memoir writing meaning

While serving as memoirs, they also serve as historical records, which is something many other memoirs end up being. Thus, in these early examples, we can see both the personal and historical reasons for jotting down one’s specific memories.

As time went on, other people, be them important politicians or simply chroniclers of their era, were writing memoirs. Some of these included  Sarashina Nikki of the Japanese Heian period (8th to 12th century); there were also several European memoir examples from the Middle Ages to the Renaissance .

The 18th and 19th centuries brought us closer to what we could consider more modern examples of memoirs. While these centuries were full of memoirs written by privileged politicians or aristocrats, there was at least one that broke the mold a bit.

Henry David Thoreau’s  Walden  is one of the most popular and well-known memoir examples in literature. Focusing on the two years, two months, and two days the author spent in a cabin, the memoir has Thoreau cover many subjects. These include living on your own to identifying plant life around him, among many other things.

You can learn more about who Thoreau was in the video below.

What is a memoir  •  Henry David Thoreau's memoir meaning

As access to writing materials and typing increased, and as the world became a bit more modern, more “regular” memoirs started to pop up. This was especially true during some of our darkest times, specifically the two world wars. From these great wars came memoirs from soldiers, victims, and survivors, including those in the trenches of World War I or in the concentration camps of World War II.

Closer to the 21st century, memoirs became even bigger as normal everyday people began jotting down their memories. In many cases, these memories were to preserve the history of a person or their family, as they would otherwise be lost without being written down.

In other cases, memoirs have served as forms of expression from the individual writers, detailing events in their life and the impact it had.

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Memoir Examples

Memoir vs. autobiography.

Reading the memoir definition, you may be wondering what exactly makes it different from an autobiography. Both are just chatting about yourself, right?

Both forms may indeed be chatting about oneself, but there is a difference between a memoir and an autobiography. A memoir is a look at a specific period from the writer’s life, or a sequence of specific periods that have thematic links. An autobiography, meanwhile, is the writer’s entire life (up until writing, of course).

Autobiographies also tend to be more rigorously fact-checked, while a memoir can be a bit more fast and loose with the facts as the writer weaves a story.

Of course, there are exceptions to this rule; sometimes an autobiography has some elements that aren’t totally truthful, but that’s usually frowned upon.

While they’re distinct in definition, the two terms occasionally overlap since their qualifications are a bit subjective.

Types of Memoirs

Because “memoir” is a pretty general term, there are many different ways the writing style can manifest. Over the years, a few categories for the genre have cropped up, though there are various schools of thought on the subject.

Personal Memoir

When you think of a memoir, this is probably the type that comes to mind. In this memoir, an author tackles a formative, personal experience from their life.

“I was small-boned and skinny, but more than able to make up for that with sheer meanness.”

— Mary Karr,  The Liar's Club

There’s no limit to what this experience could be, but examples may be meeting a first love, enduring an illness, or navigating a relationship with a parent.

Portrait Memoir

With a portrait memoir, the subject is someone other than the author. Of course, the memoir is still through the eyes of the author, and they probably play a big role in the narrative, but the real focus lies with someone else.

“My father had lost most of the sight in his right eye by the time he’d reached eighty-six, but otherwise he seemed in phenomenal health for a man his age when he came down with what the Florida doctor diagnosed, incorrectly, as Bell’s palsy…”

— Philip Roth,  Patrimony

This might be a parent (the amount of memoirs about parents, particularly complicated dads, could fill the Pacific Ocean), a best friend, a sibling, a teacher — really anyone who the author knows intimately. The film Aftersun loosely falls into the Complicated Dad subcategory of the portrait memoir.

Political Memoirs

This memoir is usually written by, you guessed it, politicians. It can be a personal memoir in form, but often with the larger goal of ingratiating themselves to the reader to get their vote or support their platform.

“Of all the rooms and halls and landmarks that make up the White House and its grounds, it was the West Colonnade that I loved best.”

— Barack Obama,  A Promised Land

Political memoirs can also be written by people who aren’t politicians but are trying to further a political goal, like an activist. Some political memoir examples: Che Guevara's The Motorcycle Diaries , Michelle Obama’s Becoming , or Tony Blair’s A Journey .

Public Memoir

This type of memoir is a bit similar to the political memoir because it’s written by a person who’s already famous. But the public memoir usually doesn’t have a political ax to grind (at least, that’s not a requirement), it’s just a memoir by someone who’s well-known. 

“Plainly, due to my high and solitary place in the world—am I not the Living Buddha (0r is that Richard Gere?)—and to my cold nature and to my refusal to conform to warm mature family values, I am doomed to be the eternal outsider…”

— Gore Vidal,  Palimpsest

This celebrity will write about being famous and hanging out with other famous people, and they’ll make the GDP of a small country in book sales.

Travel Memoir

People like traveling, but it’s expensive and usually exhausting. So sometimes, we prefer to read about someone else who’s spending the money and traveling around the world.

“When you’re traveling in India—especially through holy sites and Ashrams—you see a lot of people wearing beads around their necks.”

— Elizabeth Gilbert,  Eat, Pray, Love

A travel memoir can take a lot of different forms, but there’s one constant: the writer is moving around.

Writing Memoirs

How to write a memoir.

If these categories didn’t already make it clear, there’s no one way to write a memoir. It can be a straight-forward narrative or an avant-garde collection of scenes. But, hey, a few helpful tips can’t hurt.

You can learn a bit more about writing memoirs in the video below.

How to write a memoir

Know the “why”.

The most important question to ask yourself when you’re about to write the next great memoir is, “Why will people care about this?” If you don’t have a good answer, you may be writing a journal entry — which is totally fine; journaling is great and important in its own right.

But with a memoir, it’s crucial to have a greater purpose. This personal story may mean a lot to you (and if it doesn't, why are you writing it down at all?). But if someone doesn’t know you, why should they care that your sophomore year girlfriend broke up with you because she didn’t believe in your dream of becoming the premiere soft serve ice cream provider of Illinois?

There are many reasons a reader might care. Maybe your story in a larger sense is about young love and big dreams — we can all relate to that. Maybe the story is filled with drama: she broke up with you by pushing you into a vat of soft serve extract, and you spent months trying to get the solution out of your hair. Or maybe you’re the founder of Dairy Queen, and this is a glimpse into how it all started.

Beginning, Middle, End

It may seem obvious, but this fundamental rule of storytelling can be tricky when writing a memoir. The nature of a memoir means that there is going to be a story before and after the memoir ends.

My story goes something like this…

There’s no one way to find the beginning and end points of your memoir, but primarily, this should be rooted in the first piece of advice: have you achieved the “why”? If so, end it.

Don’t Get Stuck on Facts

This doesn’t mean lie. But if you feel the need to inform the reader of every detail of the story, it’s going to become a pretty dull read. It might all be true, but the “why” will have left the building.

Life doesn’t work in story arcs — things are messy, beginnings aren’t really beginnings and ends aren’t really ends. Of course, you want your memoir to reflect that to a certain extent, but you also want it to be readable. So omitting facts and cleaning up narrative elements (even if it’s not the complete and total truth) becomes crucial to the memoir style. The truth lies in the grand strokes, the emotions and characters.

Memoir Movies

Memoirs in cinema.

Memoirs have definitely been around longer than cinema, but movies about people and their lives (specifically biographies, aka biopics ) have been pretty common since the medium’s inception. Some of these movies could even count as memoir-esque, like Young Mr. Lincoln (1939), which, instead of chronicling Abraham Lincoln’s tenure as president (or his entire life), examines his time as a lawyer in the 1830s.

What is a memoir  •  Young Mr. Lincoln

So while there have been plenty of biographies, many of the most well-known movies based on memoirs have been fairly recent. One of the most high profile of these is Eat, Pray, Love , a 2006 memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert that turned into a 2010 movie starring Julia Roberts.

Eat, Pray, Love  •  A pinnacle in memoir movies

But even before that we had Girl, Interrupted , a 1993 memoir by Susanna Kaysen which made it into a film in 1999 starring Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie. The opening lines of the film even retain the memoir feel.

Take a look at them below, with the script that we imported into StudioBinder’s screenwriting software .

Girl, Interrupted  •   Read the entire opening

The voiceover feels like Kaysen answering the “why do we care” question that we outlined in our tips section.

And then of course there was  The Basketball Diaries , a Jim Carroll memoir from 1978 that turned into a Leonardo DiCaprio movie in 1995. Here's the opening scene and credits.

Memoir movies  •  The Basketball Diaries

From 2009’s  Julie & Julia  (based on two separate memoirs) to  The Theory of Everything  2014’s (the Stephen Hawking memoir written by his wife Jane Hawking) to 2018’s  Beautiful Boy  (based on two memoirs about the same subject), there has been no shortage of memoir based films in the last two decades.

Memoir movies  •  The Theory of Everything

Some are more successful and acclaimed than others, but like novels, there are plenty out there for filmmakers to adapt. And don’t forget there are also movies based on true events that weren’t chronicled in memoirs before, so if you want to adapt a moment in your life as a script for a movie, go for it.

How to Write an Adaptation

Now that we have covered memoirs and movies based on memoirs, it’s time to look at how you might go about adapting one. We cover the step-by-step process of adapting a book for the screen, all with examples and even some quotes.

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Everything You Need to Know About Writing a Memoir

Table of contents, introduction, what types of memoirs are there, preparing to write a memoir, how to choose a theme for your memoir, how to create a memoir outline, publishing your memoir.

Today I’m talking about a captivating, life-changing, beautiful story. Yours . 

It’s a story about the most meaningful parts of your life. The people you’ve met along the way, who each gave you something extraordinary. The life lessons you could only learn through experience. A tale of love and loss, time and place, luck and opportunity. 

It’s a story only you can tell. And yes, you  should tell it.

A well-written memoir can have blockbuster-worthy plot lines, yet it’s so much more than a paperback by the pool. Real-life experience—life, family, trauma, loss, love—are powerful and profound when shared firsthand with others. 

The art of storytelling has been a proven tool throughout human history, one that can be just as powerful for the storyteller as it is for all who listen. It’s practically hard-coded in our DNA.

You’re reading this article, which means there is a fairly good chance you have a personal story that aches to be released. Your first step in writing a memoir is to understand and own your motivations for doing so. If financial gain is at the top of your list, I’d encourage you to discover a stronger driving force. Money is a mercurial muse. Even if you don’t make a dime, writing your memoir could be a deeply rewarding experience—one that may rival the actual story itself. (More on this in a bit.)

Writing your memoir will also be a process, and—if I’m honest—a sometimes painful one. After over 20 years of working with authors, I’ve walked through memoir-writing with the most well-intentioned writers. I’ve witnessed them flying through a manuscript, alight with memory. I’ve watched them take themselves by surprise as writing their story reveals new insight into who they really are and who they’ve become.

I’ve also seen them run headlong into writer’s block as they struggle with too many words, feelings, and outside opinions. I’ve seen them come up empty at the end of their stories because they’ve chased the wrong plotline. I’ve seen them get in their own way, rush the process, and make unfortunate technical mistakes that erase their life’s work with a press of a button or a crash of a server.

And that’s why I’m writing this article. To walk you through the most critical steps of bringing your story to life, from figuring out where to start to finding someone to help you publish (those of you who are further along in this process are welcome to jump ahead). 

After you settle into your true motivations, the next step is to get absolutely clear about what you want to achieve with your story. 

Will it be a personal processing tool for you? Are you hoping to translate your experiences into words of wisdom for others? Are you looking to account for every single detail of your life? (That’s a whole other story—more on that below.)

The Teaching Memoir

Some life lessons leave a legacy. Whether it’s a cautionary tale or an invitation to live life to the fullest, a teaching memoir story weaves in wisdom while challenging and equipping readers to overcome their own obstacles. These books are a type of “ practical nonfiction ” and are some of my favorites. There is something special about empowering your readers to find answers, healing, and even peace—and knowing your life experiences will help them. It’s like you were born to do it.

The Personal Memoir

While some may argue that every story is a teaching experience, if your deepest desire is to focus on retelling your journey during a specific period, a sequence of events, or an overarching theme of your life, you’re writing a personal memoir. Personal memoirs are a powerful invitation to readers to join you on your adventure and experience your unique perspective. You’re simply (read: not always easily!) recounting your experiences as vibrantly as you lived them—to entertain your readers, to move and inspire them, and to honor the life you’ve had.

They may still learn something—but that lesson is theirs, not yours.

The Difference Between a Memoir and an Autobiography

Capturing every detail of your life from birth through the present might be your passion project—but that makes it an autobiography, not a memoir. An autobiography is a biographical summary of your entire life written by the only person with all the intimate details (psst…that’s you). While occasionally anecdotal, this long-spanning story is more fact and detail-driven, preserving your legacy for generations to come.  

On the other hand, a memoir gives a snapshot in time and describes the transformative, meaningful, sometimes amusing experiences of your life—or a larger life theme that was supported by specific, aligned events. 

Knowing the difference between an autobiography and a memoir is important at this stage—and can save you tons of time in the writing and editing process. 

What Do the Best Memoirs Have in Common?

I believe all memoirs give us a gift in their own way—which is why I always recommend that aspiring memoir writers read a ton of them! The more you expose yourself to the nuances of personal narrative, the more you can sharpen your storytelling skills and bring your memoir to life.

You’ll find, as I say in the video below, that all great memoirs have a few important things in common—from the techniques used in the writing process to the writing “tricks”  harnessed to engage the reader.

Are you ready to write your transformational story? Find out here.

With your motivations and memoir type solidified, it’s time to get your writing tools together. More than just a notebook or a laptop, real writers (and yes, that’s you!) know there’s hard work ahead. 

The better you prepare and train yourself for this process, the easier—and more satisfying!—it will be. In this section, I’ll show you how to remove common obstacles and build confidence in your writing.

Your Emotional Toolbox

• Make sure you are ready. Of course, “ready” can mean different things to different writers, but the process to get there is often the same. Ask yourself several questions ( these three are my favorite ) to make sure you’ve equipped yourself for what will happen as you translate the story in your mind into an experience the world can read. Are you ready to be honest? Exposed? Criticized? Recognized? Knowing where you stand is one thing. Keeping your feet on solid ground is another. Memoir writing is a story of its own. It often can’t be rushed, but it can be coaxed along.
• Deepen your “Why” If you skipped the intro to this article, you missed one of the most important parts of the memoir-writing experience—your motivations. Your “why” is what gives you a voice to all that you’ve experienced. It’s the driving force that breaks through writer’s block and the energy that keeps you at your laptop into the wee morning hours. Perhaps you are journeying toward your own healing , and your memoir is a part of that process. Understanding how writing can help you heal —and help others find healing through your words—will give you firm footing as you put pen to paper. Maybe you are writing your memoir to become a famous author. Perhaps you are a local celebrity looking to expand your reach. You’ll learn as my clients have that going from local to national sensation requires certain qualities that go beyond your story. Is your story born to be a bestseller? Are you ready to be known for it?
• Move past common road bumps As with anything worth doing, writing a memoir will come with challenges . From fears that go beyond the opinions and feelings of others to failing memories of exactly how it happened, every memoir writer experiences some of the same hurdles. The good news? There are ways around them. Here are 3 road bumps you’ll most likely encounter—and what to do when you hit them .  
• What will your mother think? “Fear of mom” is a real thing. Hurting those we love by telling how they shaped (and even hurt) us is a reality—and often a (permanent) setback for many authors. You can work through this. If your motivations, heart, and goals are in the right place, your hesitation doesn’t have to halt your memoir momentum. Learn how to tell your story (even if your mom won’t like it ) .

Your Technical Toolbox

• Make a back-up Nothing sucks the air out of a room like the desperate gasp of an author who lost a manuscript. The time spent pouring out your best deserves a failsafe—even (and especially) if you use a cloud service. This video will walk you through how to back up your manuscript with confidence. For my skimmers and “step-skippers” out there, don’t gloss over this one. Get your backup in place at the very beginning. This goes for all of your research, pictures, videos, and prompts, too.
• Scrivener Scrivener is the go-to app for writers that takes you from rough draft to final copy. From cork boards and organization tools to the ability to work a section at a time or to view your entire masterpiece, Scrivener provides everything you need for a strong start and even stronger finish. (Find out what I love about Scrivener here .)
• Recommended books For those of you fact-finders who really like to research a project before you dive in, I get it. It’s overwhelming to write your life’s story, especially if you don’t feel like you understand all the moving parts. I’ve pulled together a list of five books to get you started . You don’t have to read all of them, but if you want more information on how to begin, I encourage you to pick one and crack it open as soon as possible.

30-Minute Writing Exercises

• Journaling If you want to be really good at something, you have to work at it—and writing is an art that benefits from repeated attempts, prompts, and practice. These powerful journaling ideas will help you become more comfortable—and more effective—at bringing the deepest, darkest, or most meaningful parts of your story to light. If you want to write a compelling memoir, you have to give yourself the gift and space of vulnerability. It’s in this precious space where honest “aha” moments happen and your inner narrative can open up. Journaling provides you a safe place to practice the words that best describe what you are truly trying to say.
• 100 Moments Exercise One of my favorite writing prompts, the 100 Moments Exercise, is a powerful way to gain insight into your life’s moments and plot twists. Download it here and get started—not just with the prompt, but with your entire memoir. (It’s that motivating!).
• Writing Your Life Story Exercise In the video below, I walk you through one exercise I recommend to everyone thinking about writing their memoir. Note: This video is about 12 minutes long, but the exercise should take you about a half hour. I promise you won’t regret it. Selecting the scenes for your memoir is one of the most important elements of writing an effective story. 

A theme is a transformative thread that weaves your story together and what allows your readers to connect more deeply with your words and themselves. The stronger and clearer the theme, the more satisfying your memoir will be to write—and read.

As frustrating as it can be for the writer, these transformative themes don’t always make themselves known from the beginning. Sometimes we’re just too close to the details to see the big picture taking shape. 

Get step-by-step tips on finding and choosing a theme.

Taking a step back—and a few steps above—the narrative process is a great way to catch a glimpse of your meaningful moments from a different perspective. You’ve already done this naturally as a part of your evolution and growth as a human—haven’t you seen commonalities, trends, and answers that are so much clearer in hindsight? 

Your goal in uncovering or weaving a  theme is to help your readers make those connections without working so hard to find them. 

Download this FREE 30-minute theme exercise to give your memoir greater purpose, strength, and meaning.  I recommend taking the time to do this work before you sit down to write your story. It will ensure that your memoir is not “just a story”, but an inspirational window into a better life lived.

In addition, here’s an exercise I often recommend to my authors who are struggling to rally their words around a universal theme.

• List your best life stories. I find it’s best if you write each down on a 3×5 card.
• Add what you think is the theme (or themes) for each story. How did you arrive from Point A to Point B?
• Identify how each story relates to the others. Do they share a common character? Feeling? Lesson?
• Look for repeating themes. Often the theme is the path our life journey has taken. How have the stories you’ve chosen moved you along that path?

You’ve got your “why”, your tools, and your theme—now it’s time to get organized. I always advise my authors to begin with a memoir outline. While it can be tempting for many authors to just “jump in,” this is a recipe for disappointment. Your story deserves a structure.

Many aspiring authors writing a memoir tend to jump right from journaling to storytelling, only to find that a bulk of their words ends up on the editing room floor. Do yourself, your readers, and your editor a favor and start with a plan. You may find, as so many successful writers have, that building an outline is almost as rewarding as writing itself—it’s where your theme takes shape, and it can allow you to deepen the impact with a thoughtful, purposeful approach.  

When it comes to writing a memoir, all details are not equal. Take off your sandals and walk your story in someone else’s shoes. What’s it like from your reader’s perspective? What details do they care most about? What elements and events keep the pages turning?

Basics of an outline

In my experience, if an author doesn’t start with a developed outline, the story will include too many details that slow it down. Keep readers engaged by setting the scenes and building the groundwork for your story’s most pivotal moments. 

Use these secrets of building a memoir outline , and you’ll get the big picture view at the beginning of the writing process. This will allow you to make the hard story cuts before you fall in love with words you used to write them. It will also save you time, energy, and that tell-tale heartache that comes from letting those loose ends go.

Never-fail book outline templates

Writing a best-selling memoir—or even just a gratifying personal story—requires a strong narrative arc and story structure. It cannot be “wung.”  Download three classic book outlines here.

So how do you go about writing a  good outline ? The best advice I can give you is this.

• Write your memoir in “scenes.” Let us as readers into the narrative by giving us an important visual context.
• Invite us in. Bring your readers into the experience by making it easy for them to imagine themselves as you.
• Don’t get tied to time. You don’t have to stick to chronological order. Flashbacks happen—even in real life. An outline can help you determine what order is the most meaningful—how your story unfolds can be different from the order in which it occurred. Learn more secrets here .

Another quick tip I recommend to my clients is using screenwriting techniques, as they are easy to learn (there are a TON out there), and they’ve really honed the craft. Books I like that will help you with this are Story by Robert McKee, The Writer’s Journey by Christopher Vogler, and Save the Cat! by Blake Snyder.

The last consideration as you write your memoir is the question of whether you want to self-publish or seek traditional publishing. There are benefits and drawbacks to both routes—and one may be more available to you than others, depending on your story, your motivations, and your investment comfort in the process.  

What Types of Memoirs Do Traditional Publishers Want?

Three types of memoirs are particularly desirable for bigger publishing houses.

The Celebrity Memoir

Traditional publishers love a celebrity memoir. Why? Because readers love a celebrity memoir. Celebrity sells. When Gabrielle Union sold We’re Going to Need More Wine , people bought it up. 

If you’re a celebrity, the first thing I want to say is thank you for reading this blog! If you’re not (and that’s more likely the case—at least for now!), it’s probably best to explore another category.

The Train Crash Memoir

The triumph or “train crash” memoir tells an almost unbelievable story. Authors of these stories have lived through tragic, devastating, or fantastic circumstances. They transport a reader into experiences they will most likely never know firsthand, all the while relating the narrative to the more universal needs, desires, and challenges most of us face. A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishmael Beah is my favorite example of this type. 

Novel Memoir

Big house publishing firms are also interested in picking up novel memoirs, stories that read like fiction but are grounded and vetted in real-life stories. These memoirs are exceptionally well-written and are often the products of writers who have taken decades to hone the craft of captivating and almost carnal storytelling. A personal favorite of mine is Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott.

Self-Publishing Your Memoir

If your story doesn’t fall into one of those clear categories for traditional publishing, you still have several ways to share your story with the public. Self-publishing is a fantastic option that offers new and established authors benefits that are rarely offered as a part of a bigger book deal.

• You own your intellectual property.
• You keep all profit.
• You maintain control of all aspects and direction of your story.
• No rejection letters in the mail, deadline stress, or lengthy print process.

With the above said, self-publishing does have associated upfront investments. Professional editing, formatting, designing, proofreading, and marketing come at a cost (around $10k, on average). To pinch pennies here may cost you big—do it all on your own, and you may miss an opportunity (or a mistake) that could change the entire outcome of your efforts.

So, are you ready to write your transformational story ?

You don’t have to answer that with an exclamation point just yet. I’ll be excited if you are more ready—or more certain of your decision—than when you first started reading. Whether or not you use all of my suggested resources or make it to publishing, I want to encourage you to keep writing. Memoirs are one of the best gifts you can give yourself—if others benefit, all the better. Let your writing, your journals, and your ever-growing arsenal of experiences keep reminding you how much life, people, places and events have to offer, teach, and inspire us. 

Live it up. Feel it deep. And write it down.

13 thoughts on “Everything You Need to Know About Writing a Memoir”

Hi Kelly ! Thank you so much for your help and encouragement. I was not happy having to write my memoir following an outline but you were right : it is more readable and clear now.

Kind regards, T. Diane Nguyen

Diane, sometimes the things that are the hardest to do end up being the best to have done!

Wow, Kelly! This is the most comprehensive compilation of everything any aspiring author would want to know about writing a memoir. I love having a single source with so many links for additional information with more detailed aspects. I am writing my first narrative memoir and I am almost halfway through. I read your book before I started, which helped tremendously and yet, I learned even more helpful tips from exploring everything you included in this post. I am ordering the books you recommended next and I’ll be sure to leave a 5 star review on Amazon for your book while I’m there! Thanks again for sharing your wisdom!

Thank YOU for your kind words, and we are so glad to hear that it was helpful. Enjoy the books you ordered (I certainly will appreciate your review too!) and keep me posted on your progress.

Thank You for this information and very important subject How To. You are absolutely Brilliant.

I am so Blessed to receive your emails and your professional help, experience, and encouragement.

Carolyn, you are so welcome!

Thank you for sharing your detailed advice on how to start a Memoir!! I am 62 years old and have lived a life that some people may wonder and want to learn from!! I was born December 6, 1958 to an 18 year old girl and a 34 year old father……. my mother decided to break up with my father, Tom when I was 2 years young….. My sister, Carla was born a year before they broke up!! My mother found out my father was married. She only knew he was a soldier in the U.S. Navy…….

Julia, thanks for sharing, and I am glad you found this helpful. You might also want to check out the kn literary YouTube channel, as there is a lot of information about memoir-writing there as well.

Hi Georgiana!

So glad to hear that you enjoyed this week’s post. That’s a great idea! I will make sure to pass your idea along to the team.

Loved this very well-written <3. Self-help books need to be thought through, and you need to learn a couple of things to come up with a meaningful one. Let this article The Golden Rules of Writing a Self-Help Book help you know the golden rules for writing a self-help book that can change your readers’ lives for the better.

This post was truly worthwhile to read. I wanted to say thank you for the key points you have pointed out as they are enlightening. Check this out –> The Keys to Writing a Powerful Memoir

This post was truly worthwhile to read. I wanted to say thank you for the key points you have pointed out as they are enlightening.

Check this out Going … Going … Thank you so much

I completely agree with what you have written. I hope this post could reach more people as this was truly an interesting post.

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What Is a Memoir? Definition, Usage, and Literary Examples

Memoir definition.

A  memoir  (MIM-wahr) is a literary form in which the author relates and reflects on experiences from their own life. Memoirs and  autobiographies  share many similarities, as both are types of self-written  biographies . But while an autobiography provides a comprehensive account of someone’s life, a memoir is a series of formative or notable memories or events that impacted the author in some way. Memoirs also focus on the author’s thoughts and feelings about those events, what they learned, and how they integrated the experiences into their life.

The term  memoir  comes from the early 15th century Anglo-French word  memorie , meaning “written record” or “something written to be kept in mind.”

The History of the Memoir Genre

The literary genre of memoir has been around since ancient times. One of the first prominent memoirs was  Commentaries on the Gallic Wars  by Julius Caesar, in which Caesar recounted his exploits fighting in the Gallic Wars. During the Middle Ages, historians Geoffrey of Villehardouin and Jean de Joinville and diplomat Philippe de Commines wrote notable memoirs. French princess Margaret of Valois was the first woman to write a modern memoir during this period.

Memoirs have been (and continue to be) a popular genre. Henry David Thoreau released  Walden  in 1854, recording his experiences living simply in the New England woods.  Out of Africa  (1937) recounts Isak Dinesen’s time attempting to start a coffee plantation in Kenya.  A Moveable Feast  (1964) is Ernest Hemingway’s account of his years as an American expatriate in Paris in the 1920s.  Travels with Charley: In Search of America  is a travel memoir by John Steinbeck, chronicling an epic road trip with his poodle. All of these have become classics of the genre.

The Elements of Memoirs

Nearly all memoirs contain six main elements that serve to communicate the story of the author’s life clearly and realistically to the reader.

An Emotional Journey

The memoirist goes through some type of emotional evolution over the course of their story, which helps readers identify with the author’s struggle. Cheryl Strayed’s  Wild  is about Strayed grieving the end of her marriage and the death of her mother, reflected in her challenging backpacking trip along the Pacific Crest Trail.

Obstacles are the things standing in the way of the author getting what they want or need. Overcoming obstacles builds tension within a story and keeps the reader turning the page.  Prozac Nation  by Elizabeth Wurtzel charts her struggle to conquer depression as a young woman in 1990s America. The obstacle of mental illness is further complicated by other, more mundane obstacles in Wurtzel’s life, like going to college, working her first professional job, and maintaining interpersonal relationships. Ultimately, Wurtzel doesn’t so much defeat her depression as she does manage it through medication and other supports.

• Point of View

Memoirs are always told in first person  point of view , using  I / me / my  language. This makes the story personal and the experiences subjective. In fact, objectivity is difficult to achieve in memoirs since the  narrative  is filtered through the author/subject’s  perspective . Author Steve Almond once said, “Memoirs are radically subjective versions of objective events.”

A memoir is tied together by a common topic, premise, or lesson. This theme is not the author’s life as a whole; if it is, then the book is an autobiography. A memoirist doesn’t set out to capture all the critical moments of a life—only those that have special significance. For instance, Anne Lamott’s  Bird by Bird  is a book of writing instructions connected by the larger theme of lessons Lamott has learned about life and faith.

Perhaps the most defining characteristic of any memoir or autobiography, truth is essential to telling a relatable story. Even in cases where an author had an epic, larger-than-life, or downright strange experience, the emotional truth of the described events must resonate with readers to some extent. Readers trust that a memoirist will tell the truth, and if the memoirist violates that trust, it can be scandalous at best and career-destroying at worst.

For example, after the publication of James Frey’s memoir  A Million Little Pieces , evidence emerged that Frey invented key parts of the story. The revelation rocked the literary world; his lack of honesty undermined what readers believe is an authorial responsibility to accurately tell a story, as well as the publisher’s duty to truthfully market their books.

Every memoirist writes their book in their own unique  voice . Voice is the style in which a writer writes: the way they convey their thoughts, their word choices and patterns, and their storytelling approach. A reader finishes a memoir with a distinct idea of the author’s voice in their head. For example, Carrie Fisher’s  Shockaholic  chronicles the actor’s affection for electroconvulsive therapy, which she feels saved her life multiple times over. Fisher blends her wisecracking sense of humor with a serious dedication to raising mental health awareness and helping others, resulting in a voice uniquely her own.

Memoir Styles

Memoirists can tell their stories in a number of ways. Framing devices are popular structures for memoirs, opening and closing with more recent events and, in between, going back in time to earlier events.

Many authors construct their memoirs as a series of anecdotes or short snapshots about their lives. This has been a popular approach in recent years with several notable essay collections receiving widespread attention and landing on bestseller lists. For instance, actors Anna Kendrick and Mindy Kaling released personal essay collections largely centered around their Hollywood experiences.

Famous people, however, are not the only ones who write successful memoirs. Ordinary folks often have just as, if not, more interesting stories to tell.  A Three Dog Life  by Abigail Thomas explores the author’s life after her husband suffers a traumatic brain injury;  Julie & Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously  charts Julie Powell’s attempts to cook all the recipes in Julia Child’s  Mastering the Art of French Cooking ; and  Running with Scissors  is about a very bizarre period in the childhood of writer Augusten Burroughs, in which his mother’s mentally unstable psychiatrist becomes Burroughs’s guardian.

Other common memoir subjects include addiction, mental illness, difficult childhoods, spiritual or religious quests, travelogues, and political careers.

The Function of Memoirs

A memoir gives an author an opportunity to share what they have learned from specific life experiences. Instead of recording every major life event, a memoir focuses on certain details around a central theme. This approach helps the author find clarity and meaning in their lives.

Memoirs also help readers gain insights, both into the lives of others and their own. Memoirs invite readers into someone else’s mind, and in doing so provide answers, a sense of humor, common ground, and/or interesting or unique stories that speak to life’s challenges or absurdities.

Notable Memoirists

• Sarah M. Bloom,  The Yellow House
• Charles M. Blow,  Fire Shut Up in My Bones
• Augusten Burroughs,  Running with Scissors ,  A Wolf at the Table
• Joan Didion,  The Year of Magical Thinking ,  Blue Nights
• Isak Dinesen,  Out of Africa ,  Shadows on the Grass
• Carrie Fisher,  Wishful Drinking ,  Shockaholic
• James Frey,  A Million Little Pieces
• Joy Harjo,  Crazy Brave
• Saeed Jones,  How We Fight for Our Lives
• Mary Karr,  The Liar’s Club ,  Cherry
• Frank McCourt,  Angela’s Ashes
• Patti Smith,  Just Kids ,  M Train

Examples of Memoirs

1. Elie Wiesel,  Night

Night  tells the story of Wiesel’s time in the Auschwitz and Buchenwald concentration camps during World War II. The memoir opens with Wiesel and his family fleeing their small Transylvanian hometown before Nazis capture them. When they arrive at Auschwitz, the Nazis separate Wiesel and his father from his mother and sister. Grappling with his faith and fighting for survival, Wiesel must also care for his ailing father.

Eventually, the Nazis send them to other camps before the two ultimately arrive at Buchenwald. Wiesel’s father dies just before the Allies liberate the camp, and though Wiesel survives, the experience haunts him forever.  Night  is not only about his experiences but what those experiences taught him about humanity and forgiveness.

2. Joan Didion,  The Year of Magical Thinking

The Year of Magical Thinking  is Didion’s record of the first year of her life after the death of her husband, John Gregory Dunne. One evening, Dunne suddenly collapses, and Didion’s life is forever changed. She devotes the next year to analyzing his death, trying to make sense of it, while navigating the turbulent waters of her own grief. She relies on the power of words, medical and psychological research, and her own “magical thinking”—the false belief that her thoughts or actions will change the course of events—to get her through.

3. Roxane Gay,  Hunger

Hunger  is Gay’s memoir of her relationship with her body and food. This relationship is rooted in an early sexual trauma, and she subsequently turns to food as a means of protecting her vulnerable body from the world. She thinks that by overeating, she will make her body unappealing to men and thereby prevent another violation. Gay struggles with eating and her weight for many years afterward, and there is no easy resolution. She ultimately begins to embrace her own worth and understands that her value is not in any way connected to her size.

Further Resources on Memoir

In  The New Yorker , Stephanie Burt discusses  “Literary Style and the Lessons of the Memoir.”

A University of California, Berkeley, website delves into the  history of memoirs  and profiles a few notable contributions to the genre.

Pat McNees compiles several anecdotes about  voice in memoir .

Goodreads has a list of  popular memoirs .

Reader’s Digest put together a list of  17 Memoirs Everyone Should Read .

Related Terms

• Autobiography
• Frame Story

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Literary Style and the Lessons of Memoir

By Stephanie Burt

In his book “Memoir: An Introduction,” from 2011, the scholar G. Thomas Couser argues that we go to the genre not so much for detail or style as for “wisdom and self-knowledge,” for what the main character, who is always the author, has learned. Sometimes, though, the style is the lesson. Earlier this year, the Seattle poet Paul Hunter published “Clownery,” which follows Hunter from his birth in the rural Midwest, through college, marriage, fatherhood, divorce, high-school and college teaching, grease- and gear-filled shirtsleeve jobs, caregiving for an ill sister and playing with grandchildren. The chapters conclude with Hunter’s late-life meditations, “trying to keep from a lip-smacking bitterness” as he imagines “the end of the planet as a hospitable home.” Hunter published his first chapbook in 1970, and has been giving us verse about rural and wild America, and practical prose about sustainable farming, every few years since 2000. In “ Clownery ,” rather than using “I” or “me,” or naming any characters, Hunter tells his own story as that of a nameless “clown.”

This simple device has astonishing effects, making Hunter’s life at once more generic—it’s easier to see yourself in “the clown” than in “Paul Hunter”—and funnier and sadder. “One morning out in the country the little clown’s mother was washing her mother’s hair in the kitchen pantry, behind the curtain where they boiled their water and took their washtub baths,” he writes. And later: “The clown knew nothing of planning, and snagged on a nail ripped his pants. Got caught and stayed caught till he was practically naked.” The floppy-shoes aspects of puberty and old age, when we may feel at once too big and too small, too late and too early, fit the conceit almost too easily: “Aging for clowns was more of a ripening that just went on and on. . . . Clowns were born weepy with blubber lips anyhow, and pratfalls demanded lifelong practice,” Hunter writes. “Clowns were always at an awkward stage,” “hiding twitchy flat feet . . . in big shoes.” Sentence by sentence, he manages to sound like a rambling talker, a corn-fed storyteller, even though, each time you finish a page or a chapter, you realize just how elegantly assembled the volume is.

Hunter’s unusual autobiography is one of a few recent books that reinvent, or fracture, the memoir’s form. All come from small presses; all come long after the stylish, formally inventive, and popular books of the late-nineties memoir boom (Dave Eggers’s “ A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius ,” for example, and Lauren Slater’s “ Lying ”). Popular memoirs these days are more direct: it’s generally easy to say what makes the lives they chronicle stand out, so that readers and critics focus on their subjects, whether it’s Appalachia (J. D. Vance’s “ Hillbilly Elegy ”), weight, shame, and trauma (Roxane Gay’s “ Hunger ”), or plant science (Hope Jahren’s nearly perfect “ Lab Girl ”).

Yet experiments in the genre continue, many of them, like Maggie Nelson’s breakthrough book, “ The Argonauts ,” from 2015, intimately connected to the drive toward new forms, and the use of fragments and white space, in contemporary poetry. These memoirs take cues from prose poems and lyrical essays, like those in Claudia Rankine’s “Citizen.” They also use the devices of poetry—interruption, compression, extended metaphor—to pay book-length attention to individual real lives, and, not coincidentally, they come from independent publishers known for their poets and poems.

The writer Jessica Anne told the Chicago Tribune that she began her book “ A Manual for Nothing ” because “I got excited reading unclassifiable books by authors like Maggie Nelson and Lidia Yuknavitch , and I wanted to try it.” She might have fashioned from the material of her life a conventional memoir of family dysfunction and bad sexual decisions. Anne was raised—or not raised—by a mother whose series of boyfriends rivalled, in their unreliability, her series of ailments, including a struggle with terminal cancer that seems to have been imaginary. Anne attended a “Fame”-style performing-arts high school, dropped out of college, discovered feminism, travelled to London, returned to Chicago to make a career as a singer and monologuist, and settled down (with her husband) to write the book.

“A Manual for Nothing” is part collage of half-remembered facts, part tongue-in-cheek guide to womanhood, and part imaginary dialogue, with speaking parts for Shakespeare’s Cleopatra and for Patti LuPone. Its numbered propositions, many of them in the second person, some of them absurd, accrete a willful resistance to realism, even as they frame what seem to be facts from her life. From “Maroon Chart,” a short chapter about menstruation: “Ovulation stains a period’s blood red as a stage curtain. . . . Once the menstrual blood is bright, you become your father’s next of kin.” Elsewhere in the book, Anne imagines telling a boyfriend, “I thought we were forever! I thought you were the pearl onion of my special, special day!” That’s probably not what she said at the time.

The dismemberment of a life into lists—one of the chapters comprises thirty-three short noun phrases—lets Anne frame events that must have terrified her at the time (her mother’s feigned cancer, for example) not as the most important moments in her life but as material to be assimilated, made into something just inches away from a joke. An unwanted sexual experience is “not quite rape, it’s just one of those awkward nights to giggle and gossip over. . . . Everyone’s laughing at you. Don’t cry.” In order to free herself from her past, and to push back against patriarchy’s expectations—so her chopped-up form suggests—she has to generalize, to satirize, to cut her life story into bits that she can crumple or rearrange. Paul Hunter learns equanimity by presenting his life as the life of a circus clown; Jessica Anne learns to imagine control.

The Brooklyn songwriter and poet Jasmine Dreame Wagner, in her own recent memoir, “ On a Clear Day ,” learns to notice particularity—and to get outside her own wish to generalize, to let big theories explain her life. “On a Clear Day” is a capacious book of traveller’s observations, cultural criticism, and quarter-life-crisis notes about deserts, gallery art, and Brooklyn bohemians in our “golden era of listicles.” It’s the kind of book that tries to take the temperature of a generation (Wagner’s first book appeared in 2012) or at least of a generation’s narrow, gallery-going, artsy urban slice. In Wagner’s Brooklyn, “the cacophony of lo-fi indie rock reverb” is also “the sound of gentrification, “the sound of if only ,” “the sound of why me .” Throughout the volume, Wagner puts her name-checked role models (Didion, Deleuze, C. D. Wright, Leslie Jamison) to clever use.

Learning from poets’ sharply quotable lines, and from travel writers’ set pieces and first-person assertions, Wagner has made a book to dip into, open almost at random, or get lost in. In this respect, the book resembles, as she knows, the endless branching paths of social media, which become her subject: “my method of describing the sunset, its noise, is likewise noise. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr.” Fragmentary prose, composed of disconnected observations and advice, goes back as far as the Bible, but Wagner’s combination of patience and jumpiness, and her search for “the real, presence, materiality” in snippets that keep slipping away from her, seem to fit our age of distraction and hyper-alertness, when we might look up from Proust, or from the Grand Canyon, to see if we’ve been retweeted, or liked, or tagged.

Wagner presents the sublimity of deserts, the welcome alienation of new sites, “the wind’s ripples in the dunes, the dunes’ ripples on the tectonic plate,” almost as a more conventional travelogue would. But her wish to say what she sees works at startling cross-purposes with her critic’s wish to generalize—it is as if she were grasping both for the high-level wisdom that G. Thomas Couser seeks in all memoir and for the ground-level immediacy that Joseph Conrad sought when he said that he wrote fiction “above all, to make you see.” Some gallery artists face the same dilemma: should they focus on visual experience, or on difficult abstract ideas? Sometimes, Wagner manages to follow both Couser and Conrad at once. Her description of winter in the suburbs, for instance, treats the snow as a tangible symbol for—but also as an alternative to—abstraction: “snow blots out the words on the strip mall marquee. It has no part. It speaks of no prior experience . . . . Like chicks swollen in our shells, we must scrape through its opacity to release ourselves.”

That line implies—in harmony with almost all memoirs, but against the grain of some poets—that we still have selves to release. Wagner seems to believe that, but she doesn’t take it for granted: she worries, and who wouldn’t, that the speaking self these days is too like an advertisement, or a means of self-aggrandizement. In her crowded Brooklyn, “in order to secure a voice equal to those of corporations . . . people become brands,” flaunting “the qualities of successful brands, such as media visibility [and] message consistency.” Sell yourself, in other words, or get erased. It’s a grim conclusion for the tradition of memoir, from St. Augustine to our time, and it’s a conclusion that Wagner’s canny fragments, like Anne’s sarcastic lists and Hunter’s tender metaphors, refuse. “The closer I come to my own erasure,” she writes of her time in the Southwestern deserts, “the stronger my work’s urge / to story… If my language is obscure / I’ll vanish in its steam.”

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By Naomi Fry

How To Write A Memoir With Meaning & Influence: The 18 Steps Explained

• February 28, 2022

Memoir writers write nonfiction accounts featuring parts of their own lives. If you are considering writing your own memoir, you aren’t telling your entire life story. Instead, memoir writing is retelling important parts of your own life to get a message or a point across to the reader. It is an intimate and personal experience, and learning how to write a memoir can be a challenge.

This article will share suggestions and ideas that memoir writers use in memoir writing to help you start writing about the significant parts of your own life. With enough practice and dedication, you can learn how to write a memoir that is touching and interesting to readers.

How Long Should a Memoir Be?

A memoir has to appeal to human emotions and make the readers’ interest in it emerge and soar. A memoir averages between 60,000 to 120,000 words in length. Writers may go beyond this word count if there is a need for additional details when detailing significant event.

Nevertheless, a new writer of a memoir is generally advised to write anywhere from 60,000 to 75,000 words to enhance their memoir writing skills first and allow themselves the exposure of writing it without pressure or the need to resort to many ornamented statements to reach a longer length. Each memoir writer should optimize the memoir’s length to justify the significance of the experience being highlighted.

Memoir Characteristics

Below are the characteristics of memoir that you have to take into account during your writing journey:

• It should contain the truth.  Though some might argue that truth is relative, as long as you are not deliberately fabricating a story, it can be considered a personal truth and, therefore, could qualify as a memoir.
• It can be an inner story or an actual event.  What is happening inside the your head can be included in your memoir. For instance, how anxiety crippled your ability to perform at a pivotal moment in your story.
• It establishes a story arc.  Despite focusing on some significant events, the memoir still has to flow smoothly from the beginning to its conclusion.
• It concentrates on key messages, specific events, or a particular time.  A memoir should not tell every single detail about your life. People want to read about the significant events that shaped who you are today.
• It contains personal obstacles or emotional turmoil.  The purpose is for the reader to resonate, find meaning, and learn something worthwhile from the writer’s experience.
• It depicts a change or transformation, whether physically, mentally, or emotionally.  There should be a development in perspective, skills, or actions. Demonstrate what you have learnt over the years and how you have changed or grown as a person.

Memoir Ideas

A memoir encapsulates everything within and around you. It can deal with your internal struggles, personal achievements, or anything significant that you want to share, whether it be positive or negative. It is your experience that you want to impart so that other people can hopefully learn from your life experience and understand a bit more about your personal journey.

Below are some of the creative ideas that you can consider if you’re going to start writing a memoir:

• A life-changing moment
• A remarkable milestone in your life
• The turning point of your life where you began to think, feel, and behave differently
• How a specific environment impacted your perspective
• The day when you fell in love or fell out of love
• An event where someone surprised you
• The return of someone who left you
• An important dream or the worst nightmare you had
• A moment where your fear hindered your success
• The day you discovered that you are one of a kind
• An adventure that you had never imagined to experience, but eventually did
• How multiple opportunities presented themselves to you and yet you could only choose one

Listed above are just a few of the vast examples of memoir ideas. Have the freedom to choose the experiences that you can open up about extensively and the events where you can direct the reader to reflect, dig deeper, and assess the meaningfulness of their very own existence.

How to Write a Memoir With Influence and Meaning

1. don’t write your entire life story when memoir writing.

When you start writing your own memoir, it can be daunting. What parts of your own life are significant? It might be tempting to write about your entire life, but that’s a common mistake that many writers make.

A memoir and an autobiography are not the same thing. A memoir does not tell the story of your entire life. Rather, a memoir takes the significant parts of your own compelling story and works them into a narrative that makes a point or sends a message.

Before you start writing, try to think of moments in your own story that were particularly touching, important, or even painful. What can you say about them? Can you turn the story of heartbreak or poverty into a message of strength and hope? Writing memoirs involves choosing the right moments to retell.

2. A Good Memoir Has Good Imagery

When you write a memoir, you share a piece of your personal life with an audience. Pack it full of imagery to make it a compelling story that the reader will care about. For example, if you are writing about the first Christmas as an adopted child, make the reader see what you saw when you came into the living room Christmas morning and saw the tree decorated with gifts that had your name on them.

Make the reader feel the way you felt, hear the things you heard, smell the things you smelled. Insert the reader into the story so that they feel as though they are experiencing it all with you. This is how you bond with the reader.

3. Read Memoirs

Before you write a memoir, read several. Having memoir examples at your disposal will help you to understand how a person’s life can impact your own feelings and ideas and make you feel as though you are part of it as well.

A compelling story doesn’t differ much from the best memoirs. The best memoirs make you feel something, just like the best fiction makes you feel something. Doing a lot of reading of this genre will help you see how memoirs are written and how they can impact a reader. Memoir examples, like any literary examples, can help to inspire you.

4. Don’t Tell Too Many Stories

A memorable memoir doesn’t pack stories tightly together. Doing so can overwhelm the reader, confuse the audience, and make the content challenging to relate to. Often you experience major real-life events one at a time, so you shouldn’t overwhelm your readers with one major event after another.

Choose a few memories or experiences from your life, and focus on them. They don’t have to be told in order, either. Many memoirs rearrange the order of the personal stories to entertain the audience. You are going for impact when you write a memoir, not fact-checking or chronological order.

5. Focus on the Emotional Truth of Your Memories

Getting every detail of your life perfectly accurate doesn’t matter nearly as much as making sure that the emotional truth of the memory is relayed through your writing. We often see events in real life differently than others do, based upon things like experiences, hopes, and feelings.

For example, if you want to write about a time when your family members rallied around you and supported you when you needed it, you don’t have to list every family member who came out of the woodwork to be there for you in your time of need. It doesn’t matter if you don’t get the name of the diner your aunt took you to correct. It doesn’t matter if you don’t get every specific detail right. Instead, focus on the emotional truth of how amazing it feels to be supported and loved unconditionally by your family.

6. Don’t Start at The Very Beginning

It can be tempting to start at your birth and recap each of your own experiences that impacted you all the way up until the present moment. However, doing this will bore the reader, confuse the reader, and make the reader think that you don’t know how to write well.

Unless your memoir is about your infancy and toddler days, there’s no need or point in discussing your birth. There’s no real need to bring up that you won the fourth-grade spelling bee. You can focus on exactly what happened in your life that you think deserves the most attention.

7. Make a List of Events

Just a list can go a long way in getting you to a great starting point. If you feel stumped about which event of your life should be the focus of your memoir, consider making a list. Start at the very beginning of your life, and list all the major events that have occurred since that you can think of. If you can’t remember some, they probably aren’t significant enough to be written about.

Once you have a list that has narrowed down the events in your life you think may be worth talking about in a memoir, you can interview family or friends and ask them which events pack the most punch or which ones they would most be interested in reading. This will often narrow down your list even more.

8. Write Your First Draft

The first draft, also known as the rough draft, is where you can work out the bones and major details of the memories you want to write about. When it is completed, go back and read through it to make sure you have included vivid details so that the reader has sufficient imagery available to become invested.

One piece of great advice when you start to doubt whether you are interesting enough to write a memoir that anyone will read or care about is to remind yourself that everyone’s life is a story full of ups and downs and twisted plots and characters. Every person deserves to tell the true story of the things that meant the most to them.

9. Self Publishing Vs. Traditional Publishing

There are a few tips more important than how to go about publishing your work. Remember that a memoir is basically telling short stories that are based on fact and published in a nonfiction book. You are the main character. While you understand why it is essential for you to write about a particular event, many publishers may think otherwise.

Unless you have a story about some sort of tragedy that everyone knows about, or are a famous person, or are somehow connected to a famous person, it may be challenging to get your memoir published with a traditional publishing house. These days, more and more writers are finding that memoirs do better when you go the self-publishing route .

10. A Tip for Choosing a Worthwhile Topic

If you are on the fence about which event or memory in your life you should write about, write about all of them. Narrow the options down to two or three, and then write about each one. Notice which one of those two or three topics is the one that you can’t stop writing about. If there is a story that you have to force yourself to stop writing about, then it is clear what your topic should be.

You should always choose the topic you have the most to say about. Not everyone has shared the same experiences, and you can bet that someone out there will be able to relate to what you write about, and it will grab that reader’s attention. Don’t try to impress everyone. Otherwise, you’ll never be able to choose a topic you’re passionate about.

11. Powerful Memoirs Read Like Stories

No one wants to read a stuffy memoir full of dates and factual evidence of your life. When you write a memoir, you want the reader to get comfortable with it. You’re sharing something personal. You’re inviting them in. You don’t want to bore them with facts and dates and places and names.

Think about how you tell a personal story to a friend or family member. Do you stuff it full of facts, or do you narrate like you would a story? How do you like to hear personal stories? A memoir needs to be inviting and inclusive.

Use body language in your descriptions of the events in your memoir. Rather than telling people that you cried, tell people that your body shook with each sob as you sat alone in a dark room, wondering how you were going to make it after having lost an important person in your life. Rather than telling people you were happy or in love, tell the reader how you leaped into the arms of your fiancé right after he proposed, nearly knocking him down. Invite the reader to really see the event in their mind’s eye.

12. Dig Deep to Find the Story

If you want to write about a lesson learned in life, really take the time to include several experiences in your life that drive that point home. For example, if you want your message to be about a lesson learned that ignoring your elderly relatives can end up breaking your heart and making you feel lost, then don’t just talk about when your grandpa died, and you barely knew him.

Write about the time your grandmother asked you to go with her to a parade, and you told her no because you wanted to play with your friends. Write about a time when your mother asked you to take her to a play, and you couldn’t be bothered to leave work early to do it, and now she’s gone.

Talk about how you had just realized how interesting and wonderful your great-grandpa was, and you were just getting to know him on a personal level when he died unexpectedly. Weave all of these stories into your memoir to achieve the overarching theme that time spent with older relatives is invaluable, and once they are gone, you can’t get that time back.

13. Memoirs Aren’t Just for Famous People

While your memoir may not be featured on Good Morning America before its release, you don’t have to be famous to have success with one. All you have to have is a good message, a good story, and confidence in yourself. If you have an interesting story to tell, it won’t matter that you aren’t a famous actor, singer, politician, or supermodel.

For example, in the early 1990s, Mary Karr started writing a memoir about growing up in Texas in an area that was less than wholesome in the 1960s. Prior to this, she was a poet. Writing a memoir was something that she wanted to do. When she published her memoir, The Liars Club, in 1995, it found success because it was raw, moving, and relatable to many people who grew up in similar situations all over small-town America.

14. Writing a Memoir Should Also Be For Yourself

When writing a memoir, keep in mind that the particular experience you plan to focus on should be something that you are passionate about or at least want to address for your own personal reasons. Sometimes the only way to deal with trauma is to talk about it, and an excellent way to do that is through the written word.

If there is an idea for a memoir that has been brewing in your mind and weighing on your heart for some time, get it written down. Writing a memoir can serve as a sort of therapy to a writer, and memoirs can help readers all over the world who may be going through the same feelings, trauma, or situation that you want to talk about.

Memoirs have a way of connecting people worldwide because even if we come from different backgrounds and cultures, we all understand feelings of loss, love, happiness, and fear.

15. Focus on Turning Points for Inspiration

When you are truly stuck and can’t think of what to write, dissect your life and look for the turning points. Turning points are the events in your life that made your life change course or direction. It can be the loss of a job or a new job. It can be a divorce, a marriage, a death, or a birth.

Perhaps you had an addiction problem, and finding out that you were expecting a baby made you reassess yourself and realize that there were now two lives involved in every decision you made. Writing about the turning point for your addiction may turn some readers off, but thousands of readers are in the same situation and will understand the idea you are trying to convey.

16. Condense Your Story

If you are going to be talking about when you adopted your children because you could not conceive on your own, try to stick to the main points of the story rather than naming every friend who gave you advice, every social worker you spoke with, every potential birth parent, and all the relatives who offered advice along the way.

In this example, no one really needs to be included in this retelling aside from you, your partner (if you have one), the child or children you adopted, and maybe one or two other people. You want your audience to see this story take place in their mind, and it can be easy to give too much information, but be selective in what information is shared. Too much will weigh down the story so that the audience loses interest. Keep the focus in your sights, and don’t deviate with fluff and unimportant details.

17. Develop a Writing Process

Just like with any sort of writing, you are developing your own writing process that will teach you how to write a memoir through practice. Set time aside every day to write, even if that means that you struggle on some days. Sure, your life will always be there, and your memories are always there, but starting and then taking breaks and telling yourself you’ll come back to it later is a recipe for a book that never gets finished.

Developing a routine that stays the same will help you make your writing less intimidating. If you know that you have two hours a day to write, develop a schedule and stick to it so that you never stop writing.

18. Don’t Lie

While you don’t have to focus on fact-checking and getting dates right, don’t lie outright in your telling of memories. If your audience finds out that you lied about trauma or an experience you have had, you lose their trust. Once you lose the audience’s trust, that’s it. You will most likely never get it back.

Don’t worry that your memories will be seen as boring by anyone. If they mean something to you, they are bound to mean something to someone else. Don’t embellish, never tell lies about people, and if you did something wrong, don’t try to downplay it or cover it up.

A memoir in which you claim to be a perfect person will go over like a lead balloon. You will end up losing all credibility, and no one will want to read your work again. Write short stories or fiction novels if you want to make things up in a book. A memoir is not the place to focus on your creative writing skills.

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What Is a Memoir? Definition & 15+ Examples

Ever wondered how your life would read if it were a book? Welcome to the world of memoirs, the literary realm where life imitates art and personal tales echo universal truths.

Unraveling the threads of human experience, memoirs invite us into the intimate corners of a person’s world, offering a lens into their most transformative moments. They’re not just about recounting facts but about painting vibrant pictures of the human journey.

Buckle up for an exploration of memoirs and the remarkable ways they thread together the individual and the universal, the specific and the profound.

Table of Contents

Defining Memoir

A memoir is a form of creative nonfiction that enables an author to tell their personal story or share experiences in an artful and engaging manner. Generally derived from the French word “mémoire” (meaning memory or reminiscence), memoirs differ from autobiographies in that they focus on specific events or periods of the author’s life instead of presenting an extensive, chronological account.

Memoirs are highly subjective, allowing writers to examine their own lives through the lens of personal experiences and emotions. This leads to a more intimate portrayal of their stories, potentially resonating with readers on a deeper level.

Typically, memoirs tackle themes of identity , relationships , growth , and change , often borrowing stylistic elements from fiction.

Memoir vs. Autobiography vs. Biography

When you’re exploring the world of personal writing, it’s essential to understand the distinctions between memoir, autobiography, and biography. Each type of writing delves into a person’s life but with different approaches and intentions.

A memoir focuses on a specific aspect or time period in the author’s life, offering a personal and emotional glimpse into their experiences. As a memoir writer, you will share your unique perspective, allowing your readers to connect and empathize with your journey. Memoirs tend to be more emotional and reflective than autobiographies and biographies.

An autobiography is a comprehensive account of the author’s entire life, written by the subject themselves. As an autobiography writer, your task is to provide a factual and chronological account of your life, from birth to the present or at a specific point in time.

Unlike memoirs and biographies, autobiographies emphasize the personal perspective of the subject, offering a unique firsthand account of their life story.

A biography is a detailed account of another person’s life written by someone other than the subject. When writing a biography, your focus is on researching and presenting the facts of your subject’s life, often using sources like interviews, letters, and archives.

As a biographer, you aim to create an accurate, engaging, and informative representation of your subject’s life story. Biographies tend to be less personal and emotional than memoirs and autobiographies, focusing mainly on facts and events.

To summarize:

History of Memoir

Memoir, as a form of writing, has a long and varied history. It allows you to delve into the thoughts, experiences, and emotions of the writer, offering an intimate perspective on their life and the events that shaped them.

One of the earliest known memoirs is Julius Caesar’s “Commentaries on the Gallic War,” written in 50 BCE . As a politician and general, Caesar documented his military campaigns, giving insight into the strategies and decisions that led to his conquests. This work set a precedent for future memoirists, who would also detail their exploits in politics, war, and other arenas.

In the 19th century , the genre evolved to focus more on individual experiences and self-reflection. Henry David Thoreau’s “Walden” (1854) is a notable example, as it chronicles his two-year experiment in simple living in a cabin near Walden Pond. Thoreau’s exploration of his connection with nature and society is a testament to the power of memoir in revealing one’s innermost thoughts and motivations.

The 20th century brought even more diversity to the genre with the likes of Ernest Hemingway’s “A Moveable Feast” (1964), a posthumous collection of the author’s memories of his time among the expatriate community in 1920s Paris.

Tripping on the intersecting lives of fellow writers such as Ezra Pound and Gertrude Stein , the memoir paints a vivid picture of the Jazz Age’s artistic milieu.

Another influential work from this period is George Orwell’s “Homage to Catalonia” (1938), which documents his experiences fighting on the Republican side during the Spanish Civil War. The combination of Orwell’s journalistic skills and personal involvement in the conflict results in a gripping account that highlights the complexities of a divided Spain and the ideological struggles that defined the 1930s.

As you can discern, memoirs offer unique insights into the lives of extraordinary individuals. By reading these diverse accounts, you gain a deeper understanding of the world’s rich tapestry of experiences, which has shaped the course of human history.

Functions of Memoir

Memoir is a reflection of personal history.

A memoir allows you to share your life experiences and memories. In doing so, you reflect on your personal history and the events that have shaped who you are today. This process of reflection can lead to a greater understanding and appreciation of your past and your role in it, as well as the lessons learned and wisdom gained.

Memoir Has Therapeutic Effects

Writing a memoir often has therapeutic effects on the author. It can serve as a means for processing painful or unresolved experiences, allowing you to gain new insights and perspectives on your life. Through this process, you may find a sense of healing and personal growth that you may not have achieved otherwise.

Memoir Educates

A memoir can educate readers about different times, cultures, and ways of life. By sharing your personal experiences and memories, you can provide a unique window into a world that others may not have had the opportunity to experience themselves. Your memoir can engage readers in a way that traditional education methods may not, making your story an invaluable learning resource.

Memoir Inspires

Your memoir can inspire others to persevere and overcome challenges in their own lives. By sharing your resilience, determination, and growth, you may help readers find the strength and motivation to face their struggles and pursue their dreams. Your life experiences may also inspire others to take action, change their perspectives, or pursue new opportunities.

Memoir Preserves Legacy

Writing a memoir is a way to preserve your legacy and ensure your story lives on for future generations. Through your memoir, you can pass down your experiences, values, and beliefs, allowing readers to learn from your life and appreciate the inheritance of wisdom and knowledge you have provided.

Memoir Encourages Dialogue

By sharing your memoir, you invite readers into an open dialogue about the shared human experience. This dialogue can foster understanding, stimulate discussion, and promote introspection among readers, encouraging them to engage in meaningful conversations about their own lives and experiences.

Memoir Cultivates Empathy

Reading a memoir exposes you to the thoughts, feelings, and emotions of the author. By delving into someone else’s life, you develop a better understanding of their experiences and an increased ability to empathize with others. This heightened empathy can lead you to connect more deeply with those around you, fostering a sense of compassion and humanity.

Memoir Reveals Truth

Memoir writing often reveals personal truths and realities that may have remained hidden or misunderstood. By sharing your story, you expose your vulnerabilities, triumphs, and fears, inviting readers to embrace your authentic self.

Through the process of writing and sharing your memoir, you allow others to gain insights into your life and discover the genuine experiences that lie beneath the surface.

Characteristics of Memoir

Memoir is personal.

A memoir is a personal account of your life experiences and memories. It allows you to delve into your own history, exploring the events, emotions, and characters that have shaped your journey. These memories can be vividly detailed, giving readers a sense of intimacy and connection with your story.

Memoir Is Reflective

In a memoir, you not only recount your memories but also reflect on their meaning. This involves examining your beliefs, emotions, and reactions and considering how your experiences have shaped your character and choices.

Reflective writing helps readers understand the significance of your memoir, providing depth and insight into your life.

Memoir Is Truthful

Honesty is an essential aspect of a memoir. Your goal is to convey the truth of your experiences, thoughts, and feelings, not to create a fictional story. While memories may be imperfect, strive to be as accurate and genuine as possible. This transparency lends credibility to your memoir and deepens the reader’s connection with your story.

Memoir Is Focused

A memoir should have a clear, focused theme or central idea. This could be a particular phase of your life, a significant relationship, or a life-changing event. By concentrating on a specific aspect of your life, you can create a cohesive narrative that engages and informs readers.

Memoir Has a Narrative Arc

While a memoir is based on your memories and experiences, it should still follow a narrative structure. A narrative arc includes a beginning , middle , and end , with a clear progression of events, conflicts, and resolutions. This helps to propel your story forward, keeping readers invested in your journey.

Memoir Is Detailed

To create a vivid and captivating memoir, include specific sensory details that evoke memories and emotions. Consider sights, smells, sounds, tastes, and textures when recounting your experiences. These details not only paint a rich, immersive picture but also make your story more relatable and memorable for readers.

Memoir Is Evocative

A successful memoir elicits reactions and emotions from the reader, creating a deep connection to your story. Use vivid language and authentic emotions to convey the essence of your experiences, allowing readers to feel what you felt and empathize with your journey.

Memoir Offers Insight

As you recount your experiences, consider the lessons you’ve learned and the insights you’ve gained. By sharing your unique perspective and personal revelations, you offer readers a valuable window into your world, encouraging them to reflect on their own lives and experiences.

Memoir Is Immersive

Your memoir should draw readers into your world, allowing them to experience your life as you lived it. Provide context for your memories, such as historical or cultural backdrop, so that readers better understand your experiences. By fully immersing your readers in your world, your memoir becomes a more enriching and engaging experience.

Memoir Is Transformative

A powerful memoir not only recounts your memories and emotions but also illustrates your growth and transformation. Address the impact of your experiences and the ways in which they have shaped your beliefs, values, or identity. This journey of personal growth resonates with readers, making your memoir a transformative reading experience.

Elements of Memoir

Personal perspective.

In a memoir, you share your personal experiences and perspectives. This form of writing allows you to delve into your memories and connect with your readers on a deeper level. You need to be open about your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions in order to create an engaging and authentic story.

Narrative Structure

Your memoir should have a clear narrative structure with a beginning , middle , and end . This will help your readers follow your story and understand the progression of your experiences. Use chronological order, or experiment with non-linear timelines, flashbacks, or parallel storylines to add depth to your narrative.

Reflection and Insight

Reflection is key in a memoir. You should examine the meaning behind your experiences and the lessons you learned from them. By exploring your memories, you can gain insight into your past and present self. This process of self-discovery can be enlightening for both you and your readers.

A memoir requires honesty and transparency. Be open about your feelings, thoughts, and actions, even if it makes you vulnerable. By being truthful, you will create a strong connection with your readers and allow them to empathize with your experiences.

Vivid Details

In your writing, include vivid details to capture the essence of your experiences. Use descriptive language to paint a clear picture of the events and settings of your story. By doing this, you will allow your readers to immerse themselves in your world fully.

Dialogue plays a crucial role in bringing your memoir to life. Use authentic conversations to enhance your narrative and reveal aspects of your relationships with other characters. Ensure that your dialogue sounds natural and reflects the emotions and personalities of the characters involved.

A strong theme can give your memoir a sense of purpose and direction. Identify the central theme or overarching message you want to convey through your story. This could be related to personal growth, relationships, overcoming adversity, or other aspects of your life.

Character Development

Your characters should be well-developed and multidimensional. Show the complexities of their personalities, emotions, and motivations. Focus on both their strengths and weaknesses, and demonstrate how they evolved over time. Remember to treat yourself as a character as well, and display your growth throughout the memoir.

Set the stage for your narrative by describing the settings in which your experiences took place. Provide clear, detailed descriptions that help your readers visualize the locations and understand their importance in your story.

Conflict drives any compelling narrative, and your memoir should be no exception. Address the conflicts you faced, whether they were internal or external. Show how you confronted these challenges, and illustrate the impact they had on your life.

Structure of Memoir

Introduction.

When writing a memoir, you should start with an engaging introduction that sets the stage for your narrative and draws readers in. Use descriptive language and vivid imagery to establish the setting, characters, and context.

In the exposition, provide background information about your life, including key moments and characters. This helps readers understand your story and connects them to your experiences. Organize your exposition around themes or milestones to maintain a consistent narrative.

Inciting Incident

Identify the inciting incident — the event or situation that prompts you to tell your story. This event should hook the reader’s interest and set your memoir in motion, revealing the purpose behind your narrative.

Rising Action

During the rising action, build tension and drama by recounting events that lead up to the climax. Develop your characters and their relationships, share memorable anecdotes, and explore the emotional impact of these experiences on your life.

Reach the climax, or turning point, in your memoir. This moment should be emotionally charged, presenting a conflict or challenge that you must overcome. The climax is a critical part of the narrative, as it demonstrates personal growth and transformation.

Falling Action

Detail the events that follow the climax in the falling action. Show the consequences of your choices and explore how you grapple with the aftermath of the climax. This section should begin to wrap up your narrative while illustrating the lessons learned.

In the resolution, wrap up the main storyline and resolve any lingering conflicts or questions. Reflect on the journey you’ve shared, and explain how your experiences have shaped the person you are today.

Take time to reflect on the impact of your memoir and the lessons you’ve learned. Delve into your feelings and thoughts, and share how your life has changed as a result of your experiences.

Epilogue (optional)

An optional epilogue can be included to provide an update on your life or the lives of the characters in your memoir. It offers a sense of closure and allows readers to see how your story continues to unfold.

Themes of Memoir

Coming of age.

In this memoir theme, you write about your transformation from childhood to adulthood, focusing on pivotal moments that shaped your character and beliefs. You can explore various experiences, friendships, and learnings that helped you grow into the person you are today.

The theme of identity allows you to delve deep into your personal history, exploring how your cultural, ethnic, or religious background has shaped your life. This theme often tackles your struggles and milestones, as well as your acceptance and pride regarding your unique identity.

Survival-themed memoirs explore stories of resilience, whether in the face of adversity, trauma, or challenges. You can share your experiences of overcoming obstacles and the lessons learned through perseverance and determination.

Healing and Recovery

Memoirs with a healing and recovery theme display a journey toward inner peace and overcoming struggles with physical or emotional challenges. You can delve into your experiences navigating the healing process with honesty and vulnerability.

Love and Relationships

This theme focuses on the different relationships that have played a significant role in your life. You can write about romantic encounters, friendships, and family bonds you’ve shared over the years, along with the triumphs and tribulations that come with forming connections.

Journey and Transformation

Journey and transformation memoirs chronicle significant life changes and experiences that contributed to your growth. You can explore personal discoveries, epiphanies, or impactful events that transformed your view of the world or yourself.

Struggle and Resilience

By writing about personal struggles and resilience, you can share honest and raw accounts of the challenges you’ve faced and how you’ve overcome them. You can reveal the resilience and inner strength that carried you through difficult times.

Search for Meaning or Purpose

In this theme, you can express your inner quest to find meaning or purpose in life. You can share your philosophical reflections, spiritual awakenings, or life-changing lessons learned through personal search or exploration.

Cultural or Social Commentary

Cultural or social commentary memoirs give you the opportunity to discuss your personal experiences in a broader societal context. You can address issues of cultural identity, social norms, or broader historical events that affected you and your community.

Loss and Grief

A memoir about loss and grief provides an opportunity to explore the emotions and struggles you’ve faced in times of sorrow. You can share your journey of grief, the memories of your loved ones, and the impact they had on your life.

Types of Memoir

Personal memoir.

In a personal memoir, you focus on your own life experiences and emotions. You dive into specific moments, relationships, and challenges that have shaped your identity. Personal memoirs often reveal intimate details about a person’s life and thoughts as they recount those events.

Portrait Memoir

A portrait memoir focuses on the life of someone else. You, as the writer, can observe and reflect on the person’s experiences and give an account of their life, allowing readers to have a better understanding of that individual. It can be about someone you know closely or an admired figure you studied.

Coming-Of-Age Memoir

A coming-of-age memoir revolves around your journey from childhood to adulthood. It usually deals with major life events and transformations you face during adolescence. These memoirs often provide insights into the societal and cultural aspects of the time that influenced your growth and development.

Spiritual Quest Memoir

A spiritual quest memoir details your journey exploring spirituality and seeking meaningful answers to life’s biggest questions. It usually entails experiences with religious practices, beliefs, or spiritual teachers and the lessons learned from those encounters.

Travel Memoir

Travel memoirs are all about your adventures in different places. They involve your experiences and reflections while exploring new locations, cultures, and ways of living. These memoirs often provide vivid descriptions of the places you’ve visited, allowing readers to feel like they’re experiencing those journeys alongside you.

Confessional Memoir

A confessional memoir is characterized by its raw honesty and openness about your inner thoughts and darkest secrets. You share your emotions and vulnerabilities, allowing readers to connect with your personal challenges and triumphs. It can be therapeutic for the writer and provide comfort for the reader who may relate to those experiences.

Political Memoir

A political memoir covers your life in connection to your political career or beliefs. It focuses on your role in shaping or observing pivotal political events and movements during your lifetime. These memoirs offer a unique behind-the-scenes perspective on historical events and the individuals involved.

Public or Celebrity Memoir

Public or celebrity memoirs are written by or about well-known figures, exploring their lives and the experiences that led to their rise to fame or prominence. These memoirs often reveal previously untold stories and personal insights that help paint a more complete picture of the public figure.

Examples of Memoirs in Different Formats

Memoirs in books, film and television, graphic memoirs, memoirs in music, importance of memoir, memoir is a gateway to empathy.

Reading memoirs allows you to walk in another person’s shoes and glimpse their life experiences. By delving into their stories, you can develop empathy and better understand the challenges and emotions they have faced.

Memoir Provides Insight

Memoirs offer insights into the author’s thought processes, choices, and motivations. As you read, you may gain valuable lessons and inspiration that can be applied to your own life or the lives of those around you.

Memoir Acts as A Historical Record

Memoirs serve as personal accounts of historical events, providing a unique perspective that may not be captured in textbooks or mainstream media. They help preserve a piece of history, enriching your understanding of the world and its past.

Memoir Demonstrates Resilience

Memoirs often detail an individual’s journey through adversity and the triumphs they achieved along the way. These stories can inspire you to face your own challenges with courage and determination.

A Memoir Has Therapeutic Value

Writing or reading a memoir can be a cathartic process, allowing you to examine your own emotions, relationships, and experiences. This can lead to personal growth and healing.

Memoir Contributes to Cultural Preservation

Memoirs help preserve and pass on cultural heritage by documenting customs, traditions, and folklore. By reading and sharing memoirs, you can contribute to keeping these cultural aspects alive for future generations.

Memoir Builds Connection

Reading about someone’s life experiences can create a bond between you and the author, fostering a sense of connection. This can lead to increased empathy and understanding, not only towards the author but towards others as well.

Memoir Spurs Social Change

Memoirs can raise awareness of important issues and injustices, prompting readers to reconsider their own beliefs and take action. By sharing your story, you may inspire others to make a difference in their own communities.

Memoir Is an Exploration of Self

Writing a memoir requires reflection and introspection, leading to a deeper understanding of who you are, your values, and your experiences. As a reader, you may also identify with aspects of the author’s life, prompting self-discovery and personal growth.

Writing Your Own Memoir

Choosing a theme and focus.

When you start your memoir, it’s essential to identify a central theme or focus. Consider your life experiences and the key moments that have shaped you. It might be a period of personal transformation, a specific relationship, or a significant event.

With this theme in mind, narrow down the scope of your memoir to include only the most relevant experiences that directly contribute to your narrative. This will give your memoir a clear direction and make it more engaging for the reader.

Developing Your Writing Style

As an author, you need to find the best writing style to convey your memoir. An effective way to develop your writing style is by reading other memoirs and analyzing their narrative techniques. You can then experiment with different approaches, such as writing in the present or past tense, using first or third-person perspectives, and incorporating descriptive language.

Pay attention to the rhythm and pacing of your story as well. Maintaining a balance between introspective reflection and vivid descriptions of your experiences is crucial in keeping your readers engaged and invested in your memoir.

Publishing and Sharing

Once you’ve completed your memoir, it’s time to consider how you want to share it with the world. You have a few options for publishing, such as traditional publishing, self-publishing, or even posting your work online through a blog or website.

If you choose traditional publishing , you might need to find a literary agent to represent your work and submit it to publishers on your behalf. Do some research on the publishing industry and the types of memoirs that are currently successful, as this will give you an idea of what publishers are looking for in new authors.

Self-publishing , on the other hand, allows you more control over the creative process and content of your memoir. Platforms like Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing make it easy to publish your work, set your own pricing, and retain full rights to your story. This option may involve additional effort with formatting and marketing, but it also allows you to reach a wide audience quickly.

Sharing your memoir through a personal blog or website is another great way to connect with readers while maintaining creative control. You can build an online presence and interact directly with your audience, gathering feedback and fostering a community around your work.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do memoirs have to be written in the first person.

Yes, memoirs are typically written in the first person. As a memoir is a personal account of your own experiences, using the first-person perspective (I, me, my) help you convey the story more intimately to your readers.

This approach allows the readers to see events from your perspective and understand your emotions and thoughts throughout the journey.

What is the difference between a memoir and a personal essay?

While both memoirs and personal essays offer a deep dive into the author’s personal perspectives, they differ considerably in terms of their scope and depth.

A memoir typically focuses on a specific period, event, or theme in an individual’s life, spanning a larger timeframe and delving deeply into the author’s personal experiences. It’s story-driven and emphasizes the growth or transformation the author has undergone through these experiences.

In contrast, a personal essay generally has a broader scope, covering an array of topics, ideas, or reflections. It tends to be shorter in length and may focus on exploring a single idea, thought, or concept.

Unlike a memoir, a personal essay may not necessarily share a personal narrative. It could lean more towards being opinion-based or analytical, offering a distinctive viewpoint or critical analysis on a particular subject.

How truthful does a memoir need to be?

The process of writing a memoir calls for a commitment to truth, although minor discrepancies or narrative adjustments are generally accepted. The crucial aspect is to preserve the essential truth of your experiences and emotions.

In striving for accuracy, it’s important to adhere to the facts as you remember them without amplifying events or experiences for dramatic effect.

Honesty plays a pivotal role, requiring you to delve into your feelings, thoughts, and motivations during the incidents you’re describing. This earnest portrayal of your emotions imparts authenticity to your memoir, making it more relatable.

The memoir’s perspective should reflect that it’s grounded in your personal recollections and interpretations of events. However, it’s critical to understand and respect that others might remember or perceive the same events differently.

As we conclude this exploration into the world of memoirs, it’s clear to see the unique and powerful role they play in literature. With their potent blend of personal experience and broader insights, memoirs not only offer readers an intimate look into someone else’s life but also provide a mirror for them to reflect on their own experiences.

Whether you’re an aspiring writer, an avid reader, or simply a lover of stories, understanding memoirs enriches our grasp of the human experience in all its complexity. They remind us that every life is a narrative worth telling, full of lessons, growth, and profound moments that shape us. From the personal to the universal, memoirs are an enduring testament to our shared journey through life.

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Aerielle Ezra

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a record of events written by a person having intimate knowledge of them and based on personal observation.

Usually memoirs.

an account of one's personal life and experiences; autobiography.

the published record of the proceedings of a group or organization, as of a learned society.

a biography or biographical sketch.

Origin of memoir

Other words for memoir, words nearby memoir.

• memento mori
• memorabilia
• memorabiliast

Dictionary.com Unabridged Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2024

How to use memoir in a sentence

Chasten’s memoir fits into the effort to build Pete Buttigieg’s political future.

A Promised Land’s first run is significantly higher compared to past presidential memoirs, which set records at the time of their publication.

The 768-page book is the most anticipated presidential memoir in memory, as much or more because of the quality of the writing than for any possible revelations.

He tells Carlos that a memoir is on the way detailing the highs and lows of his NBA career.

Science writer Kate Greene couldn’t have known that her memoir about her time on a make-believe Mars mission would be published as millions of people on Earth isolated themselves in their homes for months amid a pandemic.

What made you want to write a memoir now about your “addiction” to film?

The memoir follows Oswalt from 1995 to 1999 as he was starting out on his comedy career in Los Angeles.

The woman in question, meanwhile, has business of her own to take care of—she is reported to be shopping a memoir .

For years, Brooke even had trouble finding a publisher for his memoir , which was ultimately accepted by Rutgers University Press.

Now, the goalkeeper is out with a memoir about his life until that point: The Keeper: A Life of Saving Goals and Achieving Them.

The problem to be solved was a difficult one, as he pointed out in a memoir written for Clanclaux.

In the biographical memoir of La Bruyre, I have only stated what is known of him, which is very little.

At this time the family consisted of four sons and two daughters, besides the subject of this memoir .

Indeed, I was to find no difficulty in collecting the greatest abundance of material for a memoir .

I am also aware that I may hereby cast a suspicion of the spirit of a wild projector, over the subject of this memoir .

British Dictionary definitions for memoir

/ ( ˈmɛmwɑː ) /

a biography or historical account, esp one based on personal knowledge

an essay or monograph, as on a specialized topic

obsolete a memorandum

Derived forms of memoir

• memoirist , noun

Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 2012 Digital Edition © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins Publishers 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2012

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Meaning of memoir in English

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• creative writing
• intertextual
• intertextuality
• intertextually
• self-portrait
• thought piece
• uncaptioned
• versification

memoir | American Dictionary

Examples of memoir, translations of memoir.

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used to describe an exciting story involving secrets and mystery, often about spies, or something that makes you think of this

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Microsoft 365 Life Hacks > Writing > Four tips for writing a memoir

Four tips for writing a memoir

Everyone possesses a life story that’s worth sharing. Life’s experiences, from joys to sorrows, loves, and loves lost, collectively shape us, and connect us through shared human experiences. Because of this connection, memoirs can palpably resonate with readers. The key differentiator between your memoir being a best-seller or relegated to the bargain bin, aside from personal fame and popularity, lies in the quality of your writing. Tell your story in a way that truly resonates with your audience by applying these four invaluable tips for writing a memoir.

What is a memoir?

A memoir is a narrative that highlights a specific moment in an author’s life. Often mistaken for an autobiography, memoirs tend to offer a more intimate perspective. Authors unpack a vulnerable and impactful moment that profoundly influenced them in a way that forges a connection with their readers. These authentic, real-life experiences are shaped by the author’s emotional response to an event, emphasizing personal interpretation and how it affected them rather than serving as a historical account.

Tips for writing a memoir

If you’ve decided to write a memoir, it’s important to remember that you’re not giving an account of your entire life. Instead, narrow your lens and focus on a few specific moments that influenced you, as opposed to an entire autobiography. Now that you understand the essence of a memoir, let’s explore some essential tips to enhance your writing:

Select a snapshot of your life

1. tell the truth.

Above all, your audience must trust you. While a memoir allows you to infuse your feelings and interpretations into events, it must remain grounded in fact, not fiction. Present the events as they occurred truthfully. The essence of a memoir lies in delving deeply into how an event transformed you, so maintain honesty with both yourself and your readers as you write.

2. Make your memoir a narrative with rich characters

Breathing life into well-developed and relatable characters is what truly brings a story to life, whether it’s a poem , short story, or memoir. When referencing people in your life, delve into their character by considering their motivations, their connection to you, and other pertinent factors as you recount your story. This approach allows readers to establish a personal connection with these individuals, making your narrative more engaging and emotionally resonant.

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3. Consider joining a memoir writing group

Give thought to becoming a part of a memoir writing group or workshop. Fellow writers can serve as excellent editors, offering valuable feedback and support. Additionally, such a group can provide you with accountability, enabling you to track your progress while gaining fresh perspectives on your writing.

4. Avoid cliches and stereotypes

To connect with your audience, it’s important to keep your story feeling fresh by steering clear of clichéd phrases and stereotypes in your memoir. Find your unique voice and embrace its originality using colloquialisms , tone , and delivery, allowing your writing to stand out without relying on tropes.

Memoirs possess the inherent power to weave compelling narratives. Effective memoirs, devoid of clichés and stereotypes, can immerse audience members in genuine experiences. Use these tips to dig deep into your personal experiences and deliver truthful, impactful narratives to your audience. For more techniques to captivate readers with accounts of your personal experiences, learn more writing tips .

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Writing My Autobiography

A re you still writing?” he asked.

“I am,” I answered.

“What are you working on at the moment?”

“An autobiography,” I said.

“Interesting,” he replied. “Whose?”

The implication here, you will note, is that mine hasn’t been a life sufficiently interesting to merit an autobiography. The implication isn’t altogether foolish. Most autobiographies, at least the best autobiographies, have been written by people who have historical standing, or have known many important people, or have lived in significant times, or have noteworthy family connections or serious lessons to convey . I qualify on none of these grounds. Not that, roughly two years ago when I sat down to write my autobiography, I let that stop me.

An autobiography, to state the obvious, is at base a biography written by its own subject. But how is one to write it: as a matter of setting the record straight, as a form of confessional, as a mode of seeking justice, or as a justification of one’s life? “An autobiography,” wrote George Orwell, “is only to be trusted when it reveals something disgraceful. A man who gives a good account of himself is probably lying, since any life when viewed from the inside is simply a series of defeats.” Is this true? I prefer to think not.

Autobiography is a complex enterprise, calling for its author not only to know himself but to be honest in conveying that knowledge. “I could inform the dullest author how he might write an interesting book,” wrote Samuel Taylor Coleridge. “Let him relate the events of his own life with Honesty, not disguising the feelings that accompanied them.” One of the nicest things about being a professor, it has been said, is that one gets to talk for fifty minutes without being interrupted. So one of the allurements of autobiography is that one gets to write hundreds of pages about that eminently fascinating character, oneself, even if in doing so one only establishes one’s insignificance.

The great autobiographies—of which there have not been all that many—have been wildly various. One of the first, that of the Renaissance sculptor Benvenuto Cellini, is marked by an almost unrelieved braggadocio: No artist was more perfect, no warrior more brave, no lover more pleasing than the author, or so he would have us believe. Edward Gibbon’s autobiography, though elegantly written, is disappointing in its brevity. That of Jean-Jacques Rousseau, heavily striking the confessional note, might have been told in a booth to a priest. Ben Franklin’s autobiography is full of advice on how the rest of us should live. John Stuart Mill’s is astounding in its account of its author’s prodigiously early education, which began with his learning Greek under his father’s instruction at the age of three. Then there is Henry Adams’s autobiography, suffused with disappointment over his feeling out of joint with his times and the world’s not recognizing his true value. In Making It , Norman Podhoretz wrote an autobiography informed by a single message, which he termed a “dirty little secret,” namely that there is nothing wrong with ambition and that success, despite what leftist intellectuals might claim, is nothing to be ashamed of.

Please note that all of these are books written by men. Might it be that women lack the vanity required to write—or should I say “indulge in”—the literary act of autobiography? In Mary Beard’s Emperor of Rome , I recently read that Agrippina the Younger, the mother of Nero, wrote her autobiography, which has not survived, and which Mary Beard counts as “one of the great losses of all classical literature.” I wish that Jane Austen had written an autobiography, and so too George Eliot and Willa Cather. Perhaps these three women, great writers all, were too sensibly modest for autobiography, that least modest of all literary forms.

A utobiography can be the making or breaking of writers who attempt it. John Stuart Mill’s autobiography has gone a long way toward humanizing a writer whose other writings tend toward the coldly formal. Harold Laski wrote that Mill’s “ Autobiography , in the end the most imperishable of his writings, is a record as noble as any in our literature of consistent devotion to the public good.”

If Mill’s autobiography humanized him, the autobiography of the novelist Anthony Trollope did for him something approaching the reverse. In An Autobiography , Trollope disdains the notion of an author’s needing inspiration to write well. He reports that “there was no day on which it was my positive duty to write for the publishers, as it was my duty to write reports for the Post Office,” where he had a regular job. “I was free to be idle if I pleased. But as I had made up my mind to undertake this second profession [that of novelist], I found it to be expedient to bind myself by certain self-imposed laws.” Trollope recounts—emphasis here on “counts”—that as a novelist he averages forty pages per week, at 250 words per page. He writes: “There are those who would be ashamed to subject themselves to such a taskmaster, and who think that the man who works with his imagination should allow himself to wait till inspiration moves him. When I have heard such doctrine preached, I have hardly been able to repress my scorn.” Trollope then mentions that on the day after he finished his novel Doctor Thorne , he began writing his next novel, The Bertrams . For a long spell the literati refused to forgive Trollope for shearing inspiration away from the creation of literary art, for comparing the job of the novelist to a job at the post office. Only the splendid quality of his many novels eventually won him forgiveness and proper recognition.

A serious biography takes up what the world thinks of its subject, what his friends and family think of him, and—if the information is available in letters, diaries, journals, or interviews—what he thinks of himself. An autobiography is ultimately about the last question: what the author thinks of himself. Yet how many of us have sufficient self-knowledge to give a convincing answer? In her splendid novel Memoirs of Hadrian , Marguerite Yourcenar has Hadrian note: “When I seek deep within me for knowledge of myself what I find is obscure, internal, unformulated, and as secret as any complicity.” The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the scrupulously examined one is rare indeed.

My own life has not provided the richest fodder for autobiography. For one thing, it has not featured much in the way of drama. For another, good fortune has allowed me the freedom to do with my life much as I have wished. I have given my autobiography the title Never Say You’ve Had a Lucky Life , with the subtitle Especially If You’ve Had a Lucky Life . Now well along in its closing chapter, mine, I contend, has been thus far—here I pause to touch wood—a most lucky life.

My title derives from the story of Croesus, who ruled the country of Lydia from circa 585–547 b.c. , and who is perhaps today best known for the phrase “rich as Croesus.” The vastly wealthy Croesus thought himself the luckiest man on earth and asked confirmation of this from Solon, the wise Athenian, who told him that in fact the luckiest man on earth was another Athenian who had two sons in that year’s Olympics. When Croesus asked who was second luckiest, Solon cited another Greek who had a most happy family life. Croesus was displeased but not convinced by Solon’s answers. Years later he was captured by the Persian Cyrus, divested of his kingdom and his wealth, and set on a pyre to be burned alive, before which he was heard to exclaim that Solon had been right. The moral of the story is, of course: Never say you have had a lucky life until you know how your life ends.

I have known serious sadness in my life. I have undergone a divorce. I have become a member of that most dolorous of clubs, parents who have buried one of their children. Yet I have had much to be grateful for. In the final paragraph of a book I wrote some years ago on the subject of ambition, I noted that “We do not choose our parents. We do not choose our historical epoch, or the country of our birth, or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing.” In all these realms, I lucked out. I was born to intelligent, kindly parents; at a time that, though I was drafted into the army, allowed me to miss being called up to fight in any wars; and in the largely unmitigated prosperity enjoyed by the world’s most interesting country, the United States of America.

Writing is a form of discovery. Yet can even writing ferret out the quality and meaning of one’s own life? Alexis de Tocqueville, the endlessly quotable Tocqueville, wrote: “The fate of individuals is still more hidden than that of peoples,” and “the destinies of individuals are often as uncertain as those of nations.” Fate, destiny, those two great tricksters, who knows what they have in store for one, even in the final days of one’s life? I, for example, as late as the age of eighteen, had never heard the word “intellectual.” If you had asked me what a man of letters was, I would have said a guy who works at the post office. Yet I have been destined to function as an intellectual for the better part of my adult life, and have more than once been called a man of letters. Fate, destiny, go figure!

T he first question that arises in writing one’s autobiography is what to include and what to exclude. Take, for starters, sex. In his nearly seven-hundred-page autobiography, Journeys of the Mind , the historian of late antiquity Peter Brown waits until page 581 to mention, in the most glancing way, that he is married. Forty or so pages later, the name of a second wife is mentioned. Whether he had children with either of these wives, we never learn. But then, Brown’s is a purely intellectual autobiography, concerned all but exclusively with the development of the author’s mind and those who influenced that development.

My autobiography, though less than half the length of Brown’s, allowed no such luxury of reticence. Sex, especially when I was an adolescent, was a central subject, close to a preoccupation. After all, boys—as I frequently instructed my beautiful granddaughter Annabelle when she was growing up—are brutes. I came of age BP, or Before the Pill, and consummated sex, known in that day as “going all the way,” was not then a serious possibility. Too much was at risk—pregnancy, loss of reputation—for middle-class girls. My friends and I turned to prostitution.

Apart from occasionally picking up streetwalkers on some of Chicago’s darker streets, prostitution for the most part meant trips of sixty or so miles to the bordellos of Braidwood or Kankakee, Illinois. The sex, costing $3, was less than perfunctory. (“Don’t bother to take off your socks or that sweater,” one was instructed.) What was entailed was less sensual pleasure than a rite of passage, of becoming a man, of “losing your cherry,” a phrase I have only recently learned means forgoing one’s innocence. We usually went on these trips in groups of five or six in one or another of our fathers’ cars. Much joking on the way up and even more on the way back. Along Chicago’s Outer Drive, which we took home in those days, there was a Dad’s Old Fashioned Root Beer sign that read, “Have you had it lately?,” which always got a good laugh.

I like to think of myself as a shy pornographer, or, perhaps better, a sly pornographer. By this I mean that in my fiction and where necessary in my essays I do not shy away from the subject of sex, only from the need to describe it in any of its lurid details. So I have done in my autobiography. On the subject of sex in my first marriage (of two), for example, I say merely, “I did not want my money back.” But, then, all sex, if one comes to think about it, is essentially comic, except of course one’s own.

On the inclusion-exclusion question, the next subject I had to consider was money, or my personal finances. Financially I have nothing to brag about. In my autobiography I do, though, occasionally give the exact salaries—none of them spectacular—of the jobs I’ve held. With some hesitation (lest it seem boasting) I mention that a book I wrote on the subject of snobbery earned, with its paperback sale, roughly half-a-million dollars. I fail to mention those of my books that earned paltry royalties, or, as I came to think of them, peasantries. In my autobiography, I contented myself with noting my good fortune in being able to earn enough money doing pretty much what I wished to do and ending up having acquired enough money not to worry overmuch about financial matters. Like the man said, a lucky life.

If I deal glancingly in my autobiography with sex and personal finances, I tried to take a pass on politics. My own political development is of little interest. I started out in my political life a fairly standard liberal—which in those days meant despising Richard Nixon—and have ended up today contemptuous of both our political parties: Tweedledum and Tweedledumber, as the critic Dwight Macdonald referred to them. Forgive the self-congratulatory note, but in politics I prefer to think myself a member in good standing of that third American political party, never alas on the ballot, the anti-BS party.

Of course, sometimes one needs to have a politics, if only to fight off the politics of others. Ours is a time when politics seems to be swamping all else: art, education, journalism, culture generally. I have had the dubious distinction of having been “canceled,” for what were thought my political views, and I write about this experience in my autobiography. I was fired from the editorship of Phi Beta Kappa’s quarterly magazine, the American Scholar —a job I had held for more than twenty years—because of my ostensibly conservative, I suppose I ought to make that “right-wing,” politics. My chief cancellers were two academic feminists and an African-American historian-biographer, who sat on the senate, or governing board, of Phi Beta Kappa.

T he official version given out by Phi Beta Kappa for my cancellation—in those days still known as a firing—was that the magazine was losing subscribers and needed to seek younger readers. Neither assertion was true, but both currently appear in the Wikipedia entry under my name. The New York Times also printed this “official” but untrue version of my cancellation. In fact, I was canceled because I had failed to run anything in the magazine about academic feminism or race, both subjects that had already been done to death elsewhere and that I thought cliché-ridden and hence of little interest for a magazine I specifically tried to keep apolitical. During my twenty-two years at the American Scholar , the name of no current United States president was mentioned. If anything resembling a theme emerged during my editorship, it was the preservation of the tradition of the liberal arts, a subject on which I was able to acquire contributions from Jacques Barzun, Paul Kristeller, Hugh Trevor-Roper, Frederick Crews, and others.

That I was fired not for anything I had done but for things I had failed to do is an indication of how far we had come in the realm of political correctness. I take up this topic in my autobiography, one theme of which is the vast changes that have taken place in American culture over my lifetime. A notable example is an essay on homosexuality that I wrote and published in Harper’s in 1970, a mere fifty-three years ago. The essay made the points that we still did not know much about the origin of male homosexuality, that there was much hypocrisy concerning the subject, that homosexuals were living under considerable social pressure and prejudice, and that given a choice, most people would prefer that their children not be homosexual. This, as I say, was in 1970, before the gay liberation movement had got underway in earnest. The essay attracted a vast number of letters in opposition, and a man named Merle Miller, who claimed I was calling for genocide of homosexuals, wrote a book based on the essay. Gore Vidal, never known for his temperate reasoning, claimed my argument was ad Hitlerum . (Vidal, after contracting Epstein-Barr virus late in life, claimed that “Joseph Epstein gave it to me.”) I have never reprinted the essay in any of my collections because I felt that it would stir up too much strong feeling. For what it is worth, I also happen to be pleased by the greater tolerance accorded homosexuality in the half century since my essay was published.

The larger point is that today neither Harper’s nor any other mainstream magazine would dare to publish that essay. Yet a few years after the essay was published, I was offered a job teaching in the English Department of Northwestern University, and the year after that, I was appointed editor of the American Scholar. Today, of course, neither job would have been available to me.

Do these matters—my cancellation from the American Scholar , my unearned reputation as a homophobe—come under the heading of self-justification? Perhaps so. But then, what better, or at least more convenient, place to attempt to justify oneself than in one’s autobiography?

Many changes have taken place in my lifetime, some for the better, some for the worse, some whose value cannot yet be known. I note, for example, if not the death then the attenuation of the extended family (nephews, nieces, cousins) in American life. Whereas much of my parents’ social life revolved around an extensive cousinage, I today have grandnephews and grandnieces living on both coasts whom I have never met and probably never shall. I imagine some of them one day being notified of my death and responding, “Really? [Pause] What’s for dinner?”

I take up in my autobiography what Philip Rieff called, in his book of this title, the Triumph of the Therapeutic, a development that has altered child-rearing, artistic creation, and much else in our culture. Although the doctrines of Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, and others are no longer taken as gospel, their secondary influence has conquered much of modern culture. My parents’ generation did not hold with therapeutic culture, which contends that the essentials of life are the achievement of self-esteem and individual happiness, replacing honor, courage, kindness, and generosity.

In my autobiography, I note that when my mother was depressed by her knowledge that she was dying of cancer, a friend suggested that there were support groups for people with terminal diseases, one of which might be helpful. I imagined telling my mother about such groups, and her response: “Let me see,” she is likely to have said. “You want me to go into a room with strangers, where I will listen to their problems and then I’ll tell them mine, and this will make me feel better.” Pause. “Is this the kind of idiot I’ve raised as a son?”

T hen there is digital culture, the verdict on which is not yet in. Digital culture has changed the way we read, think, make social connections, do business, and so much more. I write in my autobiography that in its consequences digital culture is up there with the printing press and the automobile. Its influence is still far from fully fathomed.

One of my challenges in writing my autobiography was to avoid seeming to brag about my quite modest accomplishments. In the Rhetoric , Aristotle writes: “Speaking at length about oneself, making false claims, taking the credit for what another has done, these are signs of boastfulness.” I tried not to lapse into boasting. Yet at one point I quote Jacques Barzun, in a letter to me, claiming that as a writer I am in the direct line of William Hazlitt, though in some ways better, for my task—that of finding the proper language to establish both intimacy and critical distance—is in the current day more difficult than in Hazlitt’s. At least I deliberately neglected to mention that, in response to my being fired from the American Scholar, Daniel Patrick Moynihan flew an American flag at half-mast over the Capitol, a flag he sent to me as a souvenir. Quoting others about my accomplishments, is this anything other than boasting by other means? I hope so, though even now I’m not altogether sure.

I have a certain pride in these modest accomplishments. Setting out in life, I never thought I should publish some thirty-odd books or have the good luck to continue writing well into my eighties. The question for me as an autobiographer was how to express that pride without preening. The most efficient way, of course, is never to write an autobiography.

Why, then, did I write mine? Although I have earlier characterized writing as a form of discovery, I did not, in writing my autobiography, expect to discover many radically new things about my character or the general lineaments of my life. Nor did I think that my life bore any lessons that were important to others. I had, and still have, little to confess; I have no hidden desire to be spanked by an NFL linebacker in a nun’s habit. A writer, a mere scribbler, I have led a largely spectatorial life, standing on the sidelines, glass of wine in hand, watching the circus pass before me.

Still, I wrote my autobiography, based in a loose way on Wordsworth’s notion that poetry arises from “emotion recollected in tranquility.” Writing it gave me an opportunity to review my life at the end of my life in a tranquil manner. I was able to note certain trends, parallels, and phenomena that have marked my life and set my destiny.

The first of these, as I remarked earlier, was the fortunate time in which I was born, namely the tail end of the Great Depression—to be specific, in 1937. Because of the Depression, people were having fewer children, and often having them later. (My mother was twenty-seven, my father thirty at my birth.) Born when it was, my generation, though subject to the draft—not, in my experience of it, a bad thing—danced between the wars: We were too young for Korea, too old for Vietnam. We were also children during World War II, the last war the country fully supported, which gave us a love of our country. Ours was a low-population generation, untroubled by the vagaries of college admissions or the trauma of rejection by the school of one’s choice. Colleges, in fact, wanted us.

Or consider parents, another fateful phenomenon over which one has no choice. To be born to thoughtless, or disagreeable, or depressed, or deeply neurotic parents cannot but substantially affect all one’s days. Having a father who is hugely successful in the world can be as dampening to the spirit as having a father who is a failure. And yet about all this one has no say. I have given the chapter on my parents the title “A Winning Ticket in the Parents Lottery,” for my own parents, though neither went to college, were thoughtful, honorable, and in no way psychologically crushing. They gave my younger brother and me the freedom to develop on our own; they never told me what schools to attend, what work to seek, whom or when to marry. I knew I was never at the center of my parents’ lives, yet I also knew I could count on them when I needed their support, which more than once I did, and they did not fail to come through. As I say, a winning ticket.

As one writes about one’s own life, certain themes are likely to emerge that hadn’t previously stood out so emphatically. In my case, one persistent motif is that of older boys, then older men, who have supported or aided me in various ways. A boy nearly two years older than I named Jack Libby saw to it that I wasn’t bullied or pushed around in a neighborhood where I was the youngest kid on the block. In high school, a boy to whom I have given the name Jeremy Klein taught me a thing or two about gambling and corruption generally. Later in life, men eight, nine, ten, even twenty or more years older than I promoted my career: Hilton Kramer in promoting my candidacy for the editorship of the American Scholar , Irving Howe in helping me get a teaching job (without an advanced degree) at Northwestern, John Gross in publishing me regularly on important subjects in the Times Literary Supplement , Edward Shils in ways too numerous to mention. Something there was about me, evidently, that was highly protégéable.

I  haven’t yet seen the index for my autobiography, but my guess is that it could have been name-ier. I failed, for example, to include my brief but pleasing friendship with Sol Linowitz. Sol was the chairman of Xerox, and later served the Johnson administration as ambassador to the Organization of American States. He also happened to be a reader of mine, and on my various trips to Washington I was often his guest at the F Street Club, a political lunch club where he reserved a private room in which we told each other jokes, chiefly Jewish jokes. I might also have added my six years as a member of the National Council of the National Endowment for the Arts, whose members included the actors Robert Stack and Celeste Holm, the Balanchine dancer Arthur Mitchell, Robert Joffrey, the soprano Renée Fleming, the novelist Toni Morrison, the dancer and choreographer Martha Graham, the architect I. M. Pei, the painter Helen Frankenthaler, and other highly droppable names.

Confronting one’s regrets is another inescapable element in writing one’s autobiography. Ah, regrets: the red MG convertible one didn’t buy in one’s twenties, the elegant young Asian woman one should have asked to dinner, the year one failed to spend in Paris. The greater the number of one’s regrets, the grander their scope, the sadder, at its close, one’s life figures to be. I come out fairly well in the regrets ledger. I regret not having studied classics at university, and so today I cannot read ancient Greek. I regret not having been a better father to my sons. I regret not asking my mother more questions about her family and not telling my father what a good man I thought he was. As regrets go, these are not minor, yet neither have I found them to be crippling.

Then there is the matter of recognizing one’s quirks, or peculiar habits. A notable one of mine, acquired late in life, is to have become near to the reverse of a hypochondriac. I have not yet reached the stage of anosognosia, or the belief that one is well when one is ill—a stage, by the way, that Chekhov, himself a physician, seems to have attained. I take vitamins, get flu and Covid shots, and watch what I eat, but I try to steer clear of physicians. This tendency kicked in not long after my decades-long primary care physician retired. In his The Body: A Guide for Occupants , Bill Bryson defines good health as the health enjoyed by someone who hasn’t had a physical lately. The ancients made this point more directly, advising bene caca et declina medicos (translation on request) . For a variety of reasons, physicians of the current day are fond of sending patients for a multiplicity of tests: bone density tests, colonoscopies, biopsies, X-rays of all sorts, CT scans, MRIs, stopping only at SATs. I am not keen to discover ailments that don’t bother me. At the age of eighty-seven, I figure I am playing with house money, and I have no wish to upset the house by prodding my health in search of imperfections any more than is absolutely necessary.

The older one gets, unless one’s life is lived in pain or deepest regret, the more fortunate one feels. Not always, not everyone, I suppose. “The longer I live, the more I am inclined to the belief that this earth is used by other planets as a lunatic asylum,” said George Bernard Shaw, who lived to age ninety-four. Though the world seems to be in a hell of a shape just now, I nonetheless prefer to delay my exit for as long as I can. I like it here, continue to find much that is interesting and amusing, and have no wish to depart the planet.

Still, with advancing years I have found my interests narrowing. Not least among my waning interests is that in travel. I like my domestic routine too much to abandon it for foreign countries where the natives figure to be wearing Air Jordan shoes, Ralph Lauren shirts, and cargo pants. Magazines that I once looked forward to, many of which I have written for in the past, no longer contain much that I find worth reading. A former moviegoer, I haven’t been to a movie theater in at least a decade. The high price of concert and opera tickets has driven me away. The supposedly great American playwrights—Arthur Miller, Tennessee Williams, Eugene O’Neill, Edward Albee—have never seemed all that good to me, and I miss them not at all. If all this sounds like a complaint that the culture has deserted me, I don’t feel that it has. I can still listen to my beloved Mozart on discs, read Tolstoy, Jane Austen, Dickens, George Eliot, Willa Cather, and the other great novelists, watch the splendid movies of earlier days on Turner Classics and HBO—live, in other words, on the culture of the past.

“Vho needs dis?” Igor Stravinsky is supposed to have remarked when presented with some new phenomena of the avant-garde or other work in the realm of art without obvious benefit. “Vho needs dis?” is a question that occurred to me more than once or twice as I wrote my autobiography. All I can say is that those who read my autobiography will read of the life of a man lucky enough to have devoted the better part of his days to fitting words together into sentences, sentences into paragraphs, and paragraphs into essays and stories on a wide variety of topics. Now in his autobiography all the sentences and paragraphs are about his own life. He hopes that these sentences are well made, these paragraphs have a point, and together they attain to a respectable truth quotient, containing no falsehoods whatsoever. He hopes that, on these modest grounds at least, his autobiography qualifies as worth reading.

Joseph Epstein  is author of  Gallimaufry , a collection of essays and reviews.

Image by  Museum Rotterdam on Wikimedia Commons , licensed via Creative Commons . Image cropped. 

Articles by Joseph Epstein

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Rebel wilson says sacha baron cohen is the “a**hole” that allegedly tried to stop her writing about him in memoir.

The Aussie actress had earlier claimed that an unnamed star had hired "a crisis PR manager and lawyers" to "threaten" her over a chapter in her book, 'Rebel Rising.' A spokesperson for Baron Cohen says, "These demonstrably false claims are directly contradicted by extensive detailed evidence."

By Abid Rahman

Abid Rahman

International Editor, Digital

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Rebel Wilson has revealed that her Grimsby co-star Sacha Baron Cohen is the previously unnamed Hollywood “asshole” that is allegedly attempting to stop her writing about him in her upcoming memoir, Rebel Rising .

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Last week, in an Instagram post, Wilson revealed that she intended to dedicate a whole chapter in her book to “a massive asshole” she had previously worked with in Hollywood, although she didn’t reveal the person’s name, the project they worked on together or provide any further details.

“When I first came to Hollywood, people were like, yeah, ‘I have a no-asshole policy, [it] means like, yeah, I don’t work with assholes.’ I was like, ‘Oh yeah. I mean, that sounds sensible or logical,'” Wilson says in an Instagram video posted March 15 . “But then it really sunk in [what they, the older people in the industry, meant] because I worked with a massive asshole and yeah, now I definitely have a no-assholes policy.”

Wilson added, “The chapter on said asshole is chapter 23. That guy was a massive asshole.”

Wilson’s book, Rebel Rising , is set to roll out globally in hardcover, ebook and audio April 2. The book, published by Simon & Schuster, will track Wilson’s “unconventional journey” to finding success in Hollywood after growing up in Australia.

Over the weekend, Wilson sent an update on her social media, claimed that the star in question had hired a “crisis PR manager and lawyers” to “threaten” her in order to stop her writing about him.

“I wrote about an asshole in my book. Now, said asshole is trying to threaten me,” Wilson said in a now deleted Instagram Story reported by Us Weekly . “He’s hired a crisis PR manager and lawyers. He is trying to stop press coming out about my book. But the book WILL come out, and you will all know the truth.”

Wilson and Baron Cohen worked together on the 2016 comedy Grimsby . In the film, Wilson played the girlfriend of Baron Cohen’s character Nobby, an English football hooligan who becomes an elite spy. The film also starred Mark Strong, Penélope Cruz and Baron Cohen’s real life wife Isla Fisher.

Wilson has previously hinted at friction and disagreements over her role in Grimsby . In 2014, Australia’s The Courier-Mail newspaper reported on comments Wilson made to the radio show Kyle and Jackie O about her time working on the Louis Leterrier film. “Sacha is so outrageous,” Wilson said. “Every single day he’s like, ‘Rebel, can you just go naked in this scene?’ And I’m like, ‘No!’ Sacha and I have the same agent in America and I’m like, ‘Sacha, I’m going to call our agent Sharon and tell her how much you are harassing me.”

Wilson adds, “Every day he’s like, ‘Just go naked, it will be funny. Remember in Borat when I did that naked scene? It was hilarious.’ On the last day I thought I’d obviously won the argument, and he got a body double to do the naked scene.”

She continued, “Then in the last scene…he was like, ‘Rebel can you just stick your finger up my butt?’ And I went, ‘What do you mean Sacha? That’s not in the script.’ “And he’s like, ‘Look, I’ll just pull down my pants, you just stick your finger up my butt, it’ll be a really funny bit.'”

This story originally posted March 24, 11:47 p.m.

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