982 times.

Being asked to write a eulogy for a departed loved one is a sober responsibility, but it can also be cathartic. This is a chance to honor your friend or family member after their passing and share fond memories with others who were close to them. If you have the task of writing and delivering a eulogy, you may be wondering where to begin. There’s no set structure for eulogies, although you may have a time limit (e.g., 5 minutes). Keep your opening short, clear, and simple. When you’re delivering your opening comments, stick to the script and take your time.

Writing Your Opening

• For example, you might decide that you are going to build your eulogy around a favorite personal memory you have of your loved one.

• For example, you might say, “My name is Sally Edwards. Evan was my big brother and my best friend.”

• You might say, “I’d like to thank all of you for coming to Uncle John’s funeral, especially those of you who have flown in from out of state. It means so much to all of us, and I know it would make him so happy to see all of you here.”

• For example, you could say, “I’d like to offer my heartfelt condolences to Sarah’s family for the loss of their beloved daughter and sister.”

• You might start with something really simple and straightforward, such as, “I’m going to share one of my favorite memories of Aunt Rosa.”
• If you prefer, you could open with something more attention-grabbing, such as a few words that you feel capture whatever you are trying to say about your loved one. For example, “Phil never went anywhere without his camera and a sense of wonder.”

Delivering the Eulogy Opening

• If you’re nervous or emotional, try to visualize yourself calmly delivering the eulogy before you begin.
• Before you start, close your eyes and picture your loved one as you remember them. Acknowledge your grief, but also think about the good feelings associated with your memories of them. [5] X Research source

• Print your script out in a large, easy-to-read font and double space it. That way, you won’t be struggling to read your notes if you lose your place.

• Try to breathe normally. If you’re nervous or emotional, it’s easy to end up breathless or inadvertently hold your breath.
• You may find it helpful to have a glass or bottle of water and some tissues or a handkerchief handy as well.

• Try to directly address the people who were closest to the person who passed away, such as their immediate family.
• You may find that looking at your listeners makes you too emotional, and that’s okay. Don’t try to maintain eye contact if it makes speaking too difficult.

• Nobody will hold it against you if you get choked up. This is a difficult and emotional time for everyone present.

Expert Q&A

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://www.funeralwise.com/celebration-of-life/eulogy/theme/
• ↑ https://www.funeralwise.com/celebration-of-life/eulogy/
• ↑ Lynn Kirkham. Public Speaking Coach. Expert Interview. 20 November 2019.
• ↑ https://ideas.ted.com/how-to-give-a-eulogy-that-truly-celebrates-the-person-youre-honoring/
• ↑ https://humanists.uk/ceremonies/funerals/blog/how-to-deliver-a-eulogy-9-tips-from-a-celebrant/
• ↑ https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/write-deliver-eulogy/

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Death is a part of life, and so are the funerals and memorial services held to mark an individual’s passing. But when we’re called upon to speak at these occasions, many of us are at a loss for words. Here are some basic guidelines for writing a eulogy, from palliative specialist BJ Miller and writer Shoshana Berger.

When you leave a memorial or funeral having imagined the fullness of the person being memorialized, you know the speakers got it right. The first rule for eulogists is that this is not about them. It is about paying close attention to the way a person lived and drawing out the most meaningful, memorable bits.

Summing up a life in writing isn’t easy, but it’s an important exercise that serves a dual purpose. It obliges the writer to call up memories — which is a way to honor the person and process one’s loss — and it creates an atmosphere of deep community with other grievers. Do your best to be honest in your eulogy, instead of presenting some idealized portrait that others won’t recognize. Steve Schafer, a pastor who helps people write eulogies, offers the following guidelines.

• Aim for 1,000 words, or about six to seven minutes’ speaking time.

• Always write down what you’re going to say, even if you plan to abandon your notes. It’s a good way to gather your thoughts and make sure you’re not missing any important details.

• Be personal and conversational. This isn’t a formal speech; it’s an appreciation.

• If you aren’t introduced by the emcee or by another speaker, do so yourself and say what your relationship to the person was.

• Start with a story about the person. People come alive through specific anecdotes.

• Be humorous. The best eulogies are respectful and solemn, but they also give mourners some comic relief. A bit of roasting is fine if it suits who the person was and the family has a sense of humor.

• Close your eulogy by directly addressing the person who died, something like “Joe, thank you for teaching me how to be a good father.”

Here’s an example of a great eulogy, written by a woman for her grandmother. Before each section, we’ve explained what she’s done.

[Start with an introduction that paints a portrait of the person’s character. Beginning with your memories of the person is a great way to go. Try for descriptive details — the Almond Joy moment below — rather than broad, abstract statements such as “She was kind” or “She was a loving caretaker.”]

From my earliest memories, she is right by my side, taking me on walks through the miniature golf course near our house, dutifully preparing my odd lunch requests for cheddar and mayo sandwiches and sneaking me Almond Joy candy bars away from the gaze of my mom.

[Draw out important moments that signify lifelong connection.]

I was so close to my grandma that around the age of 23 I grew increasingly anxious that she might not live to attend my wedding unless I hurried up. Well … she did live to attend that wedding, and also to witness my first divorce, my second marriage, and to know and love my two children. She liked Jeff from the beginning and one day before we were engaged, she boldly told him, “Well, you better put a ring on it!” quoting Beyoncé without knowing the reference.

[Talk about advice passed down — values, sayings and anecdotes that capture the person.]

The most remarkable qualities about my grandma as she aged were her gratitude and her humility. She often told me to live for myself and not worry about her — to work, focus on my family, and come visit when I had time. She loved every minute of our visits but never pushed for more.

I once asked her if I should have a third child and she replied, “Why, honey? You already have the perfect family.” The most important things to my grandma were family and faith; she didn’t care for material possessions. In fact, she was known for giving items away because “there was someone who was more in need.” This selflessness and service for others leave a legacy that I will try to model for my children. Time with her family was the greatest gift and even with that, she was not greedy.

[Thank-yous to other family members who helped with caretaking.]

I am deeply thankful to our family who cared for, loved her, and relished spending time with my grammie as she aged. Knowing she had Adie to take her to church and lunch every Sunday punctuated her week with a joyful event she truly looked forward to. Dave and Aileen always arrived with a box of her favorites See’s Candies, essentially confirming the Pavlovian model as she began to drool as soon as they walked in the door. And to my mom, who cared for my grandma for the last 10 years of her life with compassion and unrivaled duty. I thank her not only for giving back to her mom, but for modeling care and respect for our elders.

[The eulogy goes on a bit longer and then ends with a closing quote, poem, reading, or other good-bye.]

“When my friends began to have babies and I came to comprehend the heroic labor it takes to keep one alive, the constant exhausting tending of a being who can do nothing and demands everything, I realized that my mother had done all of these things for me before I remembered. I was fed; I was washed; I was clothed; I was taught to speak and given a thousand other things, over and over again, hourly, daily, for years. She gave me everything before she gave me nothing.”

— Rebecca Solnit, from her book The Faraway Nearby

Excerpted from the new book A Beginner’s Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death by BJ Miller and Shoshana Berger. Copyright © 2019 by BJ Miller and Shoshana Berger. Reprinted by permission of Simon & Schuster, Inc, NY.

Watch his TED Talk now:

About the authors

BJ Miller, MD , practices and teaches palliative medicine in San Francisco. He has been profiled in The New York Times Magazine, interviewed on Super Soul Sunday, and speaks around the world.

Shoshana Berger is the editorial director of the global design firm IDEO. She was a senior editor at Wired magazine and the cofounder of ReadyMade magazine.

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How to give a eulogy speech

Speaking words of honour, respect and remembrance

How to give a eulogy speech without crying

A eulogy speech that draws on stories from the heart is easier to deliver because it relies less on reading and more on recollection. As a result, the speech shines with authenticity and makes for a memorable tribute, even when you’re not a professional speaker.

As for holding back the tears, share snapshots and anecdotes of positive times that make you and those listening draw on the energy of happy memories . 

Take heart from the eulogy video examples shown here.

Key points to remember are:

1. Relax and let your personality shine 2. Rehearse before the day of the funeral 3. Stand strong (hold the lectern if need be) 4. Speak so others can hear (adjust the microphone)

‘Funny and Wise’ Eulogy video

Delivering an engaging eulogy is easier than you think. You don’t even need to be a polished speaker. All anyone is expecting is honest and heartfelt.

‘Best Eulogy Ever’ video

In this video, a grandson eulogises his relationship with his grandfather. His candour and honesty are heartwarming.

Candid and unconventional eulogy video

Although the opening of this eulogy is unconventional and confronting, stay with it. In less than 3 minutes, a devoted wife honours her late husband by showing how unconditional marital love defined their relationship

Thank you for sharing on YouTube

  We are so grateful to all those who have bravely shared their most vulnerable moments on YouTube . By doing so, you’ve empowered others to face an audience and pay tribute to their departed loved one.

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Table of Contents

Feelings on Starting a Eulogy

Gather information and fond memories, choosing a theme or angle, understanding the purpose of a eulogy, opening the eulogy, writing tips and techniques, sample eulogy introduction, frequently asked questions.

Losing a loved one is never easy, and being tasked with delivering their eulogy is both an honour and a responsibility. It's natural to feel overwhelmed and unsure of how to begin. In this article, we will guide you through the process of starting off a eulogy, offering helpful tips and advice to ensure your tribute is a heartfelt and fitting celebration of your loved one's life.

It's normal to experience a wide range of emotions when preparing to deliver a eulogy. You may feel anxious, sad, or even intimidated by the task. Remember that it's okay to feel this way, and take comfort in knowing you're not alone. The key is to channel these emotions into creating a beautiful and genuine tribute to your loved one.

Before diving into the writing process, it's crucial to understand the purpose of a eulogy. A eulogy is a speech given at a funeral or memorial service that celebrates the life of the deceased. It's an opportunity to share stories, memories, and insights into the person's character and impact they had on others. Ultimately, a eulogy should provide comfort and help those in attendance remember the deceased fondly.

Begin by gathering information and memories about your loved one. Jot down key points in their life, including their accomplishments, hobbies, and any significant events that shaped who they were as a person. Speak with family members and friends to collect stories and memories that capture their essence. These anecdotes will form the foundation of your eulogy.

Need a Eulogy? Get a Personalized Professional Eulogy Written For Your Loved One

Writing a eulogy for a loved one you have just lost, can be both challenging and painful. Alongside the pressure of delivering a meaningful tribute in front of other funeral guests.

Let our expert Funeral Speech Writers create a heartfelt & personalized eulogy, that captures the amazing life and memories of your loved one.

Learn more about our Professional Eulogy Writing Service today, and see how we can help you.

A eulogy doesn't need to be a chronological retelling of a person's life. Consider choosing a theme or angle that showcases their unique qualities and impact on others. For example, if your loved one was a deeply compassionate person, consider sharing stories that exemplify their kindness and empathy.

When starting off your eulogy, it's important to create a strong and engaging opening that sets the tone for the speech. Consider these suggestions for opening your eulogy:

• Offer a brief introduction of yourself and your relation to the deceased.
• Express gratitude to those in attendance and acknowledge their support during this difficult time.
• Share a quote, poem, or piece of scripture that resonates with you and represents your loved one.
• Recall a fond memory or anecdote that encapsulates the person's character, providing a strong visual image for the audience.

As you craft your eulogy, keep the following tips and techniques in mind:

• Write from the heart and speak authentically. Your eulogy will be more meaningful if it reflects your genuine feelings for the deceased.
• Avoid using clichés or generic descriptions. Focus on the person's unique qualities and experiences.
• Keep your eulogy engaging by varying the tone. Balance humour with heartfelt sentiments, and include stories that evoke both laughter and tears.
• Use vivid descriptions and sensory details to paint a vivid picture of the person you're honouring.
• Provide context for your stories, explaining why these moments were significant or revealing of your loved one's character.
• End your eulogy by expressing your love and gratitude for the person, and inviting the audience to cherish their memories of them.

How Do You Start Off A Eulogy Example:

Hello everyone, my name is Jane, and I am honoured to be here today as we celebrate the life of my beloved aunt, Susan. I want to express my deepest gratitude to all of you for being here to remember her and support our family during this difficult time.

I'd like to start by sharing a poem that always reminds me of her:

Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there; I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow, I am the sun on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. - Mary Elizabeth Frye, "Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep"

This poem encapsulates Susan's love for nature and her unwavering presence in our lives, even after her passing. Today, I want to share some stories and memories that illustrate her extraordinary warmth, generosity, and zest for life.

What is a eulogy?

A eulogy is a speech or written tribute that is given at a funeral or memorial service to honor and remember the deceased. It typically includes personal anecdotes, accomplishments, and highlights the impact the individual had on their loved ones and community.

How do I start writing a eulogy?

To begin writing a eulogy, consider reflecting on your memories and the significant experiences you shared with the deceased. Start by jotting down notes, thoughts, and stories that stand out. These can form the foundation of your eulogy.

What should be included at the beginning of a eulogy?

The beginning of a eulogy should include an introduction of yourself and your relationship with the deceased, as well as a few words that express the purpose of the eulogy and set the tone for the tribute.

How long should a eulogy be?

A typical eulogy lasts between 5 to 10 minutes. However, the length can vary depending on the specific circumstances and the desires of the family. It's essential to cover what you feel is necessary while being considerate of the attendees' time.

Is humor appropriate in a eulogy?

Yes, humor can be appropriate in a eulogy if it reflects the personality of the deceased and is presented in a way that is respectful and affectionate. Tasteful humor can provide a moment of lightness and celebrate the joy the individual brought to others' lives.

What if I become too emotional while delivering the eulogy?

Becoming emotional during a eulogy is normal and understandable. If you feel overwhelmed, it's okay to pause, take a deep breath, or have a glass of water nearby. Some people find it helpful to have a backup plan, such as a close friend who can step in and finish reading the eulogy if needed.

Can I include religious or spiritual elements in a eulogy?

Yes, if it was meaningful to the deceased or their family, including religious or spiritual elements can be a comforting and appropriate aspect of a eulogy. It’s important to be aware of the beliefs and values of the audience and to approach this aspect with sensitivity.

How do I address difficult topics, such as addiction or conflict, in a eulogy?

When addressing difficult topics in a eulogy, it's crucial to speak with sensitivity and compassion. Focus on the positive aspects of the person’s life, and if necessary, acknowledge the challenges without dwelling on them. Always strive to speak from a place of love and respect.

Should I share personal stories in a eulogy?

Personal stories are often what make a eulogy heartfelt and memorable. They reveal the character and humanity of the deceased and can illustrate the meaningful impact they had on others.

How can I structure a eulogy?

A eulogy can be structured by starting with an introduction, followed by a biographical overview, personal stories or memories, the person's contributions and impact, and then a conclusion that includes words of goodbye or a final tribute.

What kind of tone should I aim for in a eulogy?

The tone of a eulogy should reflect both the essence of the deceased as well as the nature of the occasion. It is often a blend of solemnity, appreciation, warmth, and respect. The chosen tone should comfort the attendees while honoring the life that was lived.

How do I conclude a eulogy?

To conclude a eulogy, you can summarize the person's essence, reiterate the love and appreciation felt for them, offer words of farewell, and express gratitude for the impact they've had on lives around them. Ending with an uplifting or hopeful message can provide solace to the mourners.

What should I wear when delivering a eulogy?

When delivering a eulogy, wear attire that is respectful and appropriate for the occasion. This can range from formal wear to something more casual, depending on the setting and the wishes of the family.

Is it okay to deliver a eulogy from notes or should I memorize it?

It is entirely acceptable to deliver a eulogy from notes. This can help keep your thoughts organized and provide a sense of security. Memorizing a eulogy is not necessary and may add additional stress to an already emotional moment.

How do I personalize a eulogy for a colleague or distant relative?

To personalize a eulogy for someone with whom you were not closely acquainted, gather stories and insights from those who were close to them. Incorporate these shared memories and highlight their contributions and character in a way that reflects how they were viewed by their community and loved ones.

How do I involve other family members or friends in the eulogy?

You can involve others in the eulogy by asking for their stories, quotes, or messages they would like included. If they are comfortable, they might also take turns speaking or reading parts of the eulogy with you.

How should I prepare for delivering a eulogy?

To prepare, practice reading your eulogy aloud several times which can help with pacing and delivery. Make sure to also prepare emotionally, perhaps by sharing your remarks with a close friend or family member beforehand, and ensuring you have support around you during the service.

Can I use quotes or poetry in a eulogy?

Incorporating quotes or poetry that resonates with the spirit of the deceased or speaks to their life philosophy can add depth and texture to a eulogy. Just make sure the selections are meaningful and complement your message.

What if I don't feel qualified to write a eulogy?

If you don't feel qualified, remember that the most important aspect of a eulogy is the sincerity and love with which it is delivered. If you are struggling, consider enlisting the help of those who also knew the person well, or seek guidance from online resources or professionals such as funeral directors or clergy.

Is it appropriate to ask for feedback on a eulogy before the service?

Yes, it is advisable to ask for feedback, especially from close family members or friends who knew the deceased well. They can provide insights and ensure that your speech aligns with their memories and feelings.

How do I manage my nerves before delivering a eulogy?

To manage nerves, practice deep breathing, envision yourself speaking confidently, and remember the purpose of your speech—to honor someone you care about. It's also helpful to focus on the comfort your words will bring to others rather than on your performance.

As you embark on the journey of crafting your eulogy, remember the significance of the task at hand and take comfort in the opportunity to celebrate your loved one's life. By thoughtfully gathering memories and choosing a strong opening, you will create a beautiful tribute that honours their legacy. If you found this guide helpful, please share it with others and explore our other guides on Eulogy Assistant for further guidance and support.

Looking For Examples? Here Are Some of The Best Eulogies

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• Funeral Etiquette

How to End a Eulogy with Impact: 20+ Closing Lines

Updated 12/28/2023

Published 11/5/2019

Erin Coriell, BA in Mass Communication/Media Studies

End-of-life care educator and grief worker

Cake values integrity and transparency. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure .

When it comes to writing a eulogy , finding the right closing words can be the most challenging part. Typing the words might even feel like saying your final goodbye .

During the writing process, you may find yourself reminiscing about special memories, and putting them down on paper can become very therapeutic. When it’s time to write your closing remarks, though, you may be unsure what to say.

Feeling reluctant to end a eulogy is normal. It’s not easy to conclude something that celebrates the life of someone you love. We’ll share our best tips below, and f or more help with all of the complicated tasks you might be facing , check out our post-loss checklist .

Tip:  If you're hosting a  Zoom funeral  using a service like  GatheringUs , make sure to test your audio before the service, so both online and in-person guests can hear you clearly.

Jump ahead to these sections:

Use an inspirational quote.

• Inject Some Humor

Share Their Words

• Play a Song
• Share a Poem
• Be Spontaneous

Examples of Great Closing Lines for a Eulogy

• A Eulogy Isn’t Goodbye

Sometimes it’s easier to use someone else’s words to close your eulogy. Think of your loved one’s favorite writer or actor and research their quotes.

Using a quote for the ending will help relieve the pressure of “saying the right thing.” You can read a few quotes and invite the audience to reflect upon them.

After reading each quote, try to tie in your memory — or one to two sentences — explaining its relevance. It might seem relatively simple, but it’s a lovely way to conclude a eulogy.

Inject Some Humor 

Laughter can be the best medicine. If you have a funny story about your loved one, now is the time to share it. Funerals and memorials are often sad, but laughter is still appropriate.

Tell a funny story about your loved one and invite the audience to share a laugh. By laughing together, you can focus on the positive aspects of your loved one’s life.

Tip : Tell the story as if you’re having a conversation instead of reading from prepared remarks . Help yourself by only including reminders in your notes rather than the whole story.

You could jot down “a story about a camping trip” or “the first time eating a mango” to prompt you to tell the story organically. Imagine your loved one sitting in the audience, smiling and reminiscing.

If you're speaking during a virtual or online funeral , share some silly photos of the deceased with the online guests and provide commentary.

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Ending a eulogy with your loved one’s words can be quite meaningful.

You might share a letter or card they gave you or a recipe they wrote down. Saying their words aloud can be a beautiful way to celebrate their life.

If you’re sharing a letter they wrote to you, consider emphasizing the theme of the letter. Was there something they wanted you to know, or was it a “thinking of you” note? If you read a handwritten recipe, think about printing it for your family and friends. You could also share a video of them talking.

Play a Song 

Sometimes, you don’t have the words to end a eulogy. If that’s the case, consider playing a funeral song that illustrates the life of your loved one.

You might say something like, “It’s hard to find the right words to say about someone who impacted our lives. I’d like to play a song that captures the essence of [name] . ”

Music can mend , and when we listen to it together, a bit of magic unfolds. A quiet reflection of song lyrics can serve as a healing ending to a eulogy.

Tip: If your loved one was passionate about music or there are a lot of songs that remind you of them, you can create a playlist and share it with a Spotify gift card as a unique sympathy gift for someone else who was also close to the deceased.

Share a Poem 

For some people, writing a poem can serve as a way to express feelings. If you enjoy poetry, this could be an easier way to close your eulogy.

If writing isn’t your specialty, research poems and find one that speaks to you. It doesn’t have to be death - related. Find something that makes you think of your loved one.

Maybe focus on how they lived or what they stood for in this world. Or you could pick a poem that talks about life and love. Whatever you choose, a poem can be a moving close to your eulogy.

Be Spontaneous 

If writing an ending to a eulogy feels too daunting, consider speaking off the cuff. Trust that you can share beautiful memories of your loved one straight from your heart.

People don’t rehearse when they share stories around the dinner table — they’re present in the moment.

Permit yourself to express from your heart, unrehearsed. Some of the best speeches and eulogies are the ones that are genuine and not-so-polished.

Tip : Don’t push your emotions down . It’s natural to cry during a heartfelt share.

Need more inspiration? Feel free to borrow or modify these closing lines.

Ending a eulogy for a mother or father

Ending a eulogy for a father , a mother , or any parent can evoke a lot of emotions. Allow yourself to feel. Trust you will get through it. Here are suggestions on how you might close your speech:

• What a legacy, what a life. I invite you to keep my [dad/mom] alive in your hearts. We were each touched by their presence, and we are better off for it . Thank you for being here and making my [mom/dad’s] life so meaningful.
• [Mom/dad] , you will be missed greatly. I know your presence will always be with me. Thank you for being such an incredible role model and loving me unconditionally. I hope that I have made you proud.
• This is not goodbye. As many know, my [mom/dad] had very strong faith. They believed [insert belief]. I know they are at peace now. It’s our turn to live life to the fullest and keep their legacy alive.
• “Say not in grief ‘ [he/she] is no more’ but in thankfulness that [he/she] was.” — Hebrew p roverb. [Mom/dad] , I will continue to celebrate your life in all that I do. I am so grateful to have had you as a parent.

Ending a eulogy for a brother or sister

Outliving a sibling can bring difficult emotions to the surface. Here are some eulogy endings to help you convey your feelings without becoming overwhelmed :

• As I conclude this eulogy, I’d like to share one of my favorite funny stories about [name]. We laughed a lot together. I will miss the silly times we shared. They might not like that I’m telling this story, but it’s one of my favorites [share funny memories].
• My [sister/brother] loved the song [insert title]. We used to sing it together as kids. I want to play it in their honor.
• Out of all the [brothers/sisters] in the world, you were mine. It was an honor to be your sibling . I’ll miss our talks and silly adventures. But most of all, I will miss our friendship. Thank you for being my [brother/sister] and my friend.
• “Brothers and sisters are as close as hands and feet.” — Vietnamese proverb. Words can’t express how much I miss you. Thank you, [name], for being my best friend. You will always be a part of me.

Ending a eulogy for a friend

Saying our final goodbye in a eulogy for a friend isn’t easy. Speak from the heart and trust that what you say is enough. Consider these examples:

• [Name] always knew how to cheer me up and make me laugh. In closing, I’d like to share a few memories that still have me laughing to this day [share one to two memories]. 
• Everyone here is lucky to have known [name]. I know [name] is with us today and smiling at the beautiful memories we’ve shared. On behalf of my best friend, thank you.
• “True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.” — David Tyson. We shared a lot of moments of silence. I want to invite each of you to take a moment of quiet reflection in honor of [name].
• Of all the people in the world, you picked me as your best friend. I wear that title with honor and gratitude. It was wonderful having you in my life. Thank you for being my partner on this grand adventure we call life.

A Eulogy Isn’t Goodbye 

When people think of a eulogy, they imagine the final words spoken about their loved one. While it's a method we use to honor our loved ones, it is just the beginning of their legacy.

After death, we can still keep them close to our hearts by reflecting on memories or with a physical reminder like a custom urn  or  cremation diamond .

A eulogy is an invitation to ignite the memories of your loved one — and to keep their presence alive. Speak their name , tell your friends about them, and allow their memory to carry you.

Grief may grow , and that’s okay. Remind yourself that it’s a natural part of the process, and welcome it. Feel your emotions and reflect on the memories of your loved one. Use it as a way to celebrate them.

Though their physical body has died, they’ll continue to live on in your mind and heart. A eulogy isn’t a goodbye — i t’s a reminder of the impact they had on your life. By remembering, you keep the bond alive.

If you need more help, check out our guides on funeral quotes for a eulogy and how to start a eulogy .

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• Funerals & Memorial Services

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The Missouri teen who slipped into a coma after her head was mercilessly bashed into the pavement in a twisted after-school brawl has slowly begun the road to recovery — but has no recollection of the beating.

Kaylee Gain, 16, has “been able to engage in limited verbal conversations” in the week since she was moved out of the intensive care unit, her family announced Friday.

“Kaylee also recently began speech therapy, and has gone on a few short walks with the assistance of hospital staff as she is still unable to ambulate on her own,” attorney Bryan Kaemmerer, a spokesperson for Gains, said in a statement.

“However, Kaylee does not have any recollection of the altercation that led to her hospitalization.”

The small steps mark significant strides for the teenager, whose family initially thought she would never recover from the fight that led to brain bleeding and a skull fracture.

Chilling footage of the March 8 attack showed an unidentified girl pin Gains down before repeatedly striking her head on the concrete just blocks from Hazelwood East High School in Spanish Lake.

The 15-year-old bully was taken into custody and charged with assault.

The Gains family on Friday also accused the perpetrator of sharing a series of social media posts boasting about the violent attack — including jokes that the beatdown would qualify her to “join MMA or WWE.”

The alleged posts have since been taken down, they said.

“Given that Kaylee began visibly convulsing within seconds after the attack, the serious nature of Kaylee’s injuries should have been immediately apparent to the accused,” Kaemmerer said, adding that the posts indicate a “complete disregard for the well-being of a fellow human being and serves as further proof that the accused is an ongoing threat to the community.”

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Gain’s family — as well as Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey — have been pushing for the unnamed girl to be tried as an adult for the vicious crime.

The girl’s family defended the honor roll student , who they claimed had been “harassed and bullied” before the beatdown — a detail the Gains family said points as further proof that she knew the severity of her actions.

“If anything, the accused’s reported level of intelligence suggest that she was fully capable of understanding that violence of this nature would lead to the devastating injuries that Kaylee has sustained, and therefore provides a further reason why it is appropriate for her to be tried as an adult,” Kaemmerer said.

The full scope of the attack and the motive are still unclear.

Gain and another student were suspended the day prior for another altercation that did not result in any injuries, according to her family, who suggested the violent assault could have been in retaliation.

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'My husband died a hero': Deceased NYPD cop Jonathan Diller's wife Stephanie delivers emotional speech at his funeral

QUEENS, NEW YORK: Slain NYPD officer Jonathan Diller's wife Stephanie delivered a touching speech at his funeral on Saturday, March 30.

Jonathan Diller was fatally shot in Far Rockaway , close to John F Kennedy International Airport, on Monday, March 25, reportedly by the career criminal Guy Rivera.

Jonathan Diller received a police funeral with thousands of cops across the country lining up 

Diller received a police funeral at St Rose of Lima RC Church in Massapequa, on Long Island, that began at 10.30 am where Diller was posthumously promoted to detective first grade by Police Commissioner Edward Caban.

His casket, draped with the green and white NYPD flag, was taken into the church past a sea of uniformed officers, Daily Mail reported. 

Police report that Officer Diller, 31, and his partner were engaged in a traffic stop for an illegally parked car on the afternoon of Monday, March 25, when an individual in the vehicle brandished a firearm at the officers.

An exchange of gunfire ensued, during which Officer Diller was hit in the torso beneath his bullet-resistant vest. Diller was rushed to a local hospital, where he later died.

His coffin, once brought inside, was adorned with Catholic regalia and taken to the front of the church, followed by his wife Stephanie Diller, and their one-year-old son Ryan.

Jonathan Diller's wife Stephanie Diller made an emotional speech 

Mayor Eric Adams, PBA President Patrick Hendry, and Diller's wife, Stephanie, delivered their remarks.

Stephanie made a long and emotional speech and spoke with pride about her husband despite being on the verge of breaking into tears. 

She received a standing ovation when she came up to deliver the speech.

"He has always been a hero to Ryan and me, the rest of the world is just catching up" she said. Adding, "My husband died a hero, but he always lived as one."

Stephanie Diller recalled how Jonathan Diller fell asleep during an early date

Stephanie fondly recalled Diller as the mischievous youngest child who would pen heartfelt apology letters to his mother.

Their paths crossed after he graduated from maritime college, thanks to a blind date arranged by their mutual friend, Evan.

During one of their early dates, Diller dozed off in a movie theater, utterly exhausted from work.

"He was snoring so loudly people asked me to wake him up... but if you ask him, I was the one who fell asleep," Stephanie said.

"I quickly knew I had met the person I was going to marry... we could understand each other with a look," Stephanie continued, adding, "I looked for him whenever I entered a room and knew I belonged next to him."

Jonathan Diller was excited when his toddler spoke his first word: 'Dada'

Stephanie said she was nervous to walk down the aisle at their wedding until she saw him when the church doors opened.

"He looked at me like I was his whole world and always treated me like I was his whole world," she said. "He called us Batman and Robin, but he said I was Batman and he was Robin," she added.

Stephanie mentioned that Diller experienced a burst of joy whenever Ryan did something new, and he was especially thrilled that his first word was "dada."

She continued, "This is devastating senseless and tragic loss for the whole city." She added, "It breaks my heart that Ryan was robbed of being able to grow up with his dad."

Stephanie questioned, "How many more police officers and how many more families have to make the ultimate sacrifice before we start protecting them?"

"Rest in peace, Jonathan Diller, the man who captured my heart and now all of New York's," she concluded.