how to deal with a family member with a gambling problem

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If you suspect a loved one has a gambling addiction , whether they are a close friend, family member, spouse, or child, it’s crucial they get help. Gambling addiction, also known as a gambling disorder, problem gambling, or compulsive gambling, is a progressive disease that can affect all ages and genders. Like any addiction, a gambling disorder can create significant problems in a person’s life, affecting their job, relationships, and mental health. Sometimes the consequences of a gambling disorder are devastating.

Understanding Compulsive Gambling

Recognize the signs of problem gambling, how to talk to someone about gambling addiction, how to help someone addicted to gambling, how to help yourself, too, contact gateway foundation for help with a gambling problem.

Fortunately, a gambling disorder is treatable, and you can encourage your loved one to get the help they need. Although you can’t make your friend or family member change, your love, and support can go a long way toward helping them overcome addiction.

The first step to helping someone recover from gambling addiction is to learn more about the disorder and what it looks like. Understand the signs to look for and learn tips for helping your loved one get their life back.

Gambling disorders can slowly progress over time or develop as soon as someone places their first bet. As the disorder progresses, the person might gamble more often and bet higher amounts. The more they bet, the more they might lose and need to try to win back.

Not everyone who gambles develops an addiction, but some individuals are more vulnerable to the disorder than others. Although scientists don’t know the  exact cause of compulsive gambling , many different factors can contribute to the addiction, including biological, genetic, and environmental factors.

No matter the cause, it can be hard to understand why a loved one continues to gamble even though it causes problems. When someone has a gambling addiction, they cannot resist their urge, despite its negative consequences. This overwhelming desire to gamble can lead the person to deplete their savings, steal from friends and family , lie to those they love, and neglect their responsibilities.

As a result of their behavior, the person is left feeling stressed, depressed, guilty, angry, or anxious. They may believe that they can win back their losses if they gamble again or at least experience a temporary high. Once a person is addicted to gambling, it can be a hard cycle to break.

A gambling disorder is very similar to a substance use disorder. Like drugs or alcohol, gambling activates the brain’s reward system, leading someone to crave the activity repeatedly and develop an addiction. For some compulsive gamblers, gambling isn’t just about winning money . Instead, it provides an escape and a way to enter a “zone.”

Although a gambling disorder may not always show obvious signs, there are still ways to tell if your loved one needs help. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR), a person with a gambling disorder will show four or more of the following signs within 12 months:

• A need to gamble with an increasing amount of money to reach a desired level of excitement
• Restlessness, boredom, or irritability when trying to stop or reduce gambling
• Repeated attempts to stop, decrease or control gambling with no success
• A persistent preoccupation with gambling, which may appear as an inability to concentrate
• Gambling when feeling anxious, depressed, stressed, helpless, or guilty
• Returning to gambling after losing money to try to win back what was lost
• Lying about their spending to hide how involved they are with gambling
• Problems with jobs, relationships, financial responsibilities, or school due to gambling
• A reliance on others to solve financial problems caused by gambling

Since someone with a gambling problem might hide their behavior, you may not know how much of a problem they have. If you suspect they have an addiction, look for any signs that their physical health or financial situation has changed. For example, the person might appear more tired, withdrawn, or depressed if they put all of their energy and time into gambling and neglecting their physical needs. Or, they may ask you for loans for unexplained reasons.

It can be challenging knowing what to say to someone who’s having problems with gambling. Often, they might not even recognize their addiction or convince themselves they have everything under control when they don’t. If you’re worried about a loved one’s gambling issue, here’s how to approach the topic with them: 

• Let them know you care: When talking to someone about their gambling, it’s crucial that they know you are coming from a place of care. Speaking calmly and letting them know you are only bringing up the topic to help might make it more likely that they open up and talk honestly. That way, you can come up with a plan together.
• Avoid criticizing: It’s also essential that you are empathetic and understanding when discussing your loved one’s gambling. Avoid saying anything that might come across as critical to prevent confrontation or your loved one from shutting down. It’s also important not to interrupt, which may make them feel defensive. 
• Use “I” statements instead of “you”: Explaining how you feel might help your loved one lower their defenses so you can have an open discussion. Try to speak about yourself using “I” statements rather than “you” to avoid sounding accusatory. 

Before talking to your loved one, plan what you’ll say using the above advice. For instance, you might tell them you care about them and feel worried about their gambling. Let them know you love them and want to help in any way you can. Once you’ve started the conversation, be patient and listen to what they say without being judgmental. Keeping calm and empathetic without making excuses for their gambling is also crucial.

As someone close to a person with a gambling disorder, you may feel angry, hurt, or sad. Your feelings are understandable, and your loved one’s addiction is not your fault. Before you devote time and energy to helping your loved one, ensure you’re practicing self-care and addressing your own emotional needs. It’s easier to help another person when you’re feeling healthy yourself.

When you’re ready, here are tips for guiding your loved one toward an addiction-free path:

1. Talk to Them

Your loved one might be in denial about their problem, but you can help them recognize the seriousness of a gambling disorder simply by talking to them. Before you start a conversation, ensure you have a private, distraction-free space where you can meet with them. Also, be sure you’ll both have enough time to discuss each other’s concerns and issues. The person must have time to share their side of the story to feel comfortable opening up.

Here are tips for approaching your loved one and communicating your concerns based on your relationship:

• Spouse: Being married to someone who has a gambling disorder is extremely difficult, especially if you have joint accounts. If you wish to work on your marriage, it’s crucial to approach your spouse as soon as possible. Be ready to discuss how their addiction impacts your finances and urge them to get help. Let them know you’re serious and that you will no longer enable their behaviors.
• Parent:  If your mom or dad has a gambling addiction, you may feel as if you lost your parent in addition to worrying about their financial situation. Although it can be hard to talk to a parent about their spending habits, it’s OK to let them know you’re concerned. Assure them you want to help them seek treatment for their addiction, and consider asking to manage their bills.
• Child: As a parent, your approval or disapproval matters to your child, regardless if they are young or grown up. Talk honestly with your child about problem gambling and its consequences, and let them know you’ll help them find treatment. Remind your child that you still love them despite their addiction , and you’re there for them every step of the way.
• Friend: It can be painful to watch a close friend lose everything to gambling, and it might make you feel helpless. Your relationship might also be at stake if they’ve lied to you due to their addiction. If you think your friendship is worth keeping, meet with your friend to express your concerns and suggest they get help. Your honest words might be enough to encourage them to change.

Regardless of your relationship with the person, you might start the conversation by asking them if they think they have a problem with gambling. After they respond, tell them you’re concerned and explain why you’re worried. Aim to suggest a solution rather than tell them what to do. For example, you might ask them if they’re comfortable meeting with a counselor to address gambling.

2. Offer Your Support, Not Judgment

Assure your loved one that you fully support them with overcoming gambling addiction, and do your best not to sound judgmental. One way to avoid sounding judgmental is to start sentences with “I” rather than “you.” For example, you might say, “I’m concerned about your spending,” instead of, “You spend too much money.”

You could also tell the person directly that you will try not to judge them and ask them to let you know if you act judgmental. Be sure to ask them questions to show you want to understand what they’re going through and wish to help.

3. Explain the Consequences

Using a calm and objective tone, explain the social, financial, mental, and physical impacts of gambling. These may include:

• Debt or bankruptcy: It’s estimated that people with a gambling problem are three times as likely to report being in debt than those who don’t gamble. It’s also estimated that up to 20% of people who engage in problem gambling declare bankruptcy.
• Physical and mental health issues: Compulsive gambling is associated with a vast range of health issues , including heart conditions, high blood pressure, headaches, stomach disorders, and cardiac arrest. Gambling addiction is also associated with depression, anxiety, substance use disorder, and increased suicide risk.
• Relationship distress:  Of those concerned about a loved one’s addiction, 96% said that gambling harmed their relationship.

Explain to your loved one that uncontrolled gambling can also lead to stealing, lying, violence, and jail time.

4. Avoid Confrontation

If you’re feeling angry or hurt about your loved one’s gambling, wait until you feel calm to approach them. Your friend or family member might get defensive when you mention gambling, so it’s crucial to have control of your emotions before you start a conversation to avoid a fight.

If your loved one gets angry for bringing up the problem or refuses to talk about it, you may want to walk away. Let them know you’re available to talk when they’re ready and try to have the discussion again at a later time.

5. Be Patient With Them

Overcoming addiction takes time and effort. Your loved one may have underlying issues that need to be addressed before they can recover. They also need to feel ready to change, and this, too, may take some time.

Be patient with your loved one, and resist the urge to rush them through recovery. If you try to force them to make changes they aren’t yet ready for, they could become more stressed. They might gamble as a way to cope with this stress.

6. Introduce Activities to Replace Gambling

Many people gamble to relieve boredom, unwind after a stressful day, escape life’s problems, or socialize with others. Some people gamble in the hope of solving money issues. You can help your loved one replace gambling with positive activities by suggesting new ways to relax and overcome boredom. Here are a few ideas:

• Get an adrenaline rush: For some people, gambling is a way to feel excited. Suggest trying a challenging sport or hobby to provide an adrenaline rush without the need to gamble. Activities like rock climbing, zip lining, or mountain biking can all add excitement to life.
• Beat boredom: Encourage your loved one to pursue a new hobby or explore something they’ve always been passionate about. They might enjoy taking an art class, learning how to play an instrument, or joining a gym. You can also spend time with them to help them keep busy. Watch movies, try new recipes, or go for walks together.
• Socialize: If your loved one gambles as a way to socialize, suggest healthier alternatives. They might talk to a counselor for help overcoming shyness or join a local social group. Maybe they could take a public speaking class to help them conquer their fears.
• Relieve stress: There are many ways to relieve stress that don’t involve gambling, such as meditating, exercising, deep breathing, and journaling. Consider joining your friend or family member in a stress-relieving activity so you can both enjoy the benefits.
• Solve money problems: If the person gambles to solve money problems, suggest they meet with a credit counselor. Credit counselors are trained to help people manage money and debt.

7. Suggest Support Groups

A person with a gambling disorder might feel isolated, lonely, and misunderstood. By joining a support group, your loved one can share their fears, struggles, and dreams with people who understand what they’re going through in a safe environment. A support group also provides opportunities to learn effective coping strategies for dealing with triggers.

At Gateway Foundation, we offer 12-step meetings , group therapy, alumni events, and other resources to ensure our patients never feel alone with addiction — during and after treatment.

8. Recommend Professional Help

To get someone help with gambling, familiarize yourself with the various treatments available and encourage your loved one to talk to a professional. A mental health professional can apply proven therapies to help the person change their beliefs about gambling and teach them how to cope with stress and other difficult emotions in a healthy way. They can also treat any underlying mental health issues that contribute to addiction. Common treatments for a gambling disorder include:

• Motivational interviewing: If your loved one isn’t sure if they’re ready to change,  motivational interviewing  might help. With motivational interviewing, a counselor works with the person to explore their uncertainty and find reasons to recover. This counseling technique can help your loved one identify the most important things in their life that they aren’t willing to risk losing.
• Cognitive behavioral therapy: Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a popular form of talk therapy. With CBT, the counselor helps the patient change unhealthy thoughts, behaviors, and irrational beliefs related to gambling. They also teach the patient how to resist an urge to gamble and deal with triggers. CBT can help a person solve problems caused by gambling, including issues with relationships, school, and work, as well.
• Medication:  Compulsive gambling often  co-occurs with mental health problems like depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). If your loved one is experiencing a co-occurring disorder, medications like antidepressants and mood stabilizers can help decrease the urge to gamble.

Gambling addiction is hard on family and friends as well. It’s crucial that you care for yourself during this time and set healthy boundaries if you are close to someone with a gambling addiction. Here are some tips for taking care of yourself and your family: 

1. Don’t Blame Yourself 

First, you must know you are not to blame for your loved one’s addiction. The only person in control of the situation is the person who gambles, and it’s impossible to stop or control their habits. However, you can take charge by changing your own situation. Care for yourself while gently encouraging your loved one to get help. Support them, but don’t take on their burden. Gambling can cause relationship strain, and attempting to control the situation can impact your mental health.

2. Protect Your Finances

Gambling can impact your finances, making it crucial to protect yourself and avoid debt. If you have a partner with gambling problems, you can set financial boundaries with the following steps:

• Set a family budget.
• Carefully track family spending.
• Manage family finances until the gambling is under control.
• Agree on the amount of cash your partner can have so they aren’t tempted to gamble.
• Open separate bank accounts.
• Open bank accounts that require signatures for withdrawals.
• Put valuables in a safety deposit.
• Remove your name from shared credit cards.
• Cancel overdrafts on bank accounts.

It’s also helpful to get legal advice to understand your rights in your relationship. Think carefully before offering to help someone financially and keep valuables and cash out of sight. 

3. Take Care of Your Health

When someone close to you is addicted to gambling, it can place immense strain on the relationship. While your partner is likely faced with strong emotions like stress, depression, and grief, it’s crucial to recognize how addiction can also impact your health. 

Eating a healthy diet and getting regular sleep and exercise can improve physical and mental health. Exercising releases natural feel-good hormones like dopamine and endorphins, which can combat depression . At the same time, getting at least six to eight hours of sleep a night can improve your well-being and resilience to stress.

You might work on your mental health through meditation, yoga, or deep breathing. These activities can help you identify your stress and accept your emotions without judgment, promoting better mental health. 

4. Focus on Your Family

Gambling addiction also places stress on families. If your partner is dealing with a gambling problem, take the time to focus on your family. Let your children know they can turn to you if they feel confused, angry, depressed, or isolated. While they may not express their feelings, parents that engage in harmful gambling behavior can have a significant impact on their children.

In extreme cases, gambling can lead to financial problems, causing children not to have enough to eat or be neglected. Older children might be tasked with more mature responsibilities, like caring for younger children. Addiction can also lead to children witnessing family arguments, tension, family violence, or breakdown — all of which can immensely impact their mental health. 

To support your children emotionally, encourage them to discuss their feelings when they are ready to do so. Let them know they are not responsible and try to keep them engaged in family activities and their favorite hobbies. Acknowledge that their parent’s gambling behavior is the problem, not the person themselves. That way, you can reduce confusion and promote emotional balance in the family.

5. Set Healthy Boundaries 

Often, the best way to help a gambler and yourself is by establishing healthy boundaries. Learn how to communicate your limits and stick to them when things get tough in your relationship. Here are some examples that families and spouses might consider with gambling issues:

• Financial: It’s crucial that you don’t pay off a gambling debt or lend the person money. Setting this boundary can prevent you from enabling the behavior or causing financial harm to your family. You might also set up separate bank accounts and request transparency with spending.
• Emotional: You might request that the gambler find a professional or trusted friend to talk to besides you when you need to prioritize self-care. 
• Gambling: It makes sense that you might no longer join the person in gambling or accommodate them when they have urges. For example, that might involve not sharing your laptop or driving them to the casino. You can also prevent enabling by avoiding places that remind them of their gambling when you spend time with them. 
• Relational: In a close relationship, you might request more honesty from the gambler or negotiate an equal balance regarding housework and financial responsibilities. You might also physically distance yourself from the relationship or step away temporarily if things become too stressful.

6. Reach Out for Support

People close to problem gamblers can often feel isolated, making it helpful to seek support from trusted friends or go to a professional. You might attend family counseling sessions where you can speak openly with family members and get support from one another. Counseling and self-help groups might help you make crucial decisions for your relationship and family. They can also help with feelings like sadness, anxiety, and anger.

Building a support system and spending time with others can relieve stress. You won’t need to discuss your concerns if you don’t want to. You might just rely on friends when you need a distraction from the stress and to prevent yourself from getting consumed by your loved one’s gambling. Maintain your friendships, continue your interests, and participate in fun activities to care for your mental and emotional health.

Overcoming a gambling addiction is hard work, but there are reasons to be hopeful. With your love and support, you can help your friend, spouse or family member feel ready to overcome a gambling disorder and start anew. Plus, you don’t need to support them alone. At Gateway Foundation, we can guide you and your loved one through every step of their recovery and provide long-term support.

If you’re concerned about a treatment program interfering with your loved one’s job or responsibilities at home, know that we offer flexible outpatient services . With outpatient treatment, your loved one can receive motivational interviewing , CBT, and other counseling methods to meet their needs. Our goal is to help our patients heal and get back on track without giving up their lives.

If your family member, spouse, or friend requires 24/7 support, we also offer residential treatment programs  at our locations in Illinois . Not sure what your friend or family member needs? We can help you determine the best level of care for your loved one. Please contact us today to learn more about our programs and services for gambling disorders.

Reviewed by:

Gateway Foundation

Gateway Foundation is a recognized leader in evidence-based addiction treatment proven to get results. Our experts in Addiction Medicine—including highly educated clinical and medical professionals and expert psychiatrists and nurses—deliver care that never stops. For over 50 years, Gateway Foundation has been helping individuals and their families recover from addictions and behavioral health issues and is the only provider that covers the entire state of Illinois with 16 facilities from the Wisconsin Border to the Kentucky Border. Gateway has specific programs focusing on substance use disorders, trauma, depression, anxiety, and other co-occurring issues. We’re licensed by the state of Illinois and accredited by the Joint Commission. We are in-network with all the major commercial insurance plans. Gateway Foundation: Addiction medicine, saving lives.

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Supporting Families and Friends of a Loved One with Gambling Problems: A Provider’s Guide

Gambling-related problems can lead to financial, social, emotional, occupational, and physical harms. These harms can impact more than just the gambler, causing a ripple effect throughout their social network. In particular, the consequences of problem gambling can impact the gambler’s family, intimate partners, and close friends. As a provider, it is important to be aware of what your clients might experience when they have a loved one experiencing gambling-related problems.

• Gambling-related problems can lead to conflict among the family including: heightened anger, low levels of clear communication and support, lack of direct expressions of feeling, isolation and disengagement in social and recreational activities, and decreased independence.
• Financial consequences of gambling might include a loss of money, property, savings, or belongings that could put the family into a financial crisis or hardship, including homelessness.
• It is common for family members and loved ones of an individual with gambling problems to feel anger, betrayal, or fear. Increased stress and worry can lead to physical and mental health problems for the gambler’s loved ones, including anxiety and depression.
• Gambling problems have been associated with intimate partner violence and family violence.
• Children of a parent with gambling problems are at higher risk of developing gambling-related difficulties later in life.

Provide Hope and Reassurance

Loved ones of an individual experiencing gambling problems might experience negative emotions, such as anger, fear, confusion, guilt, and hopelessness. As a clinician, you can provide them a message of hope and reassurance.

• Let the individual know that they did not create this situation. Remind them that they did not cause their loved one’s gambling-related problems.
• Reassure the individual that complicated feelings about their loved one’s gambling-related problems are common.
• Remind the individual that many others have been through similar experiences and have recovered from gambling problems to lead happier lives.
• If their loved one has relapsed recently, remind them that recovery is an ongoing process and relapse is a normal part of this journey.
• Listen carefully and give them an opportunity to talk about how their loved one’s gambling-related problems have impacted them.

Encourage Social Support and Connection with Healthy Others

Social support can help individuals deal with their emotions and navigate through their loved one’s gambling-related problems.

• The individual might benefit from connecting with others who have similar experiences. This can help them feel heard and understood. Gam-Anon is a community of mutual support groups for loved ones of individuals experiencing difficulties with gambling and obstacles with recovery.
• Massachusetts residents can call the Massachusetts Problem Gambling Helpline at (800) 327-5050 or visit their website to find local support, resources, and information for themselves or their loved one experiencing gambling-related problems: gambling.helplinema.org/pg-search
• United States residents can call the National Problem Gambling Helpline at 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) or visit their website to find local support, resources, and information for themselves or their loved one experiencing gambling-related problems: ncpgambling.org/help-treatment/help-by-state/
• Recommend the individual identify people that they trust, such as a clinician, friend from Gam-Anon, family or friends, who they would feel comfortable talking to about their situation. Encourage the individual to reach out to these trusted persons for support when they are feeling overwhelmed or stressed.

Promote Self Care

When dealing with a loved one’s addiction, it can be easy to put their needs above your own. Loved ones of the individual with gambling problems might need help and encouragement taking care of themselves. As a healthcare provider, you can remind them to engage in self care. Examples of self care include:

• Practice relaxation skills such as meditation and mindfulness.
• Identify and manage emotions through self-reflection or journaling.
• Avoid isolation by seeking out family, friends, or social support groups and recovery networks.
• Spend time doing enjoyable things, such as a hobby.
• Practice gratitude by reminding yourself about the things for which you are grateful.
• Take time to exercise regularly: a 20-minute walk can have significant benefits.
• Focus on positivity and positive self-talk.

Suggest They Check Their Finances

Gambling problems can lead to financial crises and hardship for family members and loved ones who share finances with the person experiencing problem gambling. Individuals with gambling problems often need resources to begin managing their finances. A plan for financial assets is useful to avoid financial losses.

• Personal Financial Strategies for the Loved Ones of Problem Gamblers is an important booklet for those whose finances might have been impacted by someone else’s gambling.
• MyFinancialLifeMA.org can help people learn about managing credit and debt, how to budget and save, and more.

Provide Guidance about Supporting Their Loved One

The family members and friends might wonder how they can best support their loved one experiencing problem gambling. There are some dos and don’ts that you can recommend they follow.

• Only talk to your loved one about your concerns with their gambling – if you feel ready. This discussion should take place in a private location where neither the loved one or the gambler are under the influence of psychoactive substances or while gambling. Be prepared to share specific examples of behaviors that have you concerned and why.
• Do not blame, attack, or insult the individual experiencing gambling problems. Despite the anger you might feel, do not heighten your loved one’s feelings of anger or denial about having a problem. Remember, the gambler is not responsible for developing a gambling problem; they are responsible, however, for their recovery. Approach your loved one with compassion and understanding.
• Focus on how you can best help your loved one. Ask them about their needs. Offer to be there to listen to them if they want to talk to you or support them as they look for help.
• Come to the conversation with referral and treatment options and other self-help resources or books for your loved one. Do not be discouraged if they are not ready to seek help. However, do encourage them to participate in a recovery program despite their doubts.

Encourage Them To Learn More

The loved ones of an individual experiencing problem gambling might have questions, such as “how can gambling become an addiction?”. Encourage them to be informed and learn more about problem gambling through up-to-date resources and information. The Division on Addiction’s website is a good place to direct loved ones to for free information, educational materials, and other resources about problem gambling and other expressions of addiction.

Compulsive gambling

On this page, coping and support, preparing for your appointment.

If you recognize that you may have a problem with gambling, talk with your health care provider about an evaluation or seek help from a mental health professional.

To evaluate your problem with gambling, your health care provider or mental health provider will likely:

• Ask questions related to your gambling habits. Your provider may also ask for permission to speak with family members or friends. However, confidentiality laws prevent your provider from giving out any information about you without your consent.
• Review your medical information. Some drugs can have a rare side effect that results in compulsive behaviors, including gambling, in some people. A physical exam may identify problems with your health that are sometimes associated with compulsive gambling.
• Do a mental health assessment. This assessment includes questions about your symptoms, thoughts, feelings and behavior patterns related to your gambling. Depending on your signs and symptoms, you may be evaluated for mental health disorders that are sometimes related to excessive gambling.

Treating compulsive gambling can be challenging. That's partly because most people have a hard time admitting they have a problem. Yet a major part of treatment is working on acknowledging that you're a compulsive gambler.

If your family or your employer pressured you into therapy, you may find yourself resisting treatment. But treating a gambling problem can help you regain a sense of control — and possibly help heal damaged relationships or finances.

Treatment for compulsive gambling may include these approaches:

• Therapy. Behavioral therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy may be helpful. Behavioral therapy uses a process of exposure to the behavior you want to unlearn and teaches you skills to reduce your urge to gamble. Cognitive behavioral therapy focuses on identifying unhealthy, irrational and negative beliefs and replacing them with healthy, positive ones. Family therapy also may be helpful.
• Medications. Antidepressants and mood stabilizers may help treat problems that often go along with compulsive gambling — such as bipolar disorder, depression or anxiety. Some antidepressants may be effective in reducing gambling behavior. Medications called narcotic antagonists, useful in treating substance misuse, may help treat compulsive gambling.
• Self-help groups. Some people find that talking with others who have a gambling problem may be a helpful part of treatment. Ask your health care provider or mental health provider for advice on self-help groups, such as Gamblers Anonymous and other resources.

Treatment for compulsive gambling may involve an outpatient program, inpatient program or a residential treatment program, depending on your needs and resources. Self-help treatments such as structured internet-based programs and telephone visits with a mental health professional may be an option for some people.

Treatment for substance misuse, depression, anxiety or any other mental health issue may be part of your treatment plan for compulsive gambling.

Relapse prevention

Even with treatment, you may return to gambling, especially if you spend time with people who gamble or you're in gambling settings. If you feel that you'll start gambling again, contact your mental health provider or sponsor right away to prevent a relapse.

More Information

• Cognitive behavioral therapy
• Psychotherapy

These recovery skills may help you to resist the urges of compulsive gambling

• Stay focused on your No. 1 goal: Not to gamble.
• Tell yourself it's too risky to gamble at all. One bet typically leads to another and another.
• Give yourself permission to ask for help, as sheer willpower isn't enough to overcome compulsive gambling. Ask a family member or friend to encourage you to follow your treatment plan.
• Recognize and then avoid situations that trigger your urge to bet.

Family members of people with a compulsive gambling problem may benefit from counseling, even if the gambler is unwilling to participate in therapy.

If you've decided to seek help for compulsive gambling, you've taken an important first step.

What you can do

Before your appointment, make a list of:

• All the feelings you're experiencing, even if they seem unrelated to your problem. Note what triggers your gambling, whether you've tried to resist the urge to gamble and the effect that gambling has had on your life.
• Key personal information, including any major stresses or recent life changes.
• All medications, vitamins, herbs or other supplements that you're taking, including the dosages.
• Other physical or mental health problems that you have and any treatments.
• Questions to ask your provider to make the most of your appointment time.

Questions to ask may include:

• What's the best approach to my gambling problem?
• What are other options to the primary approach that you're suggesting?
• Should I see a psychiatrist, psychologist, addiction counselor or other mental health professional?
• Will my insurance cover seeing these professionals?
• Can I get help as an outpatient or would I need inpatient treatment?
• Are there any brochures or other printed material that I can have?
• What websites do you recommend?

Don't hesitate to ask any other questions during your appointment.

What to expect from your doctor

Your health care provider or mental health provider will likely ask you several questions, such as:

• When did your gambling first start?
• How often do you gamble?
• How has gambling affected your life?
• Are your friends or family members worried about your gambling?
• When you gamble, how much do you typically put on the line?
• Have you tried to quit on your own? What happened when you did?
• Have you ever been treated for a gambling problem?
• Are you ready to get the treatment needed for your gambling problem?

To make the most of your appointment time, be ready to answer these questions and to provide an accurate picture of your gambling issues.

Jun 18, 2022

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• About us. Gamblers Anonymous. https://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/node/1. Accessed April 4, 2022.
• Oei TPS, et al. Effectiveness of a self help cognitive behavioural treatment program for problem gamblers: A randomized controlled trial. Journal of Gambling Studies. 2018; doi:10.1007/s10899-017-9723-1.
• Hall-Flavin DK (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic. April 26, 2022.
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When Your Partner Has a Gambling Addiction

How to help, and protect your and your family's finances..

Posted March 23, 2021 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

• What Is Addiction?
• Find a therapist to overcome addiction
• Gambling addiction can destroy a family. The addict will consume any and all resources, from retirement to children's 529 accounts.
• Protect yourself from the fallout by reviewing account statements and tax returns, and documenting the problem.
• Options for further protection include post-nuptial agreement and divorce .

Marital problems can be difficult if not impossible to navigate unless both parties have a baseline of trust. Addictions often shatter that trust to such an extent that the marriage cannot be salvaged.

In my family and matrimonial law practice, I regularly work with clients who are exiting marriages due to unresolvable fissures in trust. Marriages fall apart for many reasons, including extramarital affairs, mental health disorders including narcissistic personality disorder , and struggles with addictive behaviors. I often deal with marital issues that arise from substance abuse addictions including alcohol or drug addiction — including addiction to pain medications. However, addictions come in many forms.

Gambling addiction is an often overlooked and less commonplace addiction, but like many addictive behaviors, it can ruin a relationship and break apart a family.

Not only can a gambling addiction break the trust and bond of a couple, but it can destroy the family's finances. A study reported by the North American Foundation for Gambling Addiction Help suggested more than 10 million people in the U.S. have a gambling problem.

I have represented many spouses married to gamblers. Sadly, the gambler will stop at nothing to acquire whatever finances they can in order to satisfy their compulsion to gamble. They can and will decimate the entire family fortune, like a tornado that rips through buildings. The gambler will find money to gamble anywhere, including your bank accounts, retirement accounts, brokerage accounts, and even your children’s 529 accounts. There is no end unless you end it. Nothing is sacred as the need to gamble is too great.

And while you want to do everything you can to assist your spouse or ex-spouse in getting help to get their addiction under control, you also need to batten down the hatches and safeguard the family finances before it is too late. Substantial resources can be lost. And like many addictions, the person needs to admit they need help before the addictive behavior can be brought under control. (See "Resources" below.)

According to Stacy Francis, founder of Francis Financial , and non-profit, Savvy Ladies , a 501 (c) (3) dedicated to helping women achieve financial independence, “Pathological gamblers do not make good partners, and their spouse and children pay the price of the gambling habit. Compulsive gamblers will sometimes hide their debts from family and friends, leaving the family financially devastated. If you are concerned that your spouse has an unhealthy relationship with gambling, you must seek advice from a professional sooner rather than later.”

All of this said, there are ways you can legally protect yourself and your family’s finances.

Document everything and seek help as soon as you can

How soon you seek professional help can be the deciding factor between ending up with shared debt or saving yourself and preserving your financial freedom.

Collect financial information from as far back into your relationship as you can, certainly since the addiction seems to have begun.

This should include bank statements, retirement account statements, 529 accounts, credit card statements, mortgage statements, and tax returns. Start to analyze the documents, looking for charges that are not recognizable and withdrawals or loans from your bank, investment and retirement accounts. Ask your spouse about these withdrawals and/or charges and while staying calm, think about whether the explanations make sense. Is there a sudden shortage of monies even though you are both earning sufficient funds to pay the bills and save?

You might need to show documentation and evidence of the behavior in custody or financial divorce litigation. Retain an attorney and a financial professional as soon as you discover that monies are being gambled away. If you wait, it could be too late.

Consider a postnuptial agreement

If you have decided to remain married or are not yet ready to file for divorce, you have the option of entering into a postnuptial agreement with your spouse, delineating and dividing assets and income during and in the event of a divorce and/or the death of either you or your spouse. A postnuptial agreement is similar in concept to a prenuptial agreement but is executed during the marriage instead of prior to the marriage.

Most importantly, you can protect your assets and future income from a gambling spouse by separating your finances and the termination of joint credit cards, joint accounts, and the pooling of income. You can also make provisions to recover an equitable portion of the monies spent down on the addiction. Make sure that your joint tax returns were filed timely. I have seen many gamblers and other spouses who are guilty of marital waste utilize the monies that belong to Uncle Sam to support their addictions. In the event that monies are owed to the government, you must make sure that the postnuptial agreement addresses these tax issues.

Ask for a divorce

If, on the other hand, you have determined that it is best to divorce, you can commence a divorce action.

Typically, the period between filing for divorce and the signing of the final settlement agreement will take many months—and in more complex matters, years.

During that time, both spouses are required to file detailed “financial affidavits” with the court, attesting under oath to their expenses and individual finances in a document known as a Statement of Net Worth, which ultimately forms the basis for setting child support, alimony payments and equitable distribution of assets and liabilities.

Tell your attorney about gambling concerns immediately

While a divorce action is pending, it is critical to maintain the financial status quo, and it is also imperative to protect assets and income if one spouse has a gambling addiction or other out-of-control spending problem. It is also critical to account for the marital waste that resulted from the addiction so that assets can be equitably divided.

If you are already working with an attorney, let your attorney know of your specific concerns immediately. You may want to show your attorney recent credit card statements, bank account statements and provide specific documentation illustrating your concerns. Your attorney can file a Summons with Notice. That generally sets a date to value the assets and liabilities and should in most cases end the spending down of marital assets.

The date of commencement of your divorce action sets a date to determine assets (brokerage accounts, retirement assets, banking and savings accounts) and liabilities (credit card balances and Home Equity Lines of Credit, etc.).

If you cannot accomplish this in a timely way, you must make clear to your spouse, in writing, that spending from any joint account is not allowed as of a certain date, or that expenses must be capped at an agreed-upon dollar amount. While a letter is not a substitute for restraining orders, it does indicate that you are not condoning the spending down of assets.

Enlist the help of a mental health professional and a financial advisor

In addition to working with an attorney, it may also be helpful to work with a mental health professional to address some of these issues with your spouse. Moreover, it may be very useful to speak with a financial advisor to plan for your future.

And as I always say, it is most important to make the safety and mental health of yourself and your children a priority during this incredibly difficult time.

Reach out through the Gambling Anonymous hotline.

Savvy Ladies brings financial guidance to women and offers a free financial helpline , where highly experienced Certified Financial Planner volunteers are available for a confidential phone call and eager to advise women about their personal financial situation.

There are many resources out there that can provide women with the right steps to exit their current environment and lead them to a secure financial future.

Note: This post is not intended to serve as legal or mental health advice. Each situation is unique. Please reach out to a local therapist or attorney to address your issues specifically.

Lisa Zeiderman is a Managing Partner of the law firm Miller Zeiderman, LLP., who focuses her law practice solely in matrimonial and family law.

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What to Do If Someone You Care About Has a Gambling Addiction

If you do nothing, you may pay a heavy price.

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The prevalence of casinos and ease of gambling on online sports betting sites could cause more people to become gamblers than in the past.

If you have a family member or a friend with a gambling problem  – and you ignore it – you're making a risky bet. Particularly if that person is heavily involved in your life, since his or her financial problems could more easily become your own.

Gambling, as you likely know, is often treated as a brain disease by doctors. That's appropriate, because while the desire to bet can't be transmitted to you from a gambler, the consequences of gambling can sure spread like a devastating virus. If your spouse loses his or her house or retirement to gambling losses, odds are, you've just lost yours, too .

The signs of problem gambling. Some red flags are so obvious that they hardly seem worth mentioning, like when your friend or family member disappears into a casino for days at a time. But the problem with problem gambling is that with the advent of technology, the signs have become more subtle, says Joe Schrank, who runs The Williamsburg House, a sober living facility in New York City, which treats addicts for everything from gambling to alcohol and drugs.

And unfortunately, gambling often goes hand-in-hand with other addictions, especially alcohol.

"I've done a lot of interventions, and I've never seen one without the gambler having a drink in their hand," Schrank says. "If you think about it, there's a reason casinos bring people drinks when they're playing. That's not hospitality; that's by design, and it has a pay-off. It's a pretty minor investment by the casinos. You're much more likely to bet more when you're drinking."

The culture is changing and evolving, too, Schrank points out. Fantasy football is a billion dollar business, according to some estimates, and there's plenty of betting on basketball.

And the prevalence of casinos likely causes more people to become gamblers than in the past, Schrank says, adding, "You used to have to wait for a three day weekend, and you'd book a flight to Las Vegas. Now all you have to do is drive down the road to the riverfront casino or the Indian-owned casino."

But back to technology. "Online sports betting sites have really changed the landscape for gambling, and that's actually the case for a lot of addictions," Schrank says. "A generation ago, if you were going to become addicted to pornography, people had to go to a theater in a seedy part of the city. Now, you just look at your phone all day, and nobody knows. Accessibility has changed everything, and it's the same with gambling."

In other words, you could have a family member or friend betting online 24/7, and you would never know until the signs became obvious. Still, there probably are some subtle clues to look for.

"With any addiction, erratic behavior is always a red flag," Schrank says. "When words don't match actions, and when every excuse for doing or not doing something has a story."

Save yourself first. If you've been talking to a loved one about his or her gambling problem and how it's affecting your finances, but you're getting nowhere, you need to protect yourself first, even if you're worried about damaging your relationship.

Remember the rule about putting the oxygen mask on yourself first in an airplane? You get the air, so you can then help your kid get a mask on – as opposed to passing out before you can help your child, who then passes out, too. You need to protect yourself before more damage can be done. It'll be harder to help a gambler if you've just lost your house, say.

So what can you do to protect yourself?

Michael Chadwick, a certified financial planner from Unionville, Connecticut, suggests that if your husband or wife is gambling, lock your credit . "This way no more credit can be taken out in your name," he says.

It isn't ideal, Chadwick says. Your credit and finances are kind of in a limbo. "But this will limit the collateral damage if it gets out of hand," he says.

Mike Brady agrees. Brady is the founder and president of Generosity Wealth Management in Boulder, Colorado, and says that when he was working for another firm in the early 2000s, one of his clients was a problem gambler, although his downfall was investments and not the slot machines. Brady's client frequently was investing day and night, routinely seeing his and his wife's investments fall and rise, hundreds of thousands of dollars at a time (trending downward more often than not.)

The client was aware of his problem and was OK with his wife putting controls on his spending, which helped. But if you're not so lucky and are married to or living with a gambler, Brady has some suggestions.

1. Open up a new credit card and/or bank account in your name only. If you don't tell your spouse, it won't be a secret for long, if your bank is sending you mail to your home, Brady points out. That said, many banks will, if you ask, have your debit or credit card sent to your branch, where you can pick it up. What's more, banks prefer it when you opt out of paper statements.

2. Be on the lookout for assets the gambler can convert into cash. It's scary to think about, but if your family member is finding that their money and credit are drying up due to whatever protective steps you've taken, desperation could set in.

"Whatever you have that you don't want sold, you could put it in a safe-deposit box or pay for one of those self-storage things," Brady says.

3. Remember your investments. If it's your spouse doing the gambling, versus an adult child or parent or family friend, think about your 401(k). Your kids' college savings accounts. Any account that has his or her name on it.

"Now is the time to think about them and whether you can make them inaccessible," Brady says.

You may not be able to do much, if your spouse isn't cooperative and willing, to say, have their name removed from an account, but if you're contributing money to either account, this may be the time to start putting it into another vehicle. If you have a financial advisor , this is the time to set up an appointment.

Because any damage your gambling partner creates with your name attached to it can't be undone. So if your spouse maxed out credit cards at a casino, and your name is on them, that's money you owe, too.

 "What has happened up to today, we can't take back," Brady says.

Get help – or get out. You can't and shouldn't endure the consequences of a loved one's gambling forever. Even if the steps you must take are complex.

"Everything that I've said isn't easy," Brady says. "Especially if you're doing it behind their back."

But that may be the only way you can get someone's attention, Brady says. His client's wife sat down her husband and gave him an ultimatum: get divorced or give her full control and final say over 95 percent of their investments. He could have the other 5 percent to invest as he wanted.

"She said, 'You get 5 percent or 100 percent of me walking out the door,'" Brady says.

Schrank agrees. "When people see the writing on the wall, they often do something about it," he says, adding that treatment can help. "People do get better," he says.

But you can't enable a gambler – or ever feel guilty for putting yourself first.

"It's self-preservation," Schrank says. "You have to let a gambler know that you can't go down with them, and you won't help them go down."

Tags: gambling , credit cards , credit scores , credit , addiction

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Peer Support Resources

Peer support involves individuals who have faced similar challenges offering assistance, guidance, and understanding to those currently dealing with gambling-related issues. These support options can be valuable in the recovery process as they provide a sense of connection, empathy and shared experience.

The National Problem Gambling Helpline (1-800-GAMBLER) is available via call, text or chat and can provide detailed information regarding treatment resources available in your area.

Gamblers Anonymous

Gamblers Anonymous (GA) is a fellowship of men and women who have come together to help themselves and others recover from a gambling problem. GA meetings provide a safe and confidential space for individuals to share their experiences, strengths and hope. Members support each other in their efforts to quit gambling and stay abstinent.

Gam-Anon is a support group program designed to help the family members, friends and loved ones of individuals who are struggling with gambling addiction or problem gambling. Gam-Anon can be a valuable resource for those seeking guidance, understanding and a sense of community as they navigate the challenges associated with a loved one’s gambling problem.

SMART Recovery

SMART Recovery is a science-based, self-help organization and support group program designed to assist individuals in overcoming addiction and addictive behaviors. The acronym “SMART” stands for “Self-Management and Recovery Training,” which reflects the program’s emphasis on empowering individuals to take control of their recovery journey. SMART Recovery is popular among those who may not resonate with the spiritual or 12-step aspects of traditional recovery programs.

An online support forum for individuals dealing with problem gambling or gambling addiction. It provides a platform for people to share their experiences, offer support to one another and seek advice on how to overcome gambling-related challenges.

Debtors Anonymous

Debtors Anonymous (DA) is a 12-step fellowship and support group program designed to help individuals who are struggling with significant debt, overspending and financial issues. DA follows a similar structure to other 12-step programs but focuses specifically on addressing the emotional, behavioral and practical aspects of debt and financial problems.

While peer support can be a valuable component of recovery, professional treatment may also be necessary. Problem gambling can have serious financial, emotional and psychological consequences, and some individuals may require professional treatment to effectively address these concerns. Peer support can complement formal treatment options and help individuals stay connected in their recovery journey.

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What is gambling addiction and problem gambling?

Gambling addiction signs and symptoms, self-help for gambling problems, how to stop gambling for good, dealing with gambling cravings, gambling addiction treatment, how to help someone stop gambling.

• Do's and don'ts for partners of problem gamblers

Gambling Addiction and Problem Gambling

Are you or a loved one dealing with a gambling problem? Explore the warning signs and symptoms and learn how to stop.

Gambling problems can happen to anyone from any walk of life. Your gambling goes from a fun, harmless diversion to an unhealthy obsession with serious consequences. Whether you bet on sports, scratch cards, roulette, poker, or slots—in a casino, at the track, or online—a gambling problem can strain your relationships, interfere with work, and lead to financial disaster. You may even do things you never thought you would, like running up huge debts or even stealing money to gamble.

Gambling addiction—also known as  pathological gambling, compulsive gambling  or gambling disorder —is an impulse-control disorder. If you’re a compulsive gambler, you can’t control the impulse to gamble, even when it has negative consequences for you or your loved ones. You’ll gamble whether you’re up or down, broke or flush, and you’ll keep gambling regardless of the consequences—even when you know that the odds are against you or you can’t afford to lose.

Of course, you can also have a gambling problem without being totally out of control. Problem gambling  is any gambling behavior that disrupts your life. If you’re preoccupied with gambling, spending more and more time and money on it, chasing losses, or gambling despite serious consequences in your life, you have a gambling problem.

A gambling addiction or problem is often associated with other behavior or mood disorders. Many problem gamblers also suffer with substance abuse issues, unmanaged ADHD, stress, depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder. To overcome your gambling problems, you’ll also need to address these and any other underlying causes as well.

Although it may feel like you’re powerless to stop gambling, there are plenty of things you can do to overcome the problem, repair your relationships and finances, and finally regain control of your life. The first step is to separate the myths from the facts about gambling problems:

Myths and Facts about Gambling Problems

You have to gamble every day to be a problem gambler.

A problem gambler may gamble frequently or infrequently. Gambling is a problem if it causes problems.

Problem gambling is not really a problem if the gambler can afford it.

Problems caused by excessive gambling are not just financial. Too much time spent on gambling can also lead to relationship and legal problems, job loss, mental health problems including depression and anxiety, and even suicide.

Having a gambling problem is just a case of being weak-willed, irresponsible, or unintelligent.

Gambling problems affect people of all levels of intelligence and all backgrounds. Previously responsible and strong-willed people are just as likely to develop a gambling problem as anyone else.

Partners of problem gamblers often drive their loved ones to gamble.

Problem gamblers often try to rationalize their behavior. Blaming others is one way to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, including what is needed to overcome the problem.

If a problem gambler builds up a debt, you should help them take care of it.

Quick fix solutions may appear to be the right thing to do. However, bailing the gambler out of debt may actually make matters worse by enabling their gambling problems to continue.

Gambling addiction is sometimes referred to as a “hidden illness” because there are no obvious physical signs or symptoms like there are in drug or alcohol addiction. Problem gamblers also typically deny or minimize the problem—even to themselves. However, you may have a gambling problem if you:

Feel the need to be secretive about your gambling. You might gamble in secret or lie about how much you gamble, feeling others won’t understand or that you will surprise them with a big win.

Have trouble controlling your gambling. Once you start gambling, can you walk away? Or are you compelled to gamble until you’ve spent your last dollar, upping your bets in a bid to win lost money back?

Gamble even when you don’t have the money. You may gamble until you’ve spent your last dollar, and then move on to money you don’t have—money to pay bills, credit cards, or things for your children. You may feel pushed to borrow, sell, or even steal things for gambling money.

Have family and friends worried about you. Denial keeps problem gambling going. If friends and family are worried, listen to them carefully. It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help. Many older gamblers are reluctant to reach out to their adult children if they’ve gambled away their inheritance, but it’s never too late to make changes for the better.

Speak to a Licensed Therapist

BetterHelp is an online therapy service that matches you to licensed, accredited therapists who can help with depression, anxiety, relationships, and more. Take the assessment and get matched with a therapist in as little as 48 hours.

The biggest step to overcoming a gambling addiction is realizing that you have a problem. It takes tremendous strength and courage to own up to this, especially if you have lost a lot of money and strained or broken relationships along the way. Don’t despair, and don’t try to go it alone. Many others have been in your shoes and have been able to break the habit and rebuild their lives. You can, too.

Learn to relieve unpleasant feelings in healthier ways. Do you gamble when you’re lonely or bored? Or after a stressful day at work or following an argument with your spouse? Gambling may be a way to self-soothe unpleasant emotions, unwind, or socialize. But there are healthier and more effective ways of managing your moods and relieving boredom, such as exercising, spending time with friends who don’t gamble, taking up new hobbies, or practicing relaxation techniques .

Strengthen your support network. It’s tough to battle any addiction without support, so reach out to friends and family. If your support network is limited, there are ways to make new friends without relying on visiting casinos or gambling online. Try reaching out to colleagues at work, joining a sports team or book club, enrolling in an education class, or volunteering for a good cause.

Join a peer support group. Gamblers Anonymous, for example, is a 12-step recovery program patterned after Alcoholics Anonymous. A key part of the program is finding a sponsor, a former gambler who has experience remaining free from addiction and can provide you invaluable guidance and support.

[Read: Support Groups: Types, Benefits, and What to Expect]

Seek help for underlying mood disorders. Depression , stress , substance abuse , or anxiety can both trigger gambling problems and be made worse by compulsive gambling. Even when gambling is no longer a part of your life, these problems will still remain, so it’s important to address them.

For many problem gamblers, it’s not quitting gambling that’s the biggest challenge, but rather staying in recovery—making a permanent commitment to stay away from gambling. The Internet has made gambling far more accessible and, therefore, harder for recovering addicts to avoid relapse. Online casinos and bookmakers are open all day, every day for anyone with a smartphone or access to a computer. But maintaining recovery from gambling addiction or problem gambling is still possible if you surround yourself with people to whom you’re accountable, avoid tempting environments and websites, give up control of your finances (at least at first), and find healthier activities to replace gambling in your life.

Making healthier choices

One way to stop gambling is to remove the elements necessary for gambling to occur in your life and replace them with healthier choices. The four elements needed for gambling to continue are:

A decision: For gambling to happen, you need to make the decision to gamble. If you have an urge: stop what you are doing and call someone, think about the consequences to your actions, tell yourself to stop thinking about gambling, and find something else to do immediately.

Money: Gambling cannot occur without money. Get rid of your credit cards, let someone else be in charge of your money, have the bank make automatic payments for you, close online betting accounts, and keep only a limited amount of cash on you.

Time: Even online gambling cannot occur if you don’t have the time. Schedule enjoyable recreational time for yourself that has nothing to do with gambling. If you’re gambling on your smartphone, find other ways to fill the quiet moments during your day.

A game: Without a game or activity to bet on there is no opportunity to gamble. Don’t put yourself in tempting environments. Tell gambling establishments you frequent that you have a gambling problem and ask them to restrict you from entering. Remove gambling apps and block gambling sites on your smartphone and computer.

Finding alternatives to gambling

Maintaining recovery from gambling addiction depends a lot on finding alternative behaviors you can substitute for gambling. Some examples include:

Feeling the urge to gamble is normal, but as you build healthier choices and a strong support network, resisting cravings will become easier. When a gambling craving strikes:

Avoid isolation. Call a trusted family member, meet a friend for coffee, or go to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting.

Postpone gambling. Tell yourself that you’ll wait 5 minutes, fifteen minutes, or an hour. As you wait, the urge to gamble may pass or become weak enough to resist.

Visualize what will happen if you give in to the urge to gamble. Think about how you’ll feel after all your money is gone and you’ve disappointed yourself and your family again.

Distract yourself with another activity , such as going to the gym, watching a movie, or practicing a relaxation exercise for gambling cravings.

Coping with lapses

If you aren’t able to resist the gambling craving, don’t be too hard on yourself or use it as an excuse to give up. Overcoming a gambling addiction is a tough process. You may slip from time to time; the important thing is to learn from your mistakes and continue working towards recovery.

Overcoming a gambling problem is never easy and seeking professional treatment doesn’t mean that you’re weak in some way or can’t handle your problems. But it’s important to remember that every gambler is unique so you need a recovery program tailored specifically to your needs and situation. Talk to your doctor or mental health professional about different treatment options, including:

Inpatient or residential treatment and rehab programs . These are aimed at those with severe gambling addiction who are unable to avoid gambling without round-the-clock support.

Treatment for underlying conditions contributing to your compulsive gambling, including substance abuse or mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, OCD, or ADHD. This could include therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes. Problem gambling can sometimes be a symptom of bipolar disorder , so your doctor or therapist may need to rule this out before making a diagnosis.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy. CBT for gambling addiction focuses on changing unhealthy gambling behaviors and thoughts, such as rationalizations and false beliefs. It can also teach you how to fight gambling urges and solve financial, work, and relationship problems caused by problem gambling. Therapy can provide you with the tools for coping with your addiction that will last a lifetime.

Family therapy and marriage, career, and credit counseling. These can help you work through the specific issues that have been created by your problem gambling and lay the foundation for repairing your relationships and finances .

If your loved one has a gambling problem, you likely have many conflicting emotions. You may have spent a lot of time and energy trying to keep your loved one from gambling or having to cover for them. At the same time, you might be furious at your loved one for gambling again and tired of trying to keep up the charade. Your loved one may have borrowed or even stolen money with no way to pay it back. They may have sold family possessions or run up huge debts on joint credit cards.

While compulsive and problem gamblers need the support of their family and friends to help them in their struggle to stop gambling, the decision to quit has to be theirs. As much as you may want to, and as hard as it is seeing the effects, you cannot make someone stop gambling. However, you can encourage them to seek help, support them in their efforts, protect yourself, and take any talk of suicide seriously.

Preventing suicide in problem gamblers

When faced with the consequences of their actions, problem gamblers can suffer a crushing drop in self-esteem. This is one reason why there is a high rate of suicide among compulsive gamblers.

If you suspect your loved one is feeling suicidal, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the U.S. at 1-800-273-8255 or visit Befrienders Worldwide to find a suicide helpline in your country.

Four tips for family members:

• Start by helping yourself. You have a right to protect yourself emotionally and financially. Don’t blame yourself for the gambler’s problems or let his or her addiction dominate your life. Ignoring your own needs can be a recipe for burnout .
• Don’t go it alone. It can feel so overwhelming coping with a loved one’s gambling addiction that it may seem easier to rationalize their requests “this one last time.” Or you might feel ashamed, feeling like you are the only one who has problems like this. Reaching out for support will make you realize that many families have struggled with this problem.
• Set boundaries in managing money. To ensure the gambler stays accountable and to prevent relapse, consider taking over the family finances. However, this does not mean you are responsible for micromanaging the problem gambler’s impulses to gamble. Your first responsibilities are to ensure that your own finances and credit are not at risk.
• Consider how you will handle requests for money. Problem gamblers often become very good at asking for money, either directly or indirectly. They may use pleading, manipulation, or even threats to get it. It takes practice to ensure you are not enabling your loved one’s gambling addiction.

Do’s and don’ts for partners of problem gamblers

• Talk to your partner about their problem gambling and its consequences when you’re calm and not stressed or angry.
• Look for support. Self-help groups for families of problem gamblers, such as Gam-Anon, for example, can introduce you to people who’ve faced the same obstacles.
• Explain to your partner that you’re seeking help because of how their gambling affects you and the family.
• Talk to your children about your partner’s problem gambling.
• Take over management of your family finances, carefully monitoring bank and credit card statements.
• Encourage and support your loved one during treatment of their gambling problem, even though it may be a long process peppered with setbacks.

Don’t…

• Lose your temper, preach, lecture, or issue threats and ultimatums that you’re unable to follow through on.
• Overlook your partner’s positive qualities.
• Prevent your partner from participating in family life and activities.
• Expect your partner’s recovery from problem gambling to be smooth or easy. Even when their gambling stops, other underlying problems may surface.
• Bail your partner out of debt or enable their gambling in any way.
• Cover-up or deny your partner’s problem to yourself or others.

Hotlines and support groups

The National Council on Problem Gambling Helpline  offers a confidential, 24-hour helpline for problem gamblers or their family members at 1-800-522-4700.

Gamcare  offers support and a helpline at 0808 8020 133.

Gambling Help Online  offers a 24-hour helpline at 1800 858 858.

Centre for Addiction and Mental Health  offers resources and a helpline at 1-866-531-2600.

Gamblers Anonymous  offers 12-step support meetings for people with a gambling problem, while  Gam-Anon  offers support for the problem gambler’s family members.

More Information

• Freedom from Problem Gambling - Self-help workbook for compulsive gamblers, with tips on how to avoid relapse and fight gambling urges. (UCLA Gambling Studies Program)
• Problem Gamblers and their Finances - Guide for treatment professionals on how to help a problem gambler cope with financial problems. (National Endowment for Financial Education)
• Personal Financial Strategies for the Loved Ones of Problem Gamblers - How to deal with financial issues due to a loved one’s gambling. (National Council on Problem Gambling)
• Substance-Related and Addictive Disorders. (2013). In Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders . American Psychiatric Association. Link
• Yau, Y. H. C., & Potenza, M. N. (2015). Gambling Disorder and Other Behavioral Addictions: Recognition and Treatment. Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 23(2), 134–146. Link
• Ford, M., & Håkansson, A. (2020). Problem gambling, associations with comorbid health conditions, substance use, and behavioural addictions: Opportunities for pathways to treatment. PLOS ONE, 15(1), e0227644. Link
• Ioannidis, K., Hook, R., Wickham, K., Grant, J. E., & Chamberlain, S. R. (2019). Impulsivity in Gambling Disorder and problem gambling: A meta-analysis. Neuropsychopharmacology, 44(8), 1354–1361. Link
• Wardle, H., & McManus, S. (2021). Suicidality and gambling among young adults in Great Britain: Results from a cross-sectional online survey. The Lancet. Public Health, 6(1), e39–e49. Link

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Understanding Gambling Addiction

• Steps to Getting Treatment
• Stopping a Gambling Addiction

Gambling disorder (also called gambling addiction) is characterized by repeated, problem gambling behavior that leads to problems for the individual and their loved ones. Approximately 1% of the population currently has a gambling disorder. Some common symptoms of gambling disorder include not stopping or controlling gambling, lying about gambling, being preoccupied with gambling, and spending excessive amounts of time gambling.

Gambling disorder can cause problems with mental and physical health, relationships, finances, and more. Treatment options for gambling disorder include counseling, medications, and support groups.

This article will discuss what gambling addiction is, symptoms of gambling addiction, causes and risk factors for gambling addiction, effects of gambling addiction, treatment for gambling addiction, and coping through gambling addiction treatment.

andresr / Getty Images

Defining Gambling Addiction

To meet the criteria for a diagnosis of gambling disorder, at least four of the following must have occurred during the past year and caused significant distress:

• Needing to gamble increasingly high monetary amounts to achieve the desired excitement.
• Repeated unsuccessful attempts to cut back on, control, or stop gambling.
• Restlessness or irritability when trying to cut down on or stop gambling.
• Frequently gambling when feeling distressed.
• Frequently thinking about gambling (such as reliving past gambling or planning future gambling).
• Often "chasing one's losses" (i.e., returning to "get even" after losing money gambling).
• Risking or losing a job, school or job opportunity, or close relationship because of gambling.
• Lying to hide gambling activity.
• Relying on others for help with money problems stemming from gambling.

Symptoms of gambling disorder can subside for periods and return.

Gambling problems can develop quickly or over many years. Gambling activities also occur along the following continuum:

• No gambling : People who never gamble
• Casual social gambling : The most common type of gambling. Buying an occasional lottery ticket, occasionally visiting a casino for entertainment, etc.
• Serious social gambling : Regular gambling, and gambling as a primary form of entertainment, but does not harm work or personal relationships.
• Harmful involvement : Gambling that leads to difficulties with personal, work, and social relationships.
• Pathological gambling : Gambling seriously harms all aspects of the person's life, and they are unable to control the urge to gamble despite the harm it is causing.

Typical Symptoms 

Symptoms of gambling disorder can vary, but may include:

• Lying about gambling behavior
• Gambling more than you can afford to lose
• Obsessive preoccupation with gambling (excessively thinking about it even when not in the act of gambling)
• Stopping doing things you previously enjoyed
• Ignoring self-care, school, work, or family tasks
• Withdrawing from friends and family
• Missing family events
• Changes in patterns of eating, sleeping, or sex
• Regular lateness for school or work
• Increased alcohol or drug use
• Decreased willingness to spend money on things other than gambling
• Having conflicts with others over money
• Having legal problems related to gambling
• Neglecting your children's needs and welfare (such as leaving them alone, or neglecting their basic care)
• Frequently borrowing money or asking for salary advances
• Cheating or stealing to obtain money for gambling or paying debts
• Taking a second job, without a change in finances
• Cashing in assets such as savings accounts, RRSPs, or insurance plans
• Alternating between being broke and flashing money
• Organizing staff pools
• Leaving for long, unexplained periods
• Feeling anxious
• Having difficulty paying attention
• Having mood swings and sudden bursts of anger
• Feeling bored or restless
• Feeling depressed or having suicidal ideation

Suicide Prevention Hotline

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the  National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  at  988  for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call  911 . For more mental health resources, see our  National Helpline Database .

Traits and Signs In Others 

Gambling addiction can be hard to recognize, especially since signs often remain hidden until they become severe, such as a dire financial situation.

If you notice symptoms of gambling disorder, such as those mentioned above, in a friend or family member and want to talk to them about it, there are ways to approach it:

• Prepare yourself for many possible reactions from them, including anger and denial.
• Manage your expectations (don't expect them to quit right away; it can take time).
• Be honest when sharing your concerns.
• Remember that stopping their gambling behavior is their responsibility, not yours (you are there for support).
• Don't preach or lecture.
• Remain calm and keep control of your anger.
• Recognize their good qualities.
• Seek support from others in similar situations (such as a self-help group for families, like Gam-Anon).
• Let them know how the gambling is affecting you and, if applicable, the children or other family members.
• If you share finances, set boundaries in managing money (review bank and credit card statements, take control of family finances, etc.).

Causes, Triggers, and Risk Factors

Problem gambling stems from a psychological principle called Variable Ratio Reinforcement Schedule (VRRS). With VRRS, mood-stimulating rewards are variable and unpredictable. This can cause someone to gamble compulsively.

Adolescents and young adults are particularly vulnerable to the adverse effects of gambling compared to adults. This may be linked to their stage of brain development, with decision-making and impulse-control skills still developing.

Some factors that may contribute to problem gambling behaviors in adolescents and young adults include:

• Increased availability and access to gambling activities without supervision or physical proximity to a gambling venue (through online gambling)
• Gambling as a coping mechanism for stress and anxiety (including previously experienced trauma, abuse, or neglect, and problems with mental health)
• Family history of gambling or addiction
• Peer pressure
• High number of risk behaviors in other areas (such as alcohol and drug use)
• Problems with decision-making and impulse control
• Exposure to gambling (such as "loot boxes") or simulated gambling (such as slot machines using virtual money or points) through video games
• Seeing parents, siblings, or other family members engage in gambling

Gambling disorder can begin at any age. Males are more likely to start at an earlier age, while females are more likely to start later in life.

Some factors that can contribute to the development of (or difficulty stopping) gambling problems include:

• Having easy access to gambling
• Having an early big win, creating an expectation of future wins
• Holding erroneous beliefs about the odds of winning
• Not taking steps to monitor gambling wins and losses
• Having a history of mental health problems, especially depression and anxiety
• Often feeling bored or lonely
• Having a history of risk-taking or impulsive behavior
• Having self-esteem tied to gambling wins or losses
• Having recently had a loss or change, such as job loss, divorce, retirement, or the death of a loved one

Types of Games Associated With Gambling

Gambling activities can include:

• Casino table games
• Electronic gaming machines (such as slot machines and poker machines)
• Horse racing
• Internet gambling sites
• Charitable raffles

All forms of gambling have the potential to be addictive. But ones that are rapid, have immediate large payouts (such as slot machines), involve betting small amounts to win a huge jackpot, or allow you to place multiple bets at one time tend to be at higher risk for addiction.

Effects of Gambling Addiction

Gambling disorder can have far-reaching effects, and cause problems in a number of areas.

Self-Esteem and Mental Health

Problem gambling has been associated with mental health conditions and considerations, such as:

• Increased negative mood states
• Elevated stress levels
• Feelings of helplessness
• Changes in personality or mood
• Increased drug or alcohol use
• Bipolar disorder
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
• Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
• Increased risk of suicide

While gambling disorder may not cause these conditions, it can exacerbate the symptoms and effects associated with them.

Relationships

Gambling disorder can cause people to withdraw from friends and family. Behaviors associated with gambling disorder, such as asking to borrow money, lying, stealing, and not fulfilling responsibilities, can lead to conflict with others. These factors and others can strain personal relationships.

Financial losses are not necessary for a person to have gambling disorder, but they often occur.

People who have gambling disorder may experience financial issues such as:

• Credit card debt and other debts
• Lower credit scores
• Denial of mortgages and loans
• Unpaid bills
• Lack of money for food and other essentials
• Regularly borrowing money

Some people with gambling disorder reach a point they begin selling household items or stealing.

Loss of Time and Productivity

When gambling prioritizes a person's time and becomes a mental preoccupation, it can lead to a loss of productivity at work, school, home, or in other areas.

Physical Health

Gambling disorder, and the stress that comes with it, can lead to health problems such as:

• Sleep disturbances and deprivation
• Poor hygiene and self-care
• Stomach or bowel issues
• Overeating or loss of appetite

A Word From Verywell

If your loved one seems increasingly preoccupied by gambling, is withdrawing from other areas of their life, or is noticing negative consequences to their finances, work, or relationships, it could be a sign that this is something to pay closer attention to.

Steps to Get Gambling Addiction Treatment

Treatment for gambling disorder usually involves counseling, and often support groups. In some cases, medication may also be helpful.

Counseling and Psychotherapy

Counseling and forms of psychotherapy (talk therapy) are first-line approaches to gambling disorder treatment. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is the most common and frequently studied form of treatment for gambling disorder.

CBT helps people with gambling disorder to identify damaging thought patterns and behavior and modify them into more productive patterns.

CBT for gambling can include components such as:

• Correcting cognitive distortions about gambling
• Developing problem-solving skills
• Learning social skills
• Learning relapse prevention

Other forms of therapy that may be used include:

• Psychodynamic therapy
• Group therapy
• Family therapy

Counseling can help you:

• Deal with gambling urges
• Manage stress and handle other problems
• Gain control over your gambling
• Heal family relationships
• Maintain recovery
• Avoid triggers

Family members affected by a loved one's gambling may also benefit from counseling. Financial counseling can be helpful for those in need of financial recovery and management.

Medications

While there are no U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA)-approved medications for treating gambling disorders, medications that treat co-occurring conditions which can make gambling behavior worse, such as depression or anxiety , can be helpful.

Currently, medications are being studied for their potential in treating gambling disorder, particularly in reducing urges and cravings for gambling. Certain opioid antagonists have been found in randomized trials to be more successful than placebo in the treatment of gambling disorder.

More research is needed to determine if medications can be effectively used as a primary treatment for gambling disorder.

Support Groups

Some people with gambling disorder find peer support through groups such as Gamblers Anonymous to be helpful.

Gamblers Anonymous is a 12-step program in which participants attend meetings, share experiences, and offer each other support as they abstain from gambling.

Gambling Therapy is another organization, similar to Gamblers Anonymous, that offers online support groups to people with gambling disorder and their families.

Support groups are not a substitute for professional treatment.

How to Stop a Gambling Addiction

The first step to stopping gambling addiction is recognizing the problem . Once you realize you have a problem with gambling, it's time to reach out for help.

You can start by contacting your healthcare provider, a mental healthcare professional, or support groups and resources for gambling disorder. From there, you can be put in touch with the programs and resources you will need to start your recovery.

Resources and Support 

Places to find resources and support for gambling disorder include:

• Gamblers Anonymous
• National Council on Problem Gambling
• National Problem Gambling Helpline
• Gambling Therapy

Coping Through Gambling Addiction Treatment

Getting professional help for gambling addiction is paramount, but there are strategies you can use at home to help you cope while you go through treatment.

Give yourself actionable, realistic short and long-term goals to help you stay focused.

Distract Yourself

Keep yourself busy with other activities, and look for alternative ways to fill the time you used to spend gambling.

Practice Relaxation

Activities such as yoga , physical activity, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation, can help foster relaxation.

Avoid High-Risk Situations and Triggers

Stay away from gaming venues, avoid carrying cash and credit cards, or anything else that makes you more tempted to gamble . Some gambling venues and apps have options for you to have yourself voluntarily banned from using their services.

Contact Your Supports

Talk to friends and family, or other people you trust. Or go to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting.

Gambling disorder is associated with a number of symptoms, such as being excessively preoccupied with gambling, intense cravings to gamble, and gambling more than you can afford to lose. Gambling disorder can cause problems with relationships, mental and physical health, finances, productivity, and more. Treatments for gambling disorder include counseling, support groups, and medication.

American Psychiatric Association. Gambling disorder .

American Psychiatric Association. What is gambling disorder?

Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. Problem gambling .

Yale Medicine. Gambling disorder .

ConnexOntario. Five signs you may have a gambling problem .

ConnexOntario. Signs your loved one has a gambling addiction .

Gateway Foundation. How to help someone you know that has a gambling problem .

Rizzo A, La Rosa VL, Commodari E, et al. Wanna bet? Investigating the factors related to adolescent and young adult gambling . EJIHPE. 2023;13(10):2202-2213. doi:10.3390/ejihpe13100155

American Psychological Association. How gambling affects the brain and who is most vulnerable to addiction .

University of California, Los Angeles. Gambling addiction can cause psychological, physiological health challenges .

Healthdirect. Gambling addiction .

University of Nevada. Gambling addiction: Resources, statistics, and hotlines .

Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Treatment recommendations for gambling disorders .

Better Help. Gambling - how to regain control .

By Heather Jones Jones is a freelance writer with a strong focus on health, parenting, disability, and feminism.

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• Harms to family members and friends

This article is being personalised for someone supporting someone else with a lived experience of gambling. If that is not you, can always change the audience type below:

I am here because:

Have you been harmed by a family member or friend’s gambling.

Gambling issues can have a significant impact not only on the person who gambles but also on their family members and friends. When a family member or friend has an issue with their gambling, it can lead to financial problems, emotional stress, and strain on relationships.

It can be tough to have a relationship with someone who has an issue with their gambling, especially when you don’t know how to help them. But recognising how their gambling is affecting your life can help you understand what’s going on and deal with the difficulties that come with it. This understanding can help you set limits, get support from others, and take care of your own wellbeing. It will help you figure out what to do next so that you can take care of yourself first. This will make it easier for you to support your family member or friend in their recovery.

Are you concerned about the harms of someone’s gambling on their family members and friends?

Gambling doesn’t only impact the person who gambles. It can also impact their family members and friends, who typically provide essential care and support to their loved ones.

Having a relationship with someone experiencing gambling harm can be tough, particularly when you don’t know how to help them. Recognising how another person’s gambling affects your life can help you decide what steps to take next.

Professionals often come across people who have been harmed by the gambling of a family member or friend. You are in an excellent position to identify and help these people. Recognising how the gambling might affect them can help you decide what steps you should take next.

What is gambling harm?

Gambling-related harm is defined as:

Any initial or exacerbated adverse consequence due to an engagement with gambling that leads to a reduction in the health or wellbeing of an individual, family unit, community or population. - Erika Langham et al

It’s not just partners or spouses who can be harmed by someone else’s gambling. Children, parents, grandparents, friends, neighbours, and workmates are also harmed by someone else’s gambling. Recent research shows that for every person experiencing gambling harm, an average of six people close to them are also affected. Even the gambling of people with lower severity issues can affect family members and friends.

The 2019-2020 national gambling study shows that around 6% of Australian adults report they have experienced at least one harm resulting from another person’s gambling in the previous year.

The harms from gambling can vary from person to person. Some people might not be affected at all, while others might experience severe harm. Sometimes, these harms reach a crisis point, which is when family members or friends usually start to think about making changes or getting help. These are called crisis harms.

Serious harm caused by gambling can have a long-lasting impact that affects future generations. These are known as legacy harms. For example, if a parent loses a lot of money gambling, their children might be affected by poverty for a long time. People who grow up with an adult in their home who has an issue with their gambling are also more likely to develop harmful gambling. When parents gamble and spend a lot of time away from their families, their children may feel neglected and may have trouble forming strong bonds with their parents, which can make them more likely to develop gambling problems in the future. This means that harms can continue to occur, or emerge, in family members or friends, even after the gambling is under control. This can be hard for people who gamble because family members and friends may find out about the gambling at the same time as they are seeking help or getting their gambling under control.

How can gambling harm family members and friends?

When you think about the negative effects of gambling on family members or friends, you might first think about financial problems or relationship difficulties. However, gambling can affect almost every part of their lives. A recent Conceptual Framework of Gambling Related Harm outlines seven domains of harm for family members or friends that can be caused by gambling. In this framework, financial harms, relationship problems, and emotional difficulties are the most common harms, but family members and friends can also experience harm to their health, cultural practices, and their performance at work or school. Some people might also experience other harms, such as committing crimes, not taking care of their children properly, driving in an unsafe way, or being aggressive towards others.

Take a look at some of the harms reported by family members and friends that can result from another person’s gambling.

Financial impacts are the most common harms reported by family members and friends. These harms can have an immediate and significant effect on their lives and can cause other harms as well. Financial problems are usually what make family members and friends seek support or help for themselves. Even after the gambling is under control, financial harms can have a long-term impact on the lives of family members and friends.

Some common financial harms reported by family members and friends include:

• Reduced savings
• Reduced available spending money
• Increased credit card debt
• Selling personal items
• Taking on additional employment
• Being late for payments on bills – like electricity, gas, or rates
• Reduced spending on recreational activities – like eating out, going to movies, or other entertainment
• Reduced spending on beneficial expenses – like insurances, education, car and home maintenance
• Reduced spending on essential expenses – like medications, healthcare and food

Some more severe financial harms include:

• Loss of significant assets
• Disconnection of utilities – like electricity or gas
• Needing help from welfare organisations – like foodbanks or emergency bill payments
• Needing emergency or temporary accommodation

Family members and friends often report losing trust in the person who gambles. They can feel that the person is not putting as much effort into their relationship as they are, and that they have to “parent” them, especially around finances. Relationship harms can related to the money and time spent gambling. Relationship problems can continue even after the person has their gambling under control, and they’re a common reason why family members or friends seek help or support.

Some common relationship harms reported by family members and friends include:

• Spending less time with the people they care about
• Getting less enjoyment from the time they spend with the people they care about
• Neglecting their relationship responsibilities
• Spending less time attending social events
• Having greater tension in their relationships – like suspicion, lying or resentment
• Having greater conflict in their relationships – like arguing, fighting or ultimatums
• Feeling belittled in their relationships

Some more severe relationship harms include:

• Threat of separation or ending a relationship
• Actual separation or ending a relationship
• Feeling excluded or shut-off from others

Family members and friends often report feeling upset or distressed about the other person’s gambling. They may feel like they don’t have control over their lives or feel insecure and unsafe. Shame and stigma are also common feelings experienced by family members and friends.

Some common emotional harms reported by family members and friends include:

• Feeling distressed about the person’s gambling
• Feeling ashamed of the person’s gambling
• Feeling like a failure
• Feeling insecure or vulnerable
• Feeling angry about the person not controlling their gambling
• Feeling worthless

Some more severe emotional harms include:

• Feelings of hopelessness about the person’s gambling
• Feelings of extreme distress
• Thoughts of running away or escape

Gambling can have negative effects on the health of family members or friends. This is because they may not have enough money to take care of their health needs. As a result, they may develop health problems that continue even after the gambling is under control.

Some common health harms reported by family members and friends include:

• Reduced physical activity due to the person’s gambling
• Stress-related health problems – like high blood pressure or headaches
• Losing sleep due to spending time with the person gambling
• Losing sleep due to stress or worry about the person’s gambling
• Neglecting their hygiene and self-care
• Neglecting their medical needs – including failing to take prescribed medications
• Not eating as much or as often as they should
• Eating too much
• Increasing their smoking
• Increasing their drinking

Some more severe health harms include:

• Developing depression
• Experiencing family violence because of the person’s gambling
• Increasing their use of health and emergency services due to health issues caused or worsened by the person’s gambling
• Self-harming
• Living in unhygienic living conditions – like living rough or in neglected or unclean housing
• Attempting suicide

Cultural harm often occurs with relationship harms because of the link between family and culture. In some cases, these harms can be felt by family members and friends before the person who gambles.

Some cultural harms reported by family members and friends include:

• Reduced participation in cultural rituals
• Experiencing culturally based shame in relation to their cultural roles and expectations
• Reduced contribution to their community and cultural practices
• Reduced connection to their cultural community
• Feeling excluded or shut out from their cultural community

Work or study harms are consistent for family members and friends who are in paid employment, studying, or undertaking volunteer work. They are generally caused by other gambling harms. For example, a family member or friend might be tired and distracted at work or study as a result of gambling-related emotional or psychological distress.

Some common work or study harms reported by family members and friends include:

• Reduced performance at work or study due to tiredness or distraction
• Being late for work or study
• Being absent from work or study
• Hindering their job-seeking efforts
• Using their work or study time to attend to issues caused by the person’s gambling
• Using their work or study resources to help with matters arising from the person’s gambling
• Less availability for additional commitments
• Less progression in their job or study
• Conflict with their workmates

Some more severe work or study harms include:

• Losing their job
• Being excluded from their study

Some family members and friends might experience other negative effects from another person’s gambling, including:

• Neglecting their children
• Petty theft, including taking money or items from friends or family without asking first
• Committing a criminal act to fund their family member or friend’s gambling or pay debts – like stealing, trafficking or selling drugs, dishonestly claiming government payments, prostitution or dealing in stolen goods
• Being arrested for unsafe driving
• Being violent – including domestic or family violence

How do you know if you’ve been harmed by a family member or friend’s gambling?

It can be quick and easy to find out if you’ve been harmed by your family member or friend’s gambling.

If you’ve noticed any of these harms within the last year, it could be a sign that your family member or friend’s gambling is causing negative effects on your life. However, it’s also possible that you’re experiencing other harms from your family or friend’s gambling that aren’t listed here.

It’s important to take care of yourself and to get help for yourself if you need it. It’s not just people who gamble who need support, but also the people around them. Feeling the strain of dealing with someone’s gambling is normal, but focusing on caring for yourself and working through your feelings can decrease the impact of someone else’s gambling on you. See our section on Looking After Yourself .

Some people feel apprehensive or even embarrassed about asking for help, but it’s important to protect yourself and learn how best to manage the harms that are caused by your family member or friend’s gambling. It’s important to manage these harms, so you’re in a better position to help yourself. You’ll also be in a better position to do something productive about their gambling. See our information on Seeking Support to find ways you can get some support for yourself to help you through this difficult time.

Do you want more help?

To find out more about harms to family members or friends, you can start an online chat with us or call the Gambling Helpline on  1800 858 858 – free, confidential, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

These services are available to support anyone affected by gambling harm, including family members or friends like you. Family members and friends can play an important role in people’s gambling recovery. To learn more about how you can support someone else change their gambling, go to our sections on Having the Conversation and Supporting Change .

How do you know if someone has been harmed by another person's gambling?

It can be quick and easy to find out if someone has been harmed by another person’s gambling.

If you’ve noticed any of these harms within the last year, it could be a sign that someone else’s gambling is causing negative effects on their life. However, it’s also possible that they’re experiencing other harms from someone else’s gambling that aren’t listed here.

It’s important that family members and friends take care of themselves and get help for themselves if they need it. It’s not just people who gamble who need support – it’s also people around them. Feeling the strain of dealing with someone’s gambling is normal – but focusing on caring for themselves and working through their feelings can decrease the impact of someone else’s gambling on them. See our section on Looking After Yourself.

Some people feel apprehensive or even embarrassed about asking for help - but it's important to protect themselves and learn how best to manage the harm caused by someone else's gambling. It's important to manage these harms, so they're in a better position to help themselves. They'll also be better positioned to do something productive about their friend or family member's gambling. See our information on Seeking Support to find ways family members and friends can get some support to help them through this difficult time.

To find out more about harms to family members or friends, you or the person you’re working with can start an online chat with us or call the Gambling Helpline on  1800 858 858 – free, confidential, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

These services are available to support anyone affected by gambling harm, including family members, friends, and professionals like you. It can be hard for professionals to support people with gambling issues. To learn more about how you can help, go to our section on How Professionals Can Help.

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In this series:

• Signs of a problem
• Harms from gambling

Understand gambling better.

• Article Gambling and young people aged 18–24 5 min read Gambling and young people
• Article Gambling and under 18's 5 min read Gambling and young people
• Article Learn about gambling 7 min read How Gambling Works
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• Article Support for young people who gamble 5 min read Gambling and young people
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• Article Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Gambling 2 min read
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• Article Harms from gambling 8 min read Gambling problems and harms
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• Article Avoiding risky gambling 5 min read Setting gambling limits
• Article The benefits of change 3 min read Self-help activities
• Article Keeping busy 5 min read Self-help activities
• Article Creating a budget 4 min read Self-help activities
• Article Finding ways to relax 7 min read Self-help activities
• Article Changing thoughts and beliefs 7 min read Self-help activities
• Article Focusing on health and wellbeing 7 min read Self-help activities
• Article Seeking support 7 min read Self-help activities

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How to Help Someone With a Gambling Addiction

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Having a loved one with a gambling addiction can certainly be difficult, especially when you or the individual suffering from compulsive gambling are not aware of the signs, stages, and treatment options. Addictive gambling can not only cause financial and behavioral problems for the individual going through it, but can also affect family members’ emotions and resources.

If you believe that a friend or family member may be headed toward addiction, research is the first step. You can use your knowledge to help them take their energy away from gambling and back to their priorities, even if it’s in the smallest way. If you’re looking for a solution or a way to help someone you love who is gambling compulsively, we can help. Let’s start with the basics.

How Do Gambling Addictions Form?

Like other addictions, gambling becomes habitual when an individual is consistently indulging in it. These habits can form whether someone is on the casino floor, at the racetrack, or even behind their computer screen.

Addictive behaviors tend to develop more quickly in those who participate in more continuous forms of gambling, such as slot machines and other quick casino games. These methods of gambling can cause addiction in as little as a year. For people who choose to bet on horse races or play card games, addictions may develop a few years down the line.

Addictive Behaviors

How do you know if someone you love is addicted to gambling? There are a few ways to recognize the compulsion:

• Preoccupation – If it always seems like their mind is somewhere else, that could be a sign that they’re preoccupied with thoughts of gambling.
• Risky Behavior – Are they acting out-of-character and taking more risks? This behavior could be a sign of compulsive gambling.
• Guilt After Gambling – If they feel overwhelmingly guilty after gambling, they may not be thinking clearly. This guilt could lead them to gambling even more.
• Desperation – Gambling addicts may tend to act out of desperation in order to get their money back.
• Reminiscing – If the majority of memories your loved one relives are related to gambling, this could show signs of addiction.
• Taking Time Off – Do they take time off of work to gamble? This is one of the tell-tale signs of serious compulsion.

If you see these signs in a loved one, the first step is to talk to them and identify if there is a problem. You, as an individual, are not able to cure their disease on your own — all you can do is try your best to understand them and follow the steps below to handle the situation as gently as possible.

How to Talk to Someone About Their Addiction

Many people want to help their loved ones suffering from addictions, but it’s difficult to know where to start. After all, there’s no “right” way to do it. Those plagued by addiction have a tendency to react negatively if they do not see a problem, and the issue will never get fixed if they don’t recognize it. This reaction may stop people from approaching family members or friends facing a gambling compulsion.

However, people who feel understood are more likely to talk openly & honestly about their issues and the root of the problem. If they have someone like you who truly tries to listen to them, chances are higher they may come around to getting help for themselves.

Here are a few steps to help someone who has a gambling addiction:

• Ask them if a problem exists.
• Encourage them to get help. And remember, you can’t make someone ready to change — but discussing it is the first important step.
• Be honest with them and gently talk about how their actions make you feel

Some people may be grateful to know that someone they love is trying to help them; but, as mentioned above, someone might get defensive and lie about their addiction. If this happens, all you can do is tell them you love them and give them access to helpful resources and information.

Types of Help for Gambling Addiction

As you know, there is only so much you can do alone for a loved one going through a gambling addiction. Eventually, it will be necessary for them to receive professional help. Hopefully, after you provide them with information about different treatments, they will take action will one of these methods:

• Psychotherapy
• Support groups
• Cognitive behavioral therapy

Moving Forward

Ultimately, doing the research on ways to help your loved one is the best way to handle the issue and move forward. And at the end of the day, those who aren’t ready for help cannot be helped. Once your loved one feels understood, they are more likely to take steps themselves to overcome their gambling addiction with one of these solutions.

If you believe that your loved one may be suffering from a gambling addiction, please call Steps to Recovery at 267.719.8528 .

https://www.psychguides.com/behavioral-disorders/gambling-addiction/how-to-help/

https://www.begambleaware.org/gambling-problems/signs-to-look-out-for/how-to-help/

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4 steps to confronting loved ones with a gambling problem.

Both adults and teens gamble in Atlantic City and across the state, but when someone you know and care about is struggling with a gambling problem, approaching them about it can be difficult. CCGNJ is dedicated to spreading awareness about problem gambling and getting individuals and families the help they need.

Before you try to persuade your loved one to begin their road to recovery, it can be helpful to have a plan for action. Below, we’ve outlined a 4-step process that you can use when staging an intervention with a friend or family member about their gambling issue, consisting of 4 stages, as outlined in the video below:

During the validation stage, you pave the way for a loving and caring intervention. Even if you have some negative feelings toward the person because of how their problem gambling has affected you, an intervention based on negativity will have little chance of success. Help your friend or family member understand that they are not defined by their gambling problem. Make it clear how much you care by listing specific examples of why you care and recounting their many positive qualities.

Documentation

An individual with a gambling problem may deny the severity or even the existence of the problem. Maintaining denial becomes more difficult, however, when every person involved in the intervention lists concrete examples of negative consequences that happened because of their gambling.

• Every person involved in the intervention should compose a list of specific examples of negative consequences they have observed or experienced as a direct result of the gambling.
• Don’t write down anything you haven’t experienced or observed directly, as it can degrade the power of your message.
• Talk about how the situation makes you feel. Your loved one may deny the existence of the problem, but they can’t deny how their behaviors affect your feelings.

Recommendations

Interventions are staged for a reason: to get your loved one to take action. In the third step, you ask your loved one to actively do something about their gambling problem. Talk to them about the resources that are available to help them.

Consequences

To improve the odds of your loved one taking action, outlining some specific consequences can go a long way. During this last step, explain that there will be consequences for not seeking help.

• Be very specific about what you will or will not do.
• Do not lay down a consequence you aren’t willing to impose.
• Follow through on what you say.

Starting an honest dialogue about the reality of the situation is a very positive first step to help your loved one seek the help they need. To learn more about adult and teenage problem gambling in Atlantic City and throughout New Jersey, call or text our helpline today.

RECOVER TOGETHER: IN PERSON & VIRTUAL MEETINGS

For Family Members

Many people enjoy gambling and do so responsibly, but for a few, gambling is not a social activity..

An untreated gambling addiction, like any other, can destroy families, careers, and can even be life-threatening. It’s important, therefore, to recognizing the signs and urge help.

The following are some of the frequent signs that have been associated with people who are struggling with a gambling addiction or who are becoming addicted.

• Mounting, unpaid bills and pursue by debt collectors
• Gambling to escape worry, boredom or problems
• Constantly thinking about gambling
• Thoughts about gambling disrupting sleep
• Routinely gambling longer than planned
• Having thoughts about self-harm or suicide because of problems resulting from gambling
• Taking time off work or from school to gamble
• Hiding money from family to gamble (or, hiding money from a spouse/family member so they don’t spent it on gambling)
• Stealing money to gamble or pay gambling debts
• Borrowing money to finance gambling or to pay back gambling debts
• Continuing to gamble even after promises and commitments to stop
• Changes in mood and behavior coinciding with gambling episodes
• Missing important events, appointments and other commitments as a result gambling
• Unexplained absences from school or classes
• Sudden drop in grades or failure to complete assignments on time
• Change of personality or behavior
• Exaggerated display of money or other material possessions
• Daily or weekly card game
• Bragging about winning at gambling
• Intense interest in gambling conversations
• Unusual interest in newspapers/magazines/periodicals/sports scores
• Unaccountable explanation for new items of value in possession
• Borrowing or stealing money
• Withdrawing from family and friends
• Uncharacteristically forgetting appointments or dates
• Exaggerated use of word “bet” in vocabulary and/or use of gambling language in conversations (e.g. bookie, point spread, underdog, favorite)

Work-place signs

Gambling problems can impact the workplace causing distress for the individual employee as well as peers. If you are concerned about one of your employees or colleagues, ask yourself the following:

• Does the employee spend excessive time away from the job? (NOTE: Excessive time away from the job may include extended use of telephone to place bets or check results; reviewing form sheets, racing, sports or the stock pages in the newspaper, when pretending to work; participating in cards, lottery and/or office pools often, etc.)
• Does the employee take unusual amounts of sick time, especially half-days? (NOTE: The compulsive gambler frequently takes excessive time. S/he often suffers from depression, hypertension, ulcers and other health problems. S/he also uses sick time to gamble.)
• Does the employee routinely arrive late, leave early, take long lunches or experience difficulties reporting and/or remaining in scheduled work location(s)?
• Does the employee talk or worry about money problems, or experience money difficulties, resulting in requests for cash advances or loans (i.e. borrowing) from fellow employees and/or employer?
• Does the employee always seem to be the person who starts and/or runs the office pools (e.g. sports, lottery, birth)?
• Does the employee encourage coworkers to bet in office pools and/or bet more money?
• Does the employee try to organize an office excursion to a casino or racetrack?
• Does the employee have a history of writing bad checks?
• Does the employee have more than one mailing address?
• Does the employee’s use of company money seem suspicious or inappropriate?

Gambling - advice for family and friends

Actions for this page.

• You have the right to feel safe, and emotionally and financially secure.
• Seek professional advice about how to protect your family’s assets and income.
• Talk to trusted people who will not judge you or the person that gambles. Consider talking frankly to other affected members of the family so you can support each other.

On this page

It’s not your fault, your relationship with the gambler, practical steps to avoid financial harm, confide in people you trust, socialise with others, look after your health, looking after children, maintaining and restoring relationships, seek support for yourself, where to get help.

When someone close to you experiences gambling-related harm , it can affect you as well.

You have the right to feel safe, and emotionally and financially secure. It is important to protect yourself from any harm that may arise from your family member or friend’s harmful gambling.

Seek legal, financial and other advice to explore your options. Contacting a therapeutic and/or financial counsellor is a good place to start.

Coping with a family member or friend’s gambling behaviour can be challenging. Use your energy to help change your own situation rather than theirs. It is important to remember:

• You cannot force your family member or friend to acknowledge that their gambling is harmful.
• You cannot force them to stop or control their gambling.
• No matter what you say or do, ultimately the only person who can take control is the person that gambles. It is important to understand that it is not the person causing harm but their behaviour.
• You are not to blame for their behaviour.

Gambling can strain relationships. Suggestions include:

• Inform the person causing harm through their gambling of the negative impact that their behaviour is having on you. Communicate your feelings carefully and openly.
• Don’t try to take control of the their life. It won’t work and will make you unhappy.
• Let the person causing harm through their gambling know you want to support them. They may feel out of control, embarrassed or ashamed.
• Support them in their struggle, but don’t take on their burden, especially not their debts. Choose to say, ‘I can’t do this for you, but I will support you while you are doing it.
• Allow them to take responsibility for their behaviour. Do not help them lie and deceive.

Money can be a sensitive subject for many people, and it can become even more sensitive when it is caused by harmful gambling.

If someone close to you engages in harmful gambling you may need to protect your finances.

Partners of people experiencing harm from gambling could consider:

• making a family budget – try to make it achievable, especially when aiming to repay debts, so the person with a gambling problem doesn't feel the need to gamble more
• carefully tracking all family spending
• taking on management of the family finances until the gambling is under control
• agreeing on how much cash or credit your partner can have, so they're not tempted to gamble
• opening up separate bank accounts or have accounts set up that require two signatures for withdrawals
• putting valuables in a safety deposit
• speaking with the bank to ensure your home can't be re-mortgaged
• removing your name from shared credit cards
• cancelling any overdrafts on bank accounts
• getting legal advice so you know your rights, if and when needed.

If you are a family member or friend of someone experiencing harm from gambling, you may want to consider:

• thinking carefully about your own finances before offering to help financially
• paying the bills yourself rather than lending money for bills
• not sharing your PIN numbers
• putting your valuables and cash out of sight
• warning other family, friends and co-workers not to lend money to the person
• changing your will to ensure future inheritance will not be lost to gambling.

Friends or family members can often feel isolated and alone. It may be helpful to seek support from others. Talk to trusted people who will not judge you or the person that gambles. Consider talking frankly to other affected members of the family so you can support each other.

Spending time with others can relieve stress. You don’t need to talk about your concerns if you don’t want to. Having time out to do things you like can stop you from getting consumed by someone else’s gambling. Maintain your friendships, continue with your interests and hobbies, and do things that you find enjoyable.

A healthy diet, regular exercise and adequate rest can improve your wellbeing and increase your resilience to stress. A gambling counsellor can give you other suggestions on how to look after yourself.

When a parent engages in harmful gambling behaviour, it can have a huge impact on their children.

It is important to help children affected by gambling. Although they may not say anything, they can feel isolated, angry and depressed by what's happening at home.

In extreme cases, gambling may mean children:

• don't have enough to eat
• can't have new clothes or shoes when they need them
• miss out on activities such as sport, school excursions, camps or music lessons
• have trouble with their studies
• have to take on more 'adult' responsibilities, such as looking after younger children
• witness increased arguments and tension
• experience family violence
• experience family breakdown
• experience homelessness.

To minimise the effect on children and to support them emotionally:

• encourage them to talk freely about their feelings, but let them do this when they're ready to
• assure them that they are not responsible
• try to keep them engaged in family activities
• try not to over-involve them in helping to solve financial and other problems caused by gambling
• ensure they understand that the family may need to budget, but that they will be OK
• don't put down the person with harmful gambling as this can be confusing – separate the person from the behaviour and acknowledge that the behaviour is bad, not the person.

Problem gambling can put a terrible strain on relationships. When someone spends less time with you or doesn't fulfil their commitments, it can feel like they don't care.

You may have many mixed feelings. For example, you may be angry about the debt they've run up and afraid they won't stop gambling, yet want to help and support them.

It is important to rebuild trust, but remember it takes time. You could:

• encourage the person to be honest about their gambling urges, accept what you hear and reward honesty
• talk together once a week, with openness about past hurts or future worries
• take time to have fun together, without talking about gambling problems
• consider going to a counsellor together.

If you are losing hope, it is important to seek professional help. Relationship counselling and mediation can be a safer alternative for discussing problems and seeking solutions if there is a communication breakdown between you and the gambler.

It's not just people experiencing gambling related harm that need support; it's also those around them.

Coping with a loved one’s harmful gambling can be very distressing. Talk with a professional who understands gambling harm if you are starting to experience overwhelming sadness, anxiety or anger. Counselling or self-help groups can help you make important decisions about your relationship.

Gambler’s Help supports family and friends of people who gamble with free, professional and confidential support, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call Gambler’s Help on Tel: 1800 858 858.

• Gambler’s Help External Link Tel. 1800 858 858 24-hour telephone counselling service
• Gambler’s Help Youthline External Link Tel. 1800 262 376 24-hour telephone counselling service for people under 25.
• Your GP (doctor) or other health professional
• Victorian Responsible Gambling Foundation External Link
• Gambling Help Online External Link - counselling and information services including a peer support program External Link .
• Gambler’s Help External Link Tel. 1800 858 858 , TTY 1800 777 706 – 24-hour telephone counselling service
• Gamblers Anonymous External Link Tel. (03) 9696 6108 – support group for people with a gambling problem
• Gamble Aware External Link – information about the odds of winning, how gambling works, and when to stop
• Lifeline External Link Tel. 13 11 14
• SuicideLine External Link Victoria Tel. 1300 651 251

This page has been produced in consultation with and approved by:

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More information, related information.

• Gambling - do you have a problem?
• Gambling - providing support
• Gambling - how to change your habits
• Gambling - financial issues

From other websites

• External Link Responsible Gambling - Reducing harm from gambling
• External Link Gambling Help Online – Counselling.

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4 Negative Gambling Effects on Family & How to Deal With It

In This Article

An individual doesn’t recognize the gambling effects on family occurring right before them, nor do they see the consequences taking place personally, physically, or emotionally.

When left to progress to a habit, time is stolen, finances are in shambles, and lives are ruined. It’s a lesser talked about addiction that can grow out of hand rapidly and before a participant realizes they have a problem. 

If not stopped at the first indication of an issue, it can get severe the longer it goes. While relationships, families, even friendships are tested, the recommendation is that the addicted individual gets unconditional support, as would be true with any addiction. 

How is that possible with the devastation people with gambling problems can inflict on their loved ones? We’ll learn together.

What is addiction to gambling?

Gambling involves betting in varied gaming, sports, playing slots, lotteries and produces the euphoria of winning plus the lows that come with losing. 

The development of addiction is not necessarily to play a game but more so to the exhilaration that comes when you conquer the play. 

Addictions shouldn’t be confused with an indication of personal weakness or flaw in someone’s character, nor does it carry statistics about the level of intelligence, social status, age, or amount of wealth. 

Many people can go to the casino or even play online with no cause and effect of gambling. Others become compulsive with trying to win to experience that euphoria that comes with it. 

It can develop into such a “high” that players start craving the sensation, especially trying to attain it after the mental crash from losing. The need to keep playing despite the possible effects of gambling on relationship brings entertainment to an addictive level. 

It is referenced as gambling addiction, compulsive gambling, or problem gambling. It becomes a significant issue when there are financial consequences, work is disrupted, or partners of gambling addicts recognize a problem.

When gambling addiction is left to progress, it can not only devastate the ones the gambler loves, but the individual can begin to experience emotional turmoil, guilt, feelings of shame, and start to self-isolate, further evoking gambling effects on family.

Fortunately, the addiction is treatable. Although there are negative effects of gambling on family and friends, including exasperation, anger, worry, it’s a time that requires the utmost love and support so healing can occur. Follow the clinical guidelines to learn the fundamentals of gambling addictions.

What is the impact of gambling problems on families & relationships?

Addicts feel the compulsion their suffering affects only them and their life making it seem okay since they believe there are no gambling effects on family. 

The victory they experience in any game, regardless of what they play, equates to the “high” a user would receive from a drug. 

The gambler doesn’t recognize gambling addiction effects on everyone around them nor that the behavior in any way has the potential to ruin the lives of those closest to them, including their mates. The only consideration for this individual is that it makes them feel good – sometimes. 

If the person is forced to face reality, there is a “let-down,” almost like they’re dissatisfied or lacking something essential. As a rule, addiction of any kind is generally kept quiet in families. 

That’s especially true of gambling. It’s a “silent addiction” for which the individual tends to hide, and the loved ones will often enable to protect the person, often resulting in worse implications for the one suffering the disorder plus everyone associated with that person sometimes.

But it depends on the severity of the addiction initially, how far it’s allowed to progress, how intimate the partnership is, and other variables. 

There is the possibility for severe emotional, psychological, social, financial, and potentially legal issues that could result in the union’s demise altogether. Here is research on the effects of problem gambling for those involved.

1. Financial implications

Instead of letting themselves feel that they are in any way disappointing their family, most begin to lie about either their activities or the amount of money they’re losing, especially if they’re neglecting work in favor of play. 

Some may even ultimately use the activity as a primary source of income. In that scenario, there can only be negative effects of gambling on family since a gambler will not always be a winner resulting in zero income a majority of the time.

That leaves partners of gambling addicts struggling to make ends meet, attempting to restrict the money the gambler uses and trying to help their mate see the need to get back into the workforce, usually to no avail. 

When friends and relatives begin to loan money to “assist” the compulsive gambler believing it will help alleviate financial challenges or monthly expenses, it will likely enable the gambling behavior, ultimately doing more harm than good.

In extreme cases, gambling ruins lives, with families having to foreclose on homes and eventually go into bankruptcy. Some signs of financial repercussions due to problem gambling:

• Monthly expense funds used for gambling
• Banking statements disappear
• Loans begin to stack up
• Creditors start calling
• Bills accrue
• Debt is growing
• Savings disappears
• Credit card cash advances
• Assets disappearing out of the household
• Paychecks not coming in

The repercussions for not paying bills and accruing debt that the gambler then neglects can result in creditors taking cases to court, leading to lawsuits for repayment. 

The financial burdens become even more overwhelming when there are legal consequences, meaning more significant gambling effects on family.

2. Effects of gambling addiction on family and friends

The gambler’s behavior presents the family and friends with excessive tension and stress, putting the bonds they’ve developed in jeopardy; whether it be a spouse, parents, children, siblings, friends, or a mate, the trust is broken. 

The person can no longer provide a sense of security, nor can anyone maintain confidence in what is being told to them, more so there is apprehension over what will happen in the future.

With any degree of compulsion, lies typically accompany the behavior. Often, if the addict goes to the casinos, they’ll be out for prolonged times or come home the following day. There’s much manipulation to get what they want, threats if they don’t, and in some cases, resultant violence or abuses. 

Friends who lend money are assured it will be returned only to be avoided when it’s time for repayment.

These things ultimately lead to the end of relationships elevating the problem further since the individual will go deeper into isolation, avoiding anyone who was once close to them due to shame and going further out of control to ease the pain. 

The repercussions are more significant gambling effects on family. 

3. Emotional and psychological distress

Invariably a mate or spouse will attempt to carry the load that the compulsive gambler is not handling. The significant other will excuse the behavior to friends and relatives, often being dishonest about where the addict goes.

The enabling becomes increasingly deceitful in the partner’s effort to keep the relationship together and garner a certain degree of normalcy for the family even though there are more and more effects of gambling on the family.

When children are involved, they can sense a problem despite no one coming out and telling them there’s an issue. They recognize the arguments; perhaps parents are sleeping separately, of course, they’re wise to suffering financially. 

Kids will begin to act up both at home and in school when they feel insecure. Psychological issues can even develop like depression or anxiety due to fear of things getting worse.

4. Domestic abuses

In a tense environment where financial distress and loss of security are an issue, emotions are high, and arguments will ensue with the potential for violence resulting in either spousal or child abuse when the addicted personality feels attacked.

Unfortunately, the greater the losing streak, the deeper the addiction and the more likely the fighting will continue as the gambler looks for that euphoric win that’s eluding them. A partner doesn’t know how to deal with a gambler that’s out of control. 

The only options are to seek help for the problem or for the mate to walk away. And with this type of behavior, a person with problem gambling is not ready to receive counseling. For their safety, the family needs to leave.

Can gambling cause relationship problems?

Gambling addiction relationship problems can be severe depending on the depth of the compulsion. The addicted personality will lie to cover up any dependence on the activity at any level. Lying in itself is cause for there to be broken trust between two people. 

Over time, as a partner realizes there’s an issue, it can go one of two ways, the significant other can either begin to make excuses for the behavior or bring it to the surface and call the gambler out. That can be risky given the propensity for violence that follows this addiction.

Unfortunately, in many cases, partners tend to deceive friends and family instead of divulging what’s genuinely happening in the household to protect the individual with the problem, thereby enabling the addiction. 

While it might look on the outside like that’s in some way “helping,” it’s, in fact, making the problem much worse and setting yourself up for, perhaps financial ruin along with the probability of the end of the partnership. 

When someone is enabled, that’s kind of along the lines of telling them you permit it. The problem gambler can then participate openly and gregariously because they’re “allowed.” 

That leaves all the burdens of the household in your lap when bills are not met, the home goes into foreclosure, bankruptcy looms, and creditors reach out.

The gambling impact on families or a relationship is strong when it reaches the point where you can call it a compulsion. Any addiction is hard on a significant other, but gambling addiction relationship problems can ruin lives and devastate emotionally, financially, socially. 

These are things you don’t just bounce back from, even when getting help.

The importance of treatment for gambling addiction

The gambling effects on family, friends, and the individual can be harsh, having overall health consequences and financial repercussions. At the first sign, there is a problem developing; it’s essential to seek help to prevent the issue from getting out of control. 

Once you lose the ability to control the behavior, you’re at risk of ruining your life and the lives of everyone you love leaving you with no one. And because you siphon away all your finances, your job, and your home, you’ll have nothing and nowhere to go.

The suggestion is that treatment programs can be beneficial in helping with recovery for those who wish to be supported. 

Most are designed to work with the cognitive thinking process , as is typical in a mental health capacity, to help reprogram the brain’s views on gambling.

The primary thing to consider is why you gamble and find a method to help avoid those temptations and prevent the triggers. 

A professional counselor can help you with coping skills and guide you towards other activities that will make you feel good and substitute for the addiction.

How to deal with your partner’s gambling addiction?

Spouses or partners of gamblers with a compulsion for the activity should avoid enabling their mate due to the potential gambling effects on family and other loved ones. 

For advice on methods to help your partner, follow the tips in this guide .

Final thought

Addiction is a challenge for an individual to endure and a family or partner to see their loved one contending with. Often, families are unsure how to help, tending to go into protective mode immediately, but in protecting, we can sometimes do more harm than good. 

In most circumstances, the ideal reaction is to reach out to a professional for guidance on precisely how to handle the situation for the greatest good of the affected person. The experts can offer advice that will serve the person’s best interests and, in turn, find methods that will aid the family as well.

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How to Help a Family Member with a Gambling Problem

Many people treat gambling as a recreational activity and a fun way to pass the time. However, there are two sides to every coin, and some gamblers are at risk of turning the fun into a disorder.

A gambling problem can occur at any stage of someone’s life: Those affected by it cannot control their urge to gamble, even though they’re aware that such actions can endanger their livelihood or that of their loved ones.

Thankfully, people with a gambling problem don’t have to suffer alone. There are several ways that you can help your loved ones or even a close friend if you suspect they have a gambling disorder. However, before you enroll them in an addicts’ program, you should first make sure that the person you are trying to help is actually facing this issue to avoid putting a strain on your relationship.

Identifying the Warning Signs of Gambling Addiction

There are several myths regarding compulsive gamblers , and one of them implies that anyone who gambles frequently is a compulsive gambler. While those exposed to gambling more often do have higher chances of developing a compulsive need to gamble, the sheer frequency of gambling does not necessarily help in identifying someone with a gambling disorder.

Simply put, there is a difference between an active gambler and a compulsive gambler.

While it may sound tricky, recognising someone with a gambling disorder is relatively easy if you know what signs to look out for:

• Spending more money gambling than they can afford
• Asking for loans or, in the worst-case scenario, stealing to cover gambling debts
• Allowing gambling to get in the way of their work
• Having difficulties in personal relationships due to gambling
• Hiding their gambling habits from friends, family, or medical professionals

If a person close to you exhibits one or more of these signs, they may require professional help, and the best way to provide the right kind of aid is to understand them and the potential causes of their gambling addiction.

Understanding Addicted Gamblers

There are two types of compulsive gamblers: They can either be action gamblers or escape gamblers .

Action gamblers tend to be extroverted and self-confident. They often focus on games of skill, such as poker or blackjack, and enjoy beating the odds. On the other hand, escape gamblers often use gambling to escape from their problems, as the name suggests. They can appear introverted, unhappy, or even depressed.

As we’ve mentioned before, someone with a gambling disorder might appear defensive when asked about it. Such a person can even lie about their gambling addiction, either because they are trying to avoid the topic, or they’re simply denying that a problem exists in the first place. However, by understanding what they are going through, you will be able to initiate the conversation and communicate with them more easily.

You should be mindful when expressing your concerns about their wellbeing, as there are several things to avoid. For starters, be wary of your tone and don’t lose your cool. Ensure that you are offering a helping hand and not preaching, lecturing, or criticising them about an already difficult situation.

Secondly, do not exclude them from family activities or allow them to feel left out. By doing so, you risk them trying to escape from even more problems, driving them ever further towards gambling. Instead, make them feel cared for and let them know that you and other family members are there for them.

Lastly, do not expect an immediate recovery and be prepared for relapses. Many compulsive gamblers suffer from gambling withdrawal - recovering from gambling addiction is a process that will take time and continuous effort.

However, keep in mind that you shouldn’t always bail them out of their money problems, either. This can be counterproductive, as it might give them the false impression that someone will always be there to pay off their debts, which will only add fuel to their habit. Sometimes, letting a person hit rock bottom might help them understand that they have a problem and recognise they need help. 

The most important thing to remember is that you should always be open and honest about your intentions. By expressing genuine concern for someone, you are ensuring that they feel safe enough to admit that they have a gambling problem and might even be open to suggestions and ideas on how to get help.

Helping Someone with Gambling Addiction

Gambling can quite often be a consequence of other underlying problems, such as mental health issues like depression, or even financial or marital problems. The best way to combat addiction is by tackling your problems one by one and working on getting your life back on track.

An excellent way to start would be by helping your loved ones seek support from others who have similar problems and ensure that they attend self-help groups. Also, they should seek counseling and medical help.

By slowly working on their problems and regaining control over their life, your loved ones’ mood will improve, which will help immensely when battling gambling addiction.

Lastly, suppose the situation is severe, and the person in your circle with a gambling addiction requires round-the-clock support. In that case, you should consider talking to them and signing them up for rehab if there is a facility specialising in helping those with gambling problems in your vicinity.

Gambling addiction is a serious issue, and can lead to many financial and mental health problems . It can cause anxiety, depression, and in the worst-case scenario, even suicide. If you suspect that a member of your family is a compulsive gambler, you should approach them and express your concerns about their wellbeing.

Keep in mind that gambling affects everyone differently, and the situation varies from one person to another. For that reason, focus on understanding them and helping them realize that their gambling is negatively affecting them, you, and other members of your circle, but that it doesn’t have to be their whole life.

Ideally, this will help them understand the severity of their actions, and you can come to an agreement about seeking professional help.

This article was kindly written and contributed by Milica Kostic

S2:E40 | Fay Jackson: Mental Ill Health & the Power of the Peer Workforce

The psychological impacts of heart conditions.

• Internet Computer
• Video Games
• Obsessive-Compulsive (OCD)
• Post-Traumatic Stree Disorder (PTSD)
• Personality Disorder
• Mood Disorder
• Panic Disorder
• Eating Disorder
• Neurological
• Female Specific
• Eating Disorder Treatment Insurance Coverage
• Sex Addiction Symptoms, Causes and Effect
• Video Game Addiction Symptoms, Causes and Effects
• Porn Addiction
• Anger Symptoms, Causes and Effects
• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Symptoms, Causes and Effects
• Internet/Computer
• Mental Health
• Personality
• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

How to Help Someone With a Gambling Problem

Many people can enjoy gambling without it becoming a problem, but over time, some people develop a gambling addiction that can ruin their lives. Compulsive gambling is a progressive illness, so even if you’ve gambled before and been okay, a problem could develop later on. The urge to gamble can be overwhelming, leading someone to lie, steal, blow through their savings and miss out on the rest of their lives. Several signs indicate when normal enjoyment of gambling transitions into a problem. The earlier the process is identified, the better the chances for a successful recovery. Although compulsive gambling is hard to overcome, many people are able to manage their illness with professional help.

Understanding a Gambling Compulsion

A gambling compulsion can begin the first time someone places a bet, or it could gradually progress into an addiction over time. According to the Florida Council on Compulsive Gambling, how long it takes someone to develop a problem varies by the individual, though compulsions tend develop more quickly in people who engage in continuous forms of gambling, such as online betting or using slot machines. Some gamblers find themselves showing symptoms of a compulsion in less than a year when doing this type of gambling. People who bet on horse races or play card games that allow for natural breaks in play might not develop a gambling problem until they’ve been gambling for a lot longer.

How to Diagnose Compulsive Gambling

Experts don’t know specifically what leads to compulsive gambling. Many factors could contribute to the problem, such as hereditary or environmental factors. Diagnosing a gambling problem involves looking for signs someone is out of control. Possible signs of a gambling problem include:

• Spending more money on gambling than one can afford
• Difficulties in personal relationships caused by gambling
• Gambling getting in the way of work
• An inability to cut back or stop gambling
• Spending more time gambling than before
• Attempting to hide gambling from friends or medical professionals
• Stealing or committing fraud to support gambling
• Asking for loans to cover gambling debts

How to Recognize an Addictive Gambler

Although compulsive gamblers often share the trait of low self-esteem, two main types of compulsive gamblers are common: escape gamblers and actions gamblers. Recognizing a compulsive gambler is easier if you know the characteristics of each type. An action gambler is someone who likes to play games involving skill and beating the odds. Poker is an example of an action game. These types of gamblers are often extroverted, self-confident and even arrogant. An escape gambler views gambling as a form of escapism, seeing it as a distraction from real life. These gamblers can appear withdrawn, unhappy or introverted.

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According to the Mayo Clinic, signs indicate compulsive gamblers approach gambling as a means to escape problems or feelings, such as depression , guilt or helplessness. Some other ways to recognize a compulsive gambler include looking for signs of:

• A preoccupation with gambling
• Gradually taking more risks
• Reliving memories of gambling
• Guilt or remorse following gambling
• Taking time off work to gamble

Steps You Can Take to Help Someone With a Gambling Problem

If you suspect someone you know has a gambling problem, ways to help are available; however, the most important thing you can do is to encourage them to get help from a professional. We can assist you in finding help for a loved if you call . It’s important to remember that even though a person’s gambling has affected you to the point where you’re ready for them to change, they might not be ready yet. You can offer support and seek professional help with how to proceed, but you can’t make someone ready to change.

Talking to Someone With Gambling Problems

Although it can be challenging to confront someone about a gambling problem, the best thing you can do is to start by asking someone if the problem exists, according to the Victoria State Government. Although you might not get a straight answer and you won’t know how someone will react, if you approach someone in a non-confrontational way, you might get some useful information.

When talking to someone with a gambling problem, remember that if you want someone to be honest with you, be honest yourself. Letting someone know you suspect a problem and are worried, in a supportive and concerned manner, is more likely to work than being deceptive, judgmental or aggressive. Talk about how you’re feeling and what you’ve observed as these things are less likely to trigger an argument. Some people with gambling problems will be relieved and grateful the subject was broached, as they want to talk about it. Other people might not want to talk because they’re ashamed and could become defensive. If a person lies about having a problem, you can still say you care about your loved one and give them information on where to get help.

If a discussion about gambling becomes circular or confrontational, take a break and pick up the subject later. Always keep the lines of communication open.

Adolescents and Teens

Adolescents and teens are at risk for developing a gambling problem. Compulsive gambling generally starts when someone is in their late teens. Occasionally, people even become addicted the first time they gamble. Other times, the problem starts in the teen years and progresses as people’s lives become more stressful. Teens can gamble casually, but times of stress or depression might trigger overwhelming gambling urges.

Learning to Cope With a Gambling Addiction

Learning to cope with a gambling addiction can be challenging because at one time gambling might not have been an addiction for you. Gambling is also everywhere, readily available to suck you back in. Having a sponsor or designated person to help you resist the desire to gamble again might be particularly useful. Some things you can tell yourself to avoid a relapse and stay focused on recovery include:

• Even one bet can trigger a relapse
• It’s okay to ask for help
• Turn thoughts to the goal of not gambling
• Avoid people and situations that encourage betting

You can make it easier on yourself to live with a gambling addiction if you identify your gambling triggers and stay away from them. Ongoing therapy helps manage the condition.

How to Treat Gambling

Three main ways exist to treat gambling problems, including psychotherapy, medication and support groups. Cognitive behavioral therapy and behavior therapy help a person identify thought patterns that lead to and support a gambling problem, and replace them with healthier beliefs.

Some gamblers respond well to antidepressants, narcotic antagonists and mood stabilizer medications. Oftentimes, a person with a gambling addiction also suffers from bipolar disorder , depression, ADHD or obsessive-compulsive disorder , so medication or therapy to treat those conditions can alleviate gambling addiction. Gamblers Anonymous and other self-help groups help many people as well.

Deciding Between Gambling Addiction Solutions

The type of treatment that works for one person might be vastly different than what’s effective for someone else. Seeking an evaluation from a professional and discussing treatment options is the best way to choose the right gambling addiction solutions for you.

Where to Find Gambling Addiction Treatment for a Friend or Family Member

The sooner a person receives treatment for a gambling addiction, the easier it is to stop the progression of the illness. The problem is where to find gambling addiction treatment. Facilities offering inpatient and outpatient care might not be available in all areas, but by calling , we can help you find the closest available treatment resources. Friends and family members can also receive therapy to help them cope with the stress of having someone they know deal with a gambling addiction. A gambling addiction expert or facility can recommend support for loved ones.

Additional Resources

As advocates of mental health and wellness, we take great pride in educating our readers on the various online therapy providers available. PsychGuides has partnered with several thought leaders in the mental health and wellness space, so we can help you make informed decisions on your wellness journey. PsychGuides may receive marketing compensation from these companies should you choose to use their services.

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Gambling is one of the most insidious of human vices, as it presents the illusion of easy money yet can quickly lead to financial ruin. The odds are never in your favor whether it is poker, blackjack or anything else; gambling is a successful industry because the house always wins. Read on to find out about the symptoms, causes and effects of gambling addiction. Are There Different Types of Gambling Addiction? Gambling is a diverse… Continue Reading

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Gambling addiction hotlines say volume is up and callers are younger as online sports betting booms

In state after state, centers for problem gambling are noticing an alarming rise in calls to their helplines. 

The circumstances reported are also getting more severe, according to the directors of five problem gambling centers, a gambling researcher and an addiction counselor. People are filing for bankruptcy or losing homes or relationships. At the same time, callers are skewing younger, the experts said — often men in their 20s and 30s.

The directors say the mounting call volume has coincided with the legalization of sports betting and rising popularity of sports betting apps. 

“We believe, nationwide, the rate and severity of gambling problems have increased across the United States since 2018,” said Keith Whyte, executive director of the National Council on Problem Gambling, a nonprofit organization devoted to minimizing the costs and harms of gambling addiction. The group operates the helpline 1-800-GAMBLER. 

“We have every reason to believe the growth of online sports betting is a major contributing factor to the increase in gambling problems,” Whyte said.

In 2018, the Supreme Court struck down a law banning sports betting. To date, 38 states and Washington, D.C., have legalized the practice, according to the American Gaming Association , which advocates for the industry. Thirty of those states allow mobile sports betting.

Florida legalized sports betting in November, and it has since seen calls to its Council on Compulsive Gambling double. Pennsylvania’s Council on Compulsive Gambling saw call volume more than double from 2020 to 2023. 

Calls to Ohio’s Problem Gambling Network, meanwhile, increased 55% in 2023, the first year of legalized sports betting there.

“We are seeing this new trend where it is in fact sports bettors who are making up that big bump in call volume,” said Michael Buzzelli, the organization’s associate director. By February 2023, sports betting was the top form of problematic gambling reported to the helpline, surpassing lottery and casino slot machines, he said.

The issue has gained renewed attention in recent weeks after the Los Angeles Dodgers fired Shohei Ohtani’s interpreter , Ippei Mizuhara, following allegations that he stole money from the star to cover gambling debts. (Mizuhara’s story has shifted, and he has not commented directly about the theft allegations.) Around the same time, Cleveland Cavaliers coach J.B. Bickerstaff said he had received threats from gamblers . 

The companies behind the apps say they’re taking steps to reduce the risk of problem gambling, and they question whether the trend is as big as others say. In their view, mobile betting allows for oversight of practices that used to happen illegally, without safeguards.

FanDuel, which has amassed roughly 2.5 million average monthly players, said it sometimes  suspends or even closes accounts if customers display problematic activity, like wagering higher and higher amounts after a series of losing bets. 

“We’re making sure that the small percentage of people in the United States that should not be using our platform — similar to how they should not be drinking alcohol if they have a problem with alcohol — are not able to get access to it,” said Chris Jones, a spokesperson for the company. He declined to specify how many such instances there have been.

DraftKings — which had 3.5 million average monthly paid users at the end of last year , up from 1.5 million at the end of 2020 — declined to be quoted for this story.

Experts on problem gambling said that despite the companies’ efforts, there’s still a higher risk of addiction now that sports betting is more accessible and highly advertised. 

Several experts pointed out particular aspects of online sports betting that they said can make it more addictive than traditional gambling. For instance, the focus on sports can make bets seem less risky, since people have prior knowledge of a player’s stats or a team’s performance. And unlike a casino, mobile apps allow people to wager money directly from their bank accounts. 

“One can easily, rapidly place many bets that may make it more feasible for vulnerable individuals to experience gambling problems,” said Marc Potenza, director of the Center of Excellence in Gambling Research at Yale University. 

Plus, the possibilities are virtually endless. 

“There’s hundreds, if not thousands, of wagers within each individual game that can be placed now on a smartphone,” said Josh Ercole, executive director of the Council on Compulsive Gambling of Pennsylvania. “You’re not calling your bookie to place ‘the Eagles are going to beat the Giants’ or whatever.”

Whyte said sports betting apps should have easy-to-use, visible tools that allow players to set limits on the time and money they can spend, and they should offer easy access to the national helpline.

DraftKings, FanDuel and other apps do enable users to limit the money they can wager, number of bets, or time spent betting. DraftKings users can find that in their settings, under the title “Responsible Gaming,” while FanDuel users can do so via a small icon labeled “RG” at the top of the homepage. FanDuel also advertises a helpline when users log in, and both apps allow users to voluntarily ban themselves.

Experts also said a rise in advertising for sports betting is helping to fuel the trend: U.S. sports betting operators spent around $282 million on national TV ads from September 2021 to May 2022, according to one report .

“Before 2018, there was no advertising for sports betting during events. Now, you not only have sports betting ads saturating the events, you can even bet on the game that’s right in front of you,” Whyte said. 

Cait DeBaun, a spokesperson for the American Gaming Association, suggested that advertising is “one of the top reasons that customers move to legal, regulated sportsbooks.” Some FanDuel ads highlight the app’s voluntary time and wager limits.

Jake, a 49-year-old member of Gamblers Anonymous, said he’s not opposed to legal sports betting but worries that advertising and targeted promotions make it difficult for some people to quit. He requested that his last name not be published for privacy reasons.

Online sports betting is not yet legal in Georgia, where Jake lives, but he said he sees lots of young people at Gamblers Anonymous meetings, many of whom are addicted to mobile gaming. 

“In meetings, I’m seeing people younger and younger. When I first started meeting, I was the youngest. I was in my early 40s,” he said.

Jake said his addiction took off when he started betting illegally online via bookies and offshore websites.

“I was highly competitive in sports and played a lot of high school sports,” Jake said. “After high school, I didn’t play and I missed the competitive edge. I chased that high, and I got it from gambling.”

In the end, he said, “I lost a marriage. I lost a business. … I would get loans, I would run credit cards up — hundreds of thousands of dollars lost.”

Around 1% of U.S. adults meet the diagnostic criteria for a gambling addiction, according to the National Council on Problem Gambling. But in 2021, a council survey found that a quarter of young adults frequently experienced at least one sign of problem gambling, like hiding bets from other people or feeling restless or irritable when they tried to scale back.

“The legalization of sports betting, the ease of online betting platforms and the normalization of sports wagering contribute to its prevalence among those struggling with addiction,” Lin Sternlicht, co-founder of Family Addiction Specialist in New York City, said in an email. She added that push notifications create a sense of urgency that can foster addictive behavior. 

Both the gaming industry and federal lawmakers have endeavored to address these issues.

Last week, seven gaming companies, including DraftKings and FanDuel, announced a trade group to promote responsible gaming research and education. The group hopes to create a database that enables companies to share information — for instance, if a user voluntarily bans themselves from one app, other companies would know to ban the user as well.

Last year, the American Gaming Association also instituted a requirement that people who appeared in sports betting ads be at least 21 and prohibited college partnerships that promoted sports betting. 

Meanwhile, Democrats in the House introduced a bill in January that would set aside 50% of revenue from a federal tax on sports wagers for gambling addiction treatment and research.

Whyte said the action is much needed.

“The federal government collected, last year, more than $8 billion in gambling tax revenue. Yet they don’t put a single penny of those windfall profits back into the health system,” he said.

Katie Mogg is an intern at NBC News.

Aria Bendix is the breaking health reporter for NBC News Digital.